Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, I could see it, mate. :thumbup: Definitely post that image correctly.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Yeah, I could see it, mate. :thumbup: Definitely post that image correctly.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Same. Though I'm also wondering why I bother anymore. :idontknow:
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
So I spent my day yesterday at my city's theme park. They have this ride called the Power surge, it takes you up a long conveyor belt in a big boat ride and then drops down like a big slide into the shallow water. The thing about the ride is that there is a bridge right above the end of the slide that is above the water and anyone that stands there while the ride is coming down will be drenched with a giant rush of water. I used to be absolutely terrified of standing on the bridge and getting soaked because I was scared of the amount of water that would come rushing towards me and I was scared I would get blown off the bridge. But now, for the past several times that I've gone to the park it is the first thing I go and do. I head straight for that bridge and get dripping wet because it's always really hot outside. I suppose that's how all fears work. If I face them they get smaller. I can even try to take a nap on a ride now that used to scare me and make my heart beat faster when I went near it several years ago (although I wouldn't suggest napping on a ride).
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
I think my head's going to explode. I'm having a really bad panic attack because I did something on Facebook that made someone else send me a message that I don't know how to respond to, and then the phone started ringing with the usual spam calls, but I thought maybe they were real calls about the thing I did, and now I can't breathe, and this is a run-on sentence, and I'm not at all happy with any of this. It was a nice thing I did, and it's a nice thing she wants to do, and anybody else would feel really good right now, but I'm not anybody else, so I don't. I think my fish may be burning, so I must go.
AtTheGates
Banned
one of the many things iv learned from working a prison can be summed up in a simple question . who are the angriest/saddest people to ever exist? Answer: the people who get no love. : / ...everyone wonders why young people join gangs or fly across the world to join isis....its because these young people were outcasts and gangs(crips, bloods, ms-13,aryan brotherhood,etc)
reached out to them and showed them love...so they followed those who showed them love.
the prison I work at consists of all male inmates...sometimes when Im there I look around at these guys and its like the island of misfit toys : /
when I first started working in corrections I didnt like when inmates would constantly ask me to leave their pod because half the time they'll make up any excuse to leave the dorm and just wander the complex if they can.....but over time iv gotten to the point where I'm letting more and more of them go to see the chaplain (she's like the nun of the prison who helps the inmates)... because if they're going to go ANYWHERE, at least their going there to hear about jesus..and jesus was all about love and TLC ...and for some of these inmates thats what they REALLY need because they never had a good mother and father to show them the way/the light. .....so I hope that when some of these guys get out of prison, they remember the love they were shown by the chaplain..and then the next time before they commit a crime they'll stop and think: WWJD
I hate when I look at an inmate and see nothing worth liking...I HATE that...id like to believe that all people have SOME kind of good in them but maybe it just got lost along the way and someone needs to help them remember that they ARE good people.
similarly, I saw this article recently and wondered , why did this young girl join ISIS? .....its because she felt alone and good christians didnt shepard her in and guide her in the right direction in life. she felt disenfranchised and felt like no one understood her. Thats why nuns exist . they help lost people. seriosuly, if a good christian woman had reached out to her this might not have happened
German schoolgirl who fled home to join ISIS is captured | Daily Mail Online
I want you to think about that the next time you see a lost person/outcast.....dont just judge them right off the bat.
on another note, this is one of the most beautiful woman if ever seen in my life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6CLeApNY8Y
reached out to them and showed them love...so they followed those who showed them love.
the prison I work at consists of all male inmates...sometimes when Im there I look around at these guys and its like the island of misfit toys : /
when I first started working in corrections I didnt like when inmates would constantly ask me to leave their pod because half the time they'll make up any excuse to leave the dorm and just wander the complex if they can.....but over time iv gotten to the point where I'm letting more and more of them go to see the chaplain (she's like the nun of the prison who helps the inmates)... because if they're going to go ANYWHERE, at least their going there to hear about jesus..and jesus was all about love and TLC ...and for some of these inmates thats what they REALLY need because they never had a good mother and father to show them the way/the light. .....so I hope that when some of these guys get out of prison, they remember the love they were shown by the chaplain..and then the next time before they commit a crime they'll stop and think: WWJD
I hate when I look at an inmate and see nothing worth liking...I HATE that...id like to believe that all people have SOME kind of good in them but maybe it just got lost along the way and someone needs to help them remember that they ARE good people.
