Happiness

Do you want happiness SPW? So you want the secret I've used for years to cope? It is very simple. Be happy.

Cute girl isn't interested? Be happy. Cat dies? Be happy. Fail an exam? Be happy. Just be happy. No matter what happens, tell yourself that. Be happy be happy be happy. Smile as you spend another night alone. When you see the one girl who might have made you happy in the arms of another. Against their lips. Smile

Because the mind is quite a powerful thing. If you keep this up long enough, soon you will truly convince yourself your happy.*You can go to and from school or work or college and no matter what happend that day, you'll still be happy. Only in the early hours of morning will the reality start to sink in, but you can just ignore this. And who's around to see you façade fall at 2 in the morning? No one, because god forbid they see the sad, self-loathing person you are behind the mask. No, mask is not the right word.

Because it is not just the mask of a smile that you keep up, anyone could do that. What this "mind over body" stuff is is true happiness, so long as you do not think about it. You can go about your day and be genuinly happy, with this new cheery demeanour you may find friends, maybe they'll even be a girl who starts to show interest. Your actually happy. Until your at home of course, at 2 in the morning, with no friends or cute girl to keep your mind off itself. That is when you start to remember how sad you are. You have time to think about everything in your life, and you remember why you shouldn't be happy. But of course the next morning comes with a whole new set of distractions and you can feel happy again.

It's 2 in the morning SPW. I feel like dying. * * * * * *** * *

What is it to make yourself happy? Does it start with the forced smile? Does it require the acceptance of delusions? Does this happiness feed off of ignorance? And even as a cycle, does this happiness last?

I don't agree with pretending & lying, at least not for myself. If other people want to do it, that's fine. But I'm not going to pretend I'm happy for anyone.

I agree to some extent that we must show a facade but being happy when the cat dies? Girl not interested?...Surely we shouldn't be expected to be happy in these kind of situations?

This reminded me of something I read

Woody Allen said:

"One must have one's delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and too clearly life does become unbearable because it's a pretty grim enterprise,"

"This is my perspective and has always been my perspective on life - I have a very grim, pessimistic view of it."

"I do feel that it is a grim, painful, nightmarish, meaningless experience and that the only way that you can be happy is if you tell yourself some lies and deceive yourself."

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aww, knight, i know, the positive thinking cult is bs, smiling all day and crying half the night..we can best just be ourselves..well, thats just me, i prefer being lonely to being fake so..i dunno..i know and yet i dont know

I think he didn't mean faking something, he just meant keep going and not dwell on misfortune.

I agree that it can help when you put yourself in a positive attitude, but when you force yourself to be glad and happy in times when you're actually really sad or angry, that's not healthy either. That's denial, and when heavy emotions are put away like that it will catch up with you eventually.

With that said, when it regards minor disappointments, I fully agree. :3

Lea said:

I think he didn't mean faking something, he just meant keep going and not dwell on misfortune.

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yea i agree with this .....

...is a warm gun.

It sounds like Stepford-wife happy. I don't know if I could handle being completely happy....must temper it for it to be worth anything. I just want to be happier. And your first quote is awesome, Remus, it is what I do to survive. Though Woody Allen is a questionable role model.

"One must have one's delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and too clearly life does become unbearable because it's a pretty grim enterprise,"

Silentknight said:

Cute girl isn't interested? Be happy. Cat dies? Be happy. Fail an exam? Be happy. Just be happy. No matter what happens, tell yourself that. Be happy be happy be happy.

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I think there's more to it than just being happy without cause. You have to see the positive side of things in order to be happy.

Cute girl isn't interested? Well at least you tried. You're gaining experience, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Cat dies? Of course you are going to grieve for your cat if you cared for it, but you know that all animals eventually die, and when you're ready, you can get a new kitten and raise it.

Fail an exam? At least you gave it your best. And if you didn't, then you have some mistakes to learn from, and if you put more effort into it next time, you will surely succeed.

oh i thought he was being sarcastic about the sort of advice we are often given by people whove never been depressed

I dont really agree, but thats not to say it may not work for some people. I have tried affirmations, hypnosis, CBT and medication and my negative attitude doesnt seem to change. I think it really comes down to core beliefs and how you truly feel about yourself.

I am still dubious about whether or not a person can change their attitude because I think the way a person feels about themselves is a combination of innate/hereditary traits and exposure to the world as we grow up.

Besides...If I feel sad, then that's the way I feel. There is no point in suppressing and faking it, because that's just the way it is.

I'm not saying this works nor am I saying that this is good or healthy but it does get you through the day. In the end yes everything I hold in may and probably will be the end of me but at least I'm here another day and no one besides me has to worry about the demons in my head.

I don't want happiness. Just contentment.

One day you'll eventually face your unhappiness and possibly suicide. I don't like living a lie even though I am right now :'(

Pookah said:

It sounds like Stepford-wife happy. I don't know if I could handle being completely happy....must temper it for it to be worth anything. I just want to be happier. And your first quote is awesome, Remus, it is what I do to survive. Though Woody Allen is a questionable role model.

"One must have one's delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and too clearly life does become unbearable because it's a pretty grim enterprise,"

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I completely agree with this quote..
plus my someone once said: "only an idiot doesnt have illusions"

It's very freaky to look into the world of Woddy, I try not to, but sometimes those moments come and it is very scary, what do they bring u, just fear and unhappiness, delusions bring u at least some happiness..

I agree it's not goodf to repress so many emotions, but I do agree on the keep trying part..

Forcing yourself to be happy all the time is madness. Everyone is entitled to be sad if they feel like beeing sad.

On the other hand, if someone you love dies, you f*ck up your chances with a girl you have a crush on or your house burns down, at some point in life the show must go on.

mm i agree, those things sometimes get me through a day (or rough night) too..i guess its a bit similiar to an obese person going on a diet during office hours (im only using this as an example) or an alkie going to 12 step (also just a random example but i relate to both so i used them but dont mean offence to obese people or addicts or obese addicts!) then going home and eating or drinking in bed..our problem can be our dirtly little secret..to be honest i totally do that with depression, social phobia, addiction and guilt..im at at the point (and too damn old) to keep laying my shiz on others so i just carry on and say what i SHOULD say but to be honest i am still totally dying inside..not with things that would have crucified me years a ago like (as happened on monday morning) falling face first onto the chest of a serious young asian woman on the bus..or sweat dripping down my entire body standing in a crowded train or feeling like the all my colleagues and bosses think im mental..i get through all that **** and its sort of condensed down to a few hours in the night feeling like..hell is eating me up slowly.