I was recently told during my performance review at work that my "communication skills" need to improve. I was told nicely enough, my coach took me into his office and explained to me that I need to socialize more and take an interest in my co-workers. I was then told that I have until June to make a noticeable improvement in my communication skills otherwise I will not be promoted and I suspect it could lead to dismissal.
The thing is, I feel that my communication skills have improved greatly. I now say good morning and good evening to the colleague that sits next to me, I go out to all socials, and even go out to team lunches. It just completely undermines all progress I've made to point out that my communication skills are weak. I tried explaining that is a behavioral thing and its difficult to change, but they won't really hear it. Nonsense, they say. Everyone is socially anxious at times, its not a condition.
I'm not going to take medication and I have no respect for the psychiatric or counselling professions. The only way I can make this work is to turn this into a joke. I was thinking I would walk up to my co-workers and say "I've been told I need to improve my communication skills. Therefore, I will attempt to engage you in small-talk." I will then carry around a piece of paper with a list of questions like "I hear there was a popular sporting event on television last night, I assume you watched and enjoyed it, yes?" I would then conclude with, "Why it's almost as if my communication skills have increased, have they not?" I don't know why, but whenever I am insincere and completely fake, I find it far easier to interact with others and I feel its a way to not so subtly mock my senior managers who give me so much trouble for not being outgoing.
I just thought I would share this.
The thing is, I feel that my communication skills have improved greatly. I now say good morning and good evening to the colleague that sits next to me, I go out to all socials, and even go out to team lunches. It just completely undermines all progress I've made to point out that my communication skills are weak. I tried explaining that is a behavioral thing and its difficult to change, but they won't really hear it. Nonsense, they say. Everyone is socially anxious at times, its not a condition.
I'm not going to take medication and I have no respect for the psychiatric or counselling professions. The only way I can make this work is to turn this into a joke. I was thinking I would walk up to my co-workers and say "I've been told I need to improve my communication skills. Therefore, I will attempt to engage you in small-talk." I will then carry around a piece of paper with a list of questions like "I hear there was a popular sporting event on television last night, I assume you watched and enjoyed it, yes?" I would then conclude with, "Why it's almost as if my communication skills have increased, have they not?" I don't know why, but whenever I am insincere and completely fake, I find it far easier to interact with others and I feel its a way to not so subtly mock my senior managers who give me so much trouble for not being outgoing.
I just thought I would share this.