I confessed to my crush

[Diend]

Itwas a one sided crush of 2 years and i confessed to her over facebook. I said not to think too much of it and hope it wasnt disturbing but just wanted to get it off my chest. She responded with a polite thank you and i unfriended her. It has been a rewarding experience as of yet. I am no longer plagued with romantic thoughts of her and it has brought my fantasy down to reality. Thanks so much nath

To answer your question: She has a boyfriend thats why i unfriended her. The moment i let her know, i felt embarrassed and unfriending her was a way to mitigate the awkwardness of still being her friend on facebook. I cant really explain it rationally now that i think of it, but it just felt right not to be her friend anymore now that the secret's out and the feelings obviously werent mutual. I could always refriend her and she could always friend me again if she became interested. I did hint at the fact that i wanted to move on though.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I'm not sure unfriending her was entirely necessary but maybe it was for the best if it helps you move on. One-sided relationships aren't healthy.

Hopefully next time you won't let 2 years pass before you talk to a girl you like, or allow it to build up into an obsession. :thumbup:

 

[jaim38]

I used to be like you. I had a crush on a classmate in high school for about 3-4 years. After high school, I confessed to him but he rejected me over IM. I unfriended him on FB. I was devastated, but in the end, I got over it. Let me say this: I don't even know him. I have never physically spoken to him directly, only on IM chat. Therefore it was extremely unhealthy for me to obsess over him.

Now, I learn a lesson to not obsess over real life people. If I want to satisfy my romantic needs, I turn to my daydreams and fantasize about fake characters.

 

[emre43]

Can't understand for the life of me why you unfriended her. What did you achieve by doing that?

 

[Hellhound]

Why didn't you talk to her more?

 

[Liliford_]

I personally think you went about dealing with this 'one-sided crush' as well as you could, without dragging it out even more or making it anymore awkward. Un-friending her was the best move, removing all links with her will definitely help you move on.
I appaulde you for you courage, it must have been a difficult to finally put an end to the whole situation.

 

[Silatuyok]

To answer your question: She has a boyfriend thats why i unfriended her. The moment i let her know, i felt embarrassed and unfriending her was a way to mitigate the awkwardness of still being her friend on facebook. I cant really explain it rationally now that i think of it, but it just felt right not to be her friend anymore now that the secret's out and the feelings obviously werent mutual. I could always refriend her and she could always friend me again if she became interested. I did hint at the fact that i wanted to move on though.

Sounds reasonable. I'm glad you are finally able to move on, it's like a breath of fresh air!

 

[SilentAndShy]

I had a University crush that I really thought reciprocated my feelings (I came to this conclusion with every glance, smile or comment she made towards me) and I never got the chance to confess as we finished Uni and I never saw her again.

I hoped to do so when she added me on FB but she quickly disappeared.

But I confessed. Not to her. But her closest friend who confirmed my worst fears that she was spoken for and had been since school days.

It wasn't as soul destroying because I kinda sensed it but I always felt she'd never want to go out with a guy like me (riddled with SA) compared to the guy she could have gone out with.

But if I saw her again because I know, I'd be abit more relaxed whereas at Uni, I always got so nervous and anxious that I probably came across too shy or as a weirdo.

 

[lonelee1]

i can see why you unfriended her i guess. a rash decision maybe, but if that helps you to move on, than its good. i know what its like to one side a relationship

 

[Opaline]

Crush killed. Just what I needed.

I noticed that confessing a crush sometimes squelches it; I don't mean being rejected by the person you've confessed to, I mean simply confessing it at all. It doesn't always happen, but sometimes I've found that after I told someone I liked them, soon after the feelings vanished - almost like it was some fantasy in your head and now that you've put it out in the real world it's become insubstantial, like a silly daydream or something. Poof, gone. Weird how that works.

 

[onehandclapping]

I'm not sure unfriending her was entirely necessary but maybe it was for the best if it helps you move on. One-sided relationships aren't healthy.

Hopefully next time you won't let 2 years pass before you talk to a girl you like, or allow it to build up into an obsession. :thumbup:

just out of interest what would you say is the appropriate time scale to let another know of your feelings about them?

 

[GarryU]

I swear I remember this topic from the SAS forum.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

just out of interest what would you say is the appropriate time scale to let another know of your feelings about them?

I wasn't really talking about letting her know his feelings. I meant just talking to her. Conversationally. Getting to know her as an actual person; spending time with her. So that she doesn't become a mostly fictional creature existing in his head.

Offhand I'd say that if there's a real relationship developing, neither party's feelings will be a great shock to the other, and there won't even be a need for any dramatic confessions of adoration.