similarly, I saw this article recently and wondered , why did this young girl join ISIS? .....its because she felt alone and good christians didnt shepard her in and guide her in the right direction in life. she felt disenfranchised and felt like no one understood her. Thats why nuns exist . they help lost people. seriosuly, if a good christian woman had reached out to her this might not have happened
German schoolgirl who fled home to join ISIS is captured | Daily Mail Online
I want you to think about that the next time you see a lost person/outcast.....dont just judge them right off the bat.
on another note, this is one of the most beautiful woman if ever seen in my life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6CLeApNY8Y
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Woke up. My mother said summit to piss me. I spoke back, and criticised her - both of which are wrong, apparently. Now I'm in a crappy mood. :veryangry: :kickingmyself: :sad:
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Third anxiety attack in two days. I'm a-doin' real good here, folks. 
AtTheGates
Banned
long day at work. things have become pretty much routine at work outside of a few inmate fights here and there and of course the constant insults from inmates to C.O.'s (one of the dumbest ones iv heard so far is "as your mom how my d*** tastes" which was said by an 18 year old bloods gang member/highschool drop out...lol...poor guy.
anyway, today a long day. we had bunch of new admissions , two of which who were Sur-13 members who basically wanted to leave dorms 3&4 and come hang out in dorm 2 after pretty much EVERY meal so I was arguing with them on and off all day and we had to cuff one of them just to get him to stfu.
there are immigrants coming from middle america( southern mexico and countries beneath it) who come here SPECIFICALLY for criminal purposes. meanwhile we have other immigrants who have been coming to this state from venezuela who are good people but just want to escape their corrupt government . there was recently a "symbolic vote" a few towns away from here for venezuleans because they were worried that their government was going to alter the ballot count somehow. I feel bad for them but I hope they appreciate what the U.S. is doing for them.
at work, I try to always remember that a lot of these inmates never had a good moral compass to begin with and probalby didnt have much of a good family. iv been reminding myself every morning: WWJD..but sometimes its hard...(so I listen to Bob Marley on the way to work!. lol)....but esepcially hard when I know that some of these gang members here who are around my age are always trying to recruit teenagers/vulnerable people into their gangs and it makes me really mad. gangs do that a lot, they look for down and out/disenfranchised young people because they know they're easy prey.
look, Im not against immigrants ..I just dont want Sur-13, MS-13, and Islamic state supporters slipping across our border because they claim to have family here. some of them use children as a masquerade and thats fvcking despicable .
a good thing though is the fact that , when I'm focusing on the problems of the world and trying to change them I dont think at ALL about the people that have hurt me...the people that have manipulated me and used me....knowing I can make a difference in the world if I keep striving forward is one of the best feelings iv ever had....everything else is lackluster in comparison.....as long as I dont let people bring me down I know I can improve the world in SOME way, even if I have to do it alone.
anyway, today a long day. we had bunch of new admissions , two of which who were Sur-13 members who basically wanted to leave dorms 3&4 and come hang out in dorm 2 after pretty much EVERY meal so I was arguing with them on and off all day and we had to cuff one of them just to get him to stfu.
there are immigrants coming from middle america( southern mexico and countries beneath it) who come here SPECIFICALLY for criminal purposes. meanwhile we have other immigrants who have been coming to this state from venezuela who are good people but just want to escape their corrupt government . there was recently a "symbolic vote" a few towns away from here for venezuleans because they were worried that their government was going to alter the ballot count somehow. I feel bad for them but I hope they appreciate what the U.S. is doing for them.
at work, I try to always remember that a lot of these inmates never had a good moral compass to begin with and probalby didnt have much of a good family. iv been reminding myself every morning: WWJD..but sometimes its hard...(so I listen to Bob Marley on the way to work!. lol)....but esepcially hard when I know that some of these gang members here who are around my age are always trying to recruit teenagers/vulnerable people into their gangs and it makes me really mad. gangs do that a lot, they look for down and out/disenfranchised young people because they know they're easy prey.
look, Im not against immigrants ..I just dont want Sur-13, MS-13, and Islamic state supporters slipping across our border because they claim to have family here. some of them use children as a masquerade and thats fvcking despicable .
a good thing though is the fact that , when I'm focusing on the problems of the world and trying to change them I dont think at ALL about the people that have hurt me...the people that have manipulated me and used me....knowing I can make a difference in the world if I keep striving forward is one of the best feelings iv ever had....everything else is lackluster in comparison.....as long as I dont let people bring me down I know I can improve the world in SOME way, even if I have to do it alone.
