Do you feel excluded..?

[KiaKaha]

I do. All the time.... I need to get this out because I am having difficulty with my feelings and I need an outlet before I kick an animal or something.
I have felt all through my life that people dont really notice me due to "something" about me. I dont know what it is, but what frustrates me, is that yes I am shy, and reserved but I am also compassionate, kind and polite... Things about me that I thought were good characteristics.

Because of this I always take notice of the more unpopular people or the ones who are desperately shy... (because I believe an aspect of shyness is a yearning for acceptance but unable to attain it)

I can recall so many things where I have gone out of my way to make people feel acknowledged and accepted only to be ignored or not acknowledged myself. Even my family dont notice me... they all talk OVER me or they finish my sentences. Cliques are everywhere... and I feel like I am the only one who notices how evil they really are.

I know some of this is cognitive and in my head, but its how I perceive things, and I also think thats where a lot of people get ideas about how they feel about themselves.

It just makes me feel really resentful and fed up with people.

Anyway sorry to interrupt.

 

[Invisibleman]

yeah I do all of the time. My group of "friends" excludes me all the time,its like I dont even exist. And my god can I relate to the family one. They piss me off so much,they play favourites with my sister they definetely love her more than me.When she comes home from college its like they forget about me completely. "mom I was looking at universities earlier and.." "cmon we gotta clean the house your sisters coming home" "but" "this house is filthy go get the broom and sweep" *later at dinner* "so mom as I was saying about univers.. *sister cuts in* "oh my god I went to the hockey game the other night it was sooooo fun". Its pretty bad when my own family thinks im invisible.

And I feel so damn excluded right now,there the halloween dance at school (where the ladies dress very *ahem* revealing: and everybodies there but me.My friends made plans to all go together right in front of me and left me out completely. sorry for my ranting haha

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well, we notice you so try to find some comfort in that. Those qualities about you are great and don't give them up because some people; we need more people like you in this world. I feel ignored and shut off from the rest of the world as well, but I try to focus on those who will accept me and hope that there are others like them. Please don't resent everyone; there are some good people out there and, on top of that, you are a person people should feel lucky to get to know. Just kick the haters and instigators to the side and move on with your head held high.

When your family speaks over you, try to raise your voice some more so that your voice isn't drowned out. As for when they finish your sentences, kindly tell them that you have a voice and that you would appreciate it if they let you use it.

Don't apologize for stating how you feel; your opinion and feelings are as important as the rest of ours'. We'd be happy to help you with any problem you have, so don't hesitate to ask alright?

 

[deleted #89]

No... I feel good now. Boo to the ya !

 

[Srijita52]

I know how you feel, I feel this all the time and its the most painful feeling ever. You're right, some of these are cognitive but some others might happen because of my actual lack of social skills. I've been told that I'm hard to be heared cos I speak in a very low voice. Plus I'm quiet most of the time cos I don't know what to say. So maybe working on these stuff help a little bit?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I don't have a group of friends or a group of anyone to be excluded from-- other than my family, and I'm excluded from the things they do on purpose because I don't want to get drunk and act like an idiot and that's all that happens when they're in a group together.

So, I exclude myself- by my own choice.
If I had a friend(s) and was feeling excluded, I suppose the next reasonable thing to do would be to put myself out there and be more active so that I don't feel excluded... that is... if I actually wanted to do what they were doing.
Taking the initiative is scary when you're expecting rejection but sometimes it's the only thing that you can do with a good chance of actually making a difference for yourself.

 

[KiaKaha]

I dont resent people, well not entirely... it just hurts my feelings. its just everyone is vying for so much attention here its hard to get your voice heard. And when you dont have anywhere else to go to express how you feel and then you ALSO get ignored online then its like you feel like you dont matter to anybody at all.
I think being left out sucks. Its the worst feeling in the world. I just would of thought for a social anxiety website people would realize this more.

I would like to help people more myself but I am too shy to give advice, and I feel stupid posting comments which look like they are just being ignored.

Thank you though, I do appreciate all the responses.

 

[KiaKaha]

Taking the initiative is scary when you're expecting rejection but sometimes it's the only thing that you can do with a good chance of actually making a difference for yourself.

Yes. People told me this before.

 

[Silatuyok]

Well, you're doing the right thing here on this forum by speaking up and getting us to acknowledge your feelings. I'm sorry that you've felt left out here, I think everyone does from time to time. I can get paranoid when people don't respond to something I post, I think I have said something dumb or somehow offensive. But I try to remember how difficult it is for me to keep up with the endless posts, and how many people I don't respond to simply because I don't know what to say. Please remember that all the posts here are read and considered, and that nobody here would intentionally try to leave anyone else out. It's just not possible. ::

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I often feel excluded as well. But these days I feel more rejected than excluded. It is an ugly feeling. I used to have these cat stickers when I was younger, and on one there was a picture of this black and white cat looking all sad and it said On the outside looking in or something like that. That image and those words have stuck in my head all these years.

So, I exclude myself- by my own choice.

That would be me too. It was a sort of coping mechanism to avoid being hurt. Sadly, now I don't need it but can't seem to shake it off. I want to be with people, but all I know is pushing them away.

I dont resent people, well not entirely... it just hurts my feelings. its just everyone is vying for so much attention here its hard to get your voice heard. And when you dont have anywhere else to go to express how you feel and then you ALSO get ignored online then its like you feel like you dont matter to anybody at all.
I think being left out sucks. Its the worst feeling in the world. I just would of thought for a social anxiety website people would realize this more.

