How important is appearance?

[worrywort]

Do you think it's wrong to spend too much time, energy and money on your appearance? If so, how much is too much?

Sometimes I think, it doesn't matter how people appear, it's what's inside that counts. But then other times I feel like there's actually a lot of information that can be conveyed through our appearance, so maybe it is quite important.

In job interviews, for instance, how you choose to present yourself is a quick way of communicating to the employer what your intentions are, which, to me, seems like a helpful thing. So shouldn't this idea extend to all of life? If the way we present ourselves doesn't reflect who we truly are, then wouldn't that just make it harder for other people to figure us out? Aren't we doing other people a favour by making sure our appearance accurately reflects who we are inside?

Also, sometimes, when my