Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Tally_Lyra said:
I had so much fun last night and I made some more friends. I met a girl who came to hang out with us. We played a card game, watched a movie, and just chatted. The girl was great, I took a liking to her right away. The interaction between all of us was so natural and just perfect, it felt like I had known them all along :D

At one point she said, "You're funny, I should hang out with you more often!" lol. And she basically invited me to go somewhere with her sometime.

I'm absolutely thrilled, this is like a dream come true for me. Maybe my years here will be the turning point of my life.
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I'm happy for you :) I'm sure you'll have a great time.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
I hate how I'm almost 22 years old yet my mother still treats me like a fvcking baby or like im retarded or smth. She won't go off to my dad during the winter holiday because shes afraid to leave me alone by myself even for a few days, not to mention weeks. She says i cant take care of the house, and I might starve cause i dunno how to cook for myself. Shes so fvcking ridiculous i want to SCREAM! god i feel so frustrated...
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
Vamp said:
I hate how I'm almost 22 years old yet my mother still treats me like a fvcking baby or like im retarded or smth. She won't go off to my dad during the winter holiday because shes afraid to leave me alone by myself even for a few days, not to mention weeks. She says i cant take care of the house, and I might starve cause i dunno how to cook for myself. Shes so fvcking ridiculous i want to SCREAM! god i feel so frustrated...
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Tell her to go and see your dad. Let her know that you are an adult and that you can take care of yourself. Also, tell her to quit treating you like a kid because it's insulting to you. You might have to get as crude and forceful as you possibly can for her to listen to you. You may get into an argument with her, but these are your opinions and they deserve to be heard, even if the ears that hear them may not exactly agree with them.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Vamp said:
I hate how I'm almost 22 years old yet my mother still treats me like a fvcking baby or like im retarded or smth. She won't go off to my dad during the winter holiday because shes afraid to leave me alone by myself even for a few days, not to mention weeks. She says i cant take care of the house, and I might starve cause i dunno how to cook for myself. Shes so fvcking ridiculous i want to SCREAM! god i feel so frustrated...
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I know how you feel, my mom is exactly same. She treats me like a baby all the time, she even tells my friends to take care of me when I'm out with them! Wtf its so embarassing. Tell your mom that you can handle it and you're a grown up now. I hope she understands.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
DeadmanWalking said:
Tell her to go and see your dad. Let her know that you are an adult and that you can take care of yourself. Also, tell her to quit treating you like a kid because it's insulting to you. You might have to get as crude and forceful as you possibly can for her to listen to you. You may get into an argument with her, but these are your opinions and they deserve to be heard, even if the ears that hear them may not exactly agree with them.
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You have no idea how many times I've tried to have this conversation with her. I had one just earlier and it ended with her yelling at me as always, calling me names, insulting me and telling me I don't know how to do sh!t, can't take care of myself, won't close the door, etc even though Ive NEVER in my life done any stupid things to give her reasons not to trust me. All her life shes been a stay at home mom and she obsessively sheltered me and my brother too much, which im pretty sure is one of the reasons I might have SA and such low confidence. When i would try to help around she would always tell me i cant do it, therefor, i just sort of gave up.

I think she likes to feel in control, to feel useful, and the only way for her to feel like that was to do everything for me and my brother and around the house and making us completely dependent on her. My brother is away now living with his gf, while im still here, im in college, dont have time for a job and im stuck. Im scared 10 years from now nothing will change and i'll still be stuck home with my controlling mother.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
Srijita52 said:
I know how you feel, my mom is exactly same. She treats me like a baby all the time, she even tells my friends to take care of me when I'm out with them! Wtf its so embarassing. Tell your mom that you can handle it and you're a grown up now. I hope she understands.
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It sucks doesn't it. She doesn't understand no matter how many times i tell her. She has this idea that the house might burn down or smth if she leaves me alone, that I'll get raped, that i won't cook for myself and just starve and so on..shes completely fvcking ridiculous, I can't even..
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
PipsMcClawski said:
Sorry about yesterday. I'll figure something out.
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Don't be sorry. You had to get it out and you did. Good for you, mate. *bro-hugs*

Vamp said:
All her life shes been a stay at home mom and she obsessively sheltered me and my brother too much, which im pretty sure is one of the reasons I might have SA and such low confidence.
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Yeah, I can relate here. Only in the last couple of years when my brother and I have been in out 20's has she decided to start working a little bit. Before now she's always been a stay-at-home mother and she sheltered us like you wouldn't believe. My brother seems to have escaped the confines but I didn't.