I would like to help people more myself but I am too shy to give advice, and I feel stupid posting comments which look like they are just being ignored.

Thank you though, I do appreciate all the responses.

I totally get what you are saying here. I have felt this as well. But you know what we have to do? Just keep posting. I actually made it one of my goals to post here, as well as other sites, 'cause it is important for us to become comfortable sharing our opinions and thoughts, and it is a form of participating. So important.

I've taken note of your threads. I can relate so much to what you say. You are not alone, my friend. We are in this together.

 

[MikeyC]

I totally get what you are saying here. I have felt this as well. But you know what we have to do? Just keep posting. I actually made it one of my goals to post here, as well as other sites, 'cause it is important for us to become comfortable sharing our opinions and thoughts, and it is a form of participating. So important.

I try not to post about myself much because a lot of my posts get ignored. I'm more comfortable replying to others and helping them.

As for feeling excluded, not really. One of my mates includes me in anything he does, which is nice. I'm more excluded by my own family, really.

 

[Ms Cloud]

I dont resent people, well not entirely... it just hurts my feelings. its just everyone is vying for so much attention here its hard to get your voice heard. And when you dont have anywhere else to go to express how you feel and then you ALSO get ignored online then its like you feel like you dont matter to anybody at all.

I think being left out sucks. Its the worst feeling in the world. I just would of thought for a social anxiety website people would realize this more.

I feel ignored all the time, too. Although I might be more resigned to it than you are. I don't go on internet groups expecting to be included; I just talk for the sake of talking. I always feel like I'm talking to myself, except that typing it out is slightly less demented than actually talking to myself.

Because my expectations are so low, it's always a nice surprise when someone does respond to me. It's like a little bonus. But if they don't, that's ok too. They don't owe me anything, and they have their own problems.

I've only been here a short time, but I've enjoyed reading your posts. They're well written and thoughtful. If you ever post something that gets ignored, let me know and I'll gladly write a reply.

 

[Siegfried]

I dont resent people, well not entirely... it just hurts my feelings. its just everyone is vying for so much attention here its hard to get your voice heard. And when you dont have anywhere else to go to express how you feel and then you ALSO get ignored online then its like you feel like you dont matter to anybody at all.
I think being left out sucks. Its the worst feeling in the world. I just would of thought for a social anxiety website people would realize this more.

I would like to help people more myself but I am too shy to give advice, and I feel stupid posting comments which look like they are just being ignored.

Thank you though, I do appreciate all the responses.

Don't worry, i feel the same as you, the only difference is that i get along better with my family, all the other people make me feel nervous, even close or distant relatives...

like you i also came to this forum on occasions to express what i feel, yet it is not easy to write here, but i noticed that people here are comprehensive and that we are all in the same boat, still i rather trying to say or give an advice to those in need because i understand and feel the same as you and many others here... besides, English is not my native language, so sometimes is a bit hard for me to answer topics or other people messages, even with some grammatical errors i try to contribute something to others

I'm sure that people who create a post are aware of all messages written on it, so do not worry and dont feel ignore, sometimes is not necessary to receive a direct response from that person just to know that he/she read your message...

I feel excluded from many things... but at least here I can talk and express myself better than anywhere else... i'm sure you too.

 

[KiaKaha]

Thanks everyone. I'm sorry to come across all grumpy and irritated. I know everyone has their own affairs and problems too and that is hard keeping up with everything going on here...Its just a really frustrating feeling for me...especially since exclusion is something I notice a lot for myself in real life... I look at popular people and always wonder how they manage to pull it off...and I think, thats never going to be me, but then again I am not the most positive person so Its no wonder...

Anyway, all I wanted to say was thanks. I read everyone's response and I appreciate the time you all took to reply It made a big difference.

 

[Kiwong]

No I don't feel excluded. People that matter have gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable and included. I certainly don't expect this from anyone. And I'm not so worried about feeling popular, I fit with a lot of people and that is enough for me.

 

[Silentknight]

Yup, I know the feeling. the only advice I can give you is do your best to let friends and acquaintances know that your always up to hang out and do stuff.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I try not to post about myself much because a lot of my posts get ignored. I'm more comfortable replying to others and helping them.

Your posts are so helpful and encouraging. I was about to go to your profile and tell you how nice it is to read your responses 'cause they are always so positive and kind This attitude is no doubt helping you. I wish it would rub off on me a little. You should post more about yourself though!

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Thanks everyone. I'm sorry to come across all grumpy and irritated. I know everyone has their own affairs and problems too and that is hard keeping up with everything going on here...Its just a really frustrating feeling for me...especially since exclusion is something I notice a lot for myself in real life... I look at popular people and always wonder how they manage to pull it off...and I think, thats never going to be me, but then again I am not the most positive person so Its no wonder...

All of us having SA, sometimes we don't get a chance to be heard in our real lives, so we are all trying to get heard somehow. When I first joined this group I was overwhelmed by how many members it has and the large number of guests that visit. There are a lot of threads and posts as well I always try to read everyone's responses before I respond to a thread. It can be a bit much. I don't get to post as much as I'd like to. I am glad you are feeling better

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Yesterday I felt excluded. I went out with my two sisters to this scary maze thing, and they each brought someone along: one brought her boyfriend, the other a friend. It was a fun night overall, but I felt quite down at times 'cause they would be paired up talking, and going to the mazes holding each other while I tagged back and forth between them. I didn't like that. And yet, I do not know how to change this for next time.

 

[ERose]

I feel excluded at home, everyone is aware of my anxiety problems an how I do things differently, But I'm so different to my sibling's it's hard to be around them for more than an hour or so.