How do you react when someone approaches you romantically
- Thread starter Michel
- Start date
Suspicion, but I don't have any experience in this area whatsoever, so I wouldn't know
That depends. In real life, I'll become very suspicious. That just doesn't happen. In my experience they're most likely to need something from me, or they want to boost my self esteem with an empty gesture. Online however, I get hit on genuinely quite a lot. Mostly guys, but not that that's a bad thing. I take the interest as a compliment.
Back when I was still single I found it quite intimidating to tell them off. But if they were to ask me now I'd probably just tell them that I'm already in a relationship without being overly fearful or shy. With that said, it also depends on the person, of course. There's sadly still a lot of people whom are aggressively homophobic.
Back when I was still single I found it quite intimidating to tell them off. But if they were to ask me now I'd probably just tell them that I'm already in a relationship without being overly fearful or shy. With that said, it also depends on the person, of course. There's sadly still a lot of people whom are aggressively homophobic.
So it's always a negative thing for you?
I know I want to make more friends. But when strangers approach me, I tend to be very suspicious. Suspicioun leads to fear and fear leads me to run from the situation. I even try to avoid people who ask for help on the street, something like directions etc.. A minute later I start feeling lonely.
That said, I'm a very critical person in general. I've always been sceptical about other peoples intentions, as being bad. That never really changed for me, even if I know that people are often good. Most of the people I know are actually very lovable. It's only something about strangers that always bothers me. How can I look past that?
I know I want to make more friends. But when strangers approach me, I tend to be very suspicious. Suspicioun leads to fear and fear leads me to run from the situation. I even try to avoid people who ask for help on the street, something like directions etc.. A minute later I start feeling lonely.
That said, I'm a very critical person in general. I've always been sceptical about other peoples intentions, as being bad. That never really changed for me, even if I know that people are often good. Most of the people I know are actually very lovable. It's only something about strangers that always bothers me. How can I look past that?
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It depends what you mean with 'approach in a direct way' - there's a big difference between someone just being friendly/nice or someone trying to 'hit on you' or such... though sometimes this difference may be small or non-existant or difficult to tell...
It probably depends on the location/context/situation and who they are and how they do the approaching... (eg certain city areas or time can be more 'iffy' and concern for safety would be common sense)
Thread title says 'romantically' - now you speak of friendship... These are two different things... (Though they can sometimes be mixed up by either party)
It's easier if you get to know people through friends or a non-romantic and 'no pressure' context (like eg school/course/club/common interests) and through seeing them frequently etc I guess...
It probably depends on the location/context/situation and who they are and how they do the approaching... (eg certain city areas or time can be more 'iffy' and concern for safety would be common sense)
Thread title says 'romantically' - now you speak of friendship... These are two different things... (Though they can sometimes be mixed up by either party)
It's easier if you get to know people through friends or a non-romantic and 'no pressure' context (like eg school/course/club/common interests) and through seeing them frequently etc I guess...
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
Romantically?
Ahh... usually with fear, as the only people who have done this were obsessed stalkers who'd been following me around for months and digging through my garbage and...well... you get the point.
XD
Oodles of fear.
Ahh... usually with fear, as the only people who have done this were obsessed stalkers who'd been following me around for months and digging through my garbage and...well... you get the point.
XD
Oodles of fear.
@Feathers
I'm speaking about people who approach you for romantic reasons. I agree it's subtle sometimes. But when someone approaches you that you don't know without anything specific to ask, it's usually romantic. Even when they don't say it in a direct manner, but sometimes they do.
As I mentioned I want to make friends and I definitely want to date people, because that is something I virtually never do because of the reasons I listed. I would want to understand why I always have this response. I can't help it. It's not something that only happens in bad places, but virtually everywhere.
I just want to talk about it and share experience. What is yours?
I'm speaking about people who approach you for romantic reasons. I agree it's subtle sometimes. But when someone approaches you that you don't know without anything specific to ask, it's usually romantic. Even when they don't say it in a direct manner, but sometimes they do.
As I mentioned I want to make friends and I definitely want to date people, because that is something I virtually never do because of the reasons I listed. I would want to understand why I always have this response. I can't help it. It's not something that only happens in bad places, but virtually everywhere.
I just want to talk about it and share experience. What is yours?
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MrJones
Well-known member
Usually I don't even notice. I need a "romantic detector", it would be not the first time that a "friend" comes to me after talking with a girl and says "what's wrong with you! (girl's name) likes you!" and me "...What?".
Funny thing, it seems that sometimes I approach romantically to women too. I don't even notice, I just try to be nice, but when I want to leave she's like "Why is this all about if you wanted nothing?" (this don't happened often as I'm afraid of talking to women >.<).
LOL
I cannot aproach women intentionally, when I do it means nothing and when they do I don't notice. Another reason why I never had a girlfriend
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Funny thing, it seems that sometimes I approach romantically to women too. I don't even notice, I just try to be nice, but when I want to leave she's like "Why is this all about if you wanted nothing?" (this don't happened often as I'm afraid of talking to women >.<).
LOL
I cannot aproach women intentionally, when I do it means nothing and when they do I don't notice. Another reason why I never had a girlfriend
::
Srijita52
Well-known member
Doesn't happen a lot.But when someone do approaches I become very suspicious & fearful.My heart beats fast & I want to get away as soon as I can as I know that something's gonna go wrong.The other person immediately notices what a big loser I am & looses all interest in me.
MrJones
Well-known member
When I notice it this happens to me too. Heartbeat, sweat, red as a tomato... lol they never stay XD
Mickery
Well-known member
PHP:
Have you had a lot of conclusive proof that this is what happens? They voiced their thoughts to you, etc?
Srijita52
Well-known member
I know,its really frustrating & I hate it!I wish there was some way to stop this...
Srijita52
Well-known member
A couple of time a met some new ppl & I heard them asking my friends things like,'Is she okay?Is she getting what we're talking about?' or 'Why is she so cold?!!'