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GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Disgusting. Vile. Grotesque.
I'm a stain that will never wash out.
I'm a stain that will never wash out.
theslowesthand
Banned
My life feels LIGHT YEARS away from being normal, or happy. And there's nothing really that i can do about it now. I feel that only death can save me now. :sad:
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
On the other side, if you have nothing to lose than you only have everything to gain. It's like a free bet at a casino, it would be silly to just throw it away without at least trying to cash in on it.
In other words, once you don't want to be here anymore, I think it has the power to lift the weight of all the things keeping you down. Things like money, relationships, depression, whatever the specific thing is - if you're about to die (or you feel ready seriously ready to make it happen) they just don't matter anymore. And maybe it's some sort of survival instinct embedded in our genes, but that feeling when captured has a freeing power to it.
I don't know if you've ever imagined what you would do if you went to the doctor and they told you that you were going to die in a day, a week, a month, a year - and what you would do once leaving the doctors office. Drive until you don't know where you are, be a bold fool, do things you feel like you can't because of anxiety, depression, responsibility, obligations, whatever. I would say - Go do them. Like I said, if you're on your last straw you have nothing to lose - at least give yourself a chance to cash in. Maybe you'll make enough to start growing the wealth.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, I can definitely relate. Though, I was never normal, so don't exactly know how to be that. :idontknow:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I wish things were going better for me. Not that I wish my life was easy, since it's far from being that. Just... I guess I had a lotta hopes that things would be different this year. But sadly that's no the case. :sad:
Makes me wonder why I even put myself through all that pain last year? Hasn't really changed anything. My family still see me as someone who they can lie to, browbeat and take advantage of. And I still see myself as a useless burden to them. But then that all I am to most people. A burden... ::
Makes me wonder why I even put myself through all that pain last year? Hasn't really changed anything. My family still see me as someone who they can lie to, browbeat and take advantage of. And I still see myself as a useless burden to them. But then that all I am to most people. A burden... :
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AtTheGates
Banned
Metaphor for today: This is a scene from an old TMNT movie from the 90's.....gangs ALWAYS try to reel in children... bloods,crips,MS-13,islamic state,etc... you name it they do it..... thats why good christians must always remember Matthew 4:19 . ...this is an old story that has been passed down through the generations.....its also known as "the pied piper"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNQNoWABGDk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNQNoWABGDk
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
I like the way you described it. I can attest to that fact as well but only on a smaller scale. I used to be a member on a particular website but when I felt the social community on the site was turning toxic to me I gave up wondering what strangers thought of me. Granted, I got on the wrong side of one of the sites administrators by taking a joke too far and got my account permanently banned...but still, the freedom was uplifting. For many of us on this site I conclude a diagnosis of terminal cancer is just what it would take to break free of our so-called mental blockades and live life, like almost free of SA. Granted I'm not there yet myself, I still live in fear of even posting new threads on this forum because I wonder what total strangers half way around the world will think of me.
AtTheGates
Banned
They smoked this mother f**ker. ....as a U.S. army sergeant do you know how many young people he had under his supervision? how many young people probably looked up to him? that pisses me off so much.
U.S. Army sergeant indicted in Hawaii on charges of trying to help Islamic State | Reuters
U.S. Army sergeant indicted in Hawaii on charges of trying to help Islamic State | Reuters
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Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
Also reminds me of Luke 17:1-2. Temptations will always come, but woe to him through which those troubles come. For it would better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck then to cause one of these little ones to stumble.
AtTheGates
Banned
true!
or throw him in prison...but then he'd just be a debt to tax payers : /...I mean , who wants to maintain the life of cold-hearted person that deceives children?......it must be difficult to be a judge or magistrate and be the one who has to make that decision .