Having to tell people your lack of progress

I've been trapped in a depression of procrastination, social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, sleep-disorders etc. sitting at home, and basically doing nothing day in day out. I blame a lot of this on my lack of having "structure" in my life, which I obviously need. No job, no classes. Just me and my project. And I blame myself a lot for my lack of progress. But recently, I've had breakthroughs and finally "found myself again", as in I feel like I've overcome most of it and are on the right track again.

So I've basically had a delay in graduating for 1 year now, in finishing my graduation project. Today I will visit some family for christmas, and they will all ask how progress is going, what I have been doing all this time etc.
I fear a lot of judgemental reactions, or flabbergastedness, or just plain awkwardness, which could potentially be a complete blowback for me to old habits. I'll feel like a lazy bum, a fool who does nothing with his life, while I'm currently working hard on improving. My life just hasn't caught up yet. They'll think, oh here he is again with his "promises" etc.

I don't want to lie but I also don't want to tell people about all of my problems. I know I shouldn't let someone else's opinion weigh so much, because in the end, it's my life, but I hate having to go through this and don't know what I will say. My confidence in my self and my ability to overcome this isn't nearly high enough to not be anxious about this. I don't want to fake an irrational self-confidence to just keep up appearances, but I also don't want to seem like a hopeless fool.

phocas said:

If you get asked, keep it short and sweet, stick to the positives, bend the truth slightly if need be, then turn it back on them by asking how THEY are going

Click to expand...

That's a good idea. I just hope I won't get angry or conflicted inside and be passively-agressive or distant in tone when I turn it back on them. It's hard to control those feelings.

The least embarrassing way to go about it is to tell people that your depressed and it spins off into other problems like lack of enthusiasm and anxiety. Nobody is going to make fun of you if you have an actual problem they just don't get it if they've never had it before.

super frank said:

The least embarrassing way to go about it is to tell people that your depressed and it spins off into other problems like lack of enthusiasm and anxiety. Nobody is going to make fun of you if you have an actual problem they just don't get it if they've never had it before.

Click to expand...

I don't know. It's honest but I feel like it's not valid anymore, as I'm not depressed anymore. This may be self-denial, but I think I've taken a lot of steps to motivate myself out of a depressing mindset and are ready to take life on again. I don't know if it 'll make me feel better to go back and telling people I'm depressed. It's moving forward for me now.

I think I'll go with Phocas advice. I guess it's best to not give in to negativity and try to think positive. Of course the key here is to be rational about it and not hype myself up with confidence based on a fantasy. Laughing fakely while telling about my life is not really in my nature though. That'll send off awkwardness for sure.

Confidence based on fantasy is one of my weaknesses and so is my imagination which seems to even get in the way of something good happening in real life but the way I'm perceived is always the same in the end. You seem very passive when I had this "always staring at the ground when i walked" disorder I just became a more aggressive person and became confident through this, looking directly at people. I didn't care what people thought I was one with myself. Being passive seems to get mixed up with being responsible which is a lot of what anxiety sufferers focus on, they're the most responsible but it comes with a weakness and in this case a lack of confidence because it's not needed and used still.

Well guys the ****storm came unfortunately and even ended in a fight about my financial situation, etc. with my sister who is probably a borderline manic depressive herself. I tried to be rational about it, explain how and why, but she's just an impossible person and she seems to somehow think I haven't beat myself up over my lack of progress myself enough already.
The whole "Do you want to end up homeless" crap. No **** Sherlock, do you honestly think I need this in my face again?

And then I say she's too negative and I have moved over it, she gets mad, totally unable to control her emotions, bringing up old things again.

Why does christmas always come at the wrong time? I want to go away from here. I want to be independent and live a happy life away from toxic family members who out of their "goodness" and "wanting to help" cause a lot of damage.

Everyone is doing ****ty and we're all just dying. Nobody is doing better than anybody else. There's no immortality, and why would anyone want it anyway?

There's a quote I love from the movie Fight Club:

"On a long enough timeline, everyone's survival rate drops to 0"

eeehhh you only have had 1 year of delayed progress, just wait until you get older and you have 15-20 years wasted where you SHOULD have been pursuing relationships and life experiences but didnt.then try and explain that to your peers.if you dont lie and embellish a little then you are in for a rough ride imo.i have lost many years and i have to add small lies or else i would feel like an absolute failure/loser.

oh and ive never and will never tell anyone about the host of problems i have.not only would they not understand but they would see me as broken and mentally ill which i guess i am.

I tried doing that.

People don't care about me. Not once in my life has anyone other than my family members told me "I'm there for you". Not once did they offer to listen to any of my problems.

So no one ever hears me complaining about anything. I just sit in my cubicle all day, toiling away and running out the clock.

Happens to me every few months whenever I am forced to visit with relatives.
I know it should be 'short and sweet' and focus on the positive things but as I don't do anything-- there's nothing positive to say other than... 'I'm still alive'.

haha

Having to tell people my lack of progress is often the source of why i don't talk to anyone very often tbh. I am really hoping to change this about me very much, and soon. I am pretty hard on myself so I expect a lot from me and when I don't get things happening that I would like when I would like it A.K.A Life, I have trouble excepting it and moving on. I get stuck. I hate this about me though, so I will hopefully fix my attitude directly! I really just want to enjoy the ride more than anything.

I lie. Often and regularly, and occasionally enough that I start believing myself.

I've also got a new one I use these days every time somebody asks me about something uncomfortable: "I do not talk about that."