I hope your mother can trust you to stay at home and stuff. You need some independence every now and then, and it'll be good for your sanity and self-esteem.
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
Vamp said:
You have no idea how many times I've tried to have this conversation with her. I had one just earlier and it ended with her yelling at me as always, calling me names, insulting me and telling me I don't know how to do sh!t, can't take care of myself, won't close the door, etc even though Ive NEVER in my life done any stupid things to give her reasons not to trust me. All her life shes been a stay at home mom and she obsessively sheltered me and my brother too much, which im pretty sure is one of the reasons I might have SA and such low confidence. When i would try to help around she would always tell me i cant do it, therefor, i just sort of gave up.

I think she likes to feel in control, to feel useful, and the only way for her to feel like that was to do everything for me and my brother and around the house and making us completely dependent on her. My brother is away now living with his gf, while im still here, im in college, dont have time for a job and im stuck. Im scared 10 years from now nothing will change and i'll still be stuck home with my controlling mother.
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Then, I think it's time you take control by force. Show her that you can cook your own meals and, overall, survive on your own. If she's cooking, then help her; if she tells you to go away, then tell her no and that there's nothing she can say or do to make you do otherwise. You're might have to get really rough with this; if she calls you useless, then tell her that you're only a byproduct of her raising (of course this is really being cutthroat and should only be used as a last resort) or that she won't let you try to become useful. Be hard-headed and steamroll your way through this.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
DeadmanWalking said:
Then, I think it's time you take control by force. Show her that you can cook your own meals and, overall, survive on your own. If she's cooking, then help her; if she tells you to go away, then tell her no and that there's nothing she can say or do to make you do otherwise. You're might have to get really rough with this; if she calls you useless, then tell her that you're only a byproduct of her raising (of course this is really being cutthroat and should only be used as a last resort) or that she won't let you try to become useful. Be hard-headed and steamroll your way through this.
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You are right, thats exactly what I need to do. Even tho i tried a couple of times and when i happen to do something not right she'll tell me how useless and incapable I am, yet she ****s up things all the time, forget the iron on, the keys outside the door, loses things..
How am I suppose to have any self esteem when she keeps reminding me how dependent and unable and incapable I am.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
Yeah, I can relate here. Only in the last couple of years when my brother and I have been in out 20's has she decided to start working a little bit. Before now she's always been a stay-at-home mother and she sheltered us like you wouldn't believe. My brother seems to have escaped the confines but I didn't.

I hope your mother can trust you to stay at home and stuff. You need some independence every now and then, and it'll be good for your sanity and self-esteem.
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Is it just me or it seems like many people who are socially anxious have parents like that? that says a lot.
 
Beatmetrics

Beatmetrics

Well-known member
Vamp said:
Is it just me or it seems like many people who are socially anxious have parents like that? that says a lot.
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By Jov I think your on to something. Highly sheltered kids happen to turn out to have more social anxieties. HMmmmm! interesting indeed!
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
Vamp said:
Easier said than done.
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i know - just something to consider as an alternative to what you are currently experiencing

Vamp said:
Is it just me or it seems like many people who are socially anxious have parents like that? that says a lot.
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i think this is true

i know it was for me

i don't think i knew it at the time, though (when i was 18)

but i left as soon as i could, because i could feel that there was more for me out there on my own than living in the shadow of my family
 
M

mmmm

Well-known member
I want some chocolate so freaking badly and I do happen to have some on hand but I'm going out tomorrow for the first time in ages and I don't want a breakout between now and then. Sniff.
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
Today they were giving FREE PIZZA in the uni bar for some reason
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I didn't know, I went straight to class and I saw that people were arriving with 5-6-7 pieces of pizza... I had to wait 2 hours in class and when I went there they had nothing left T_T
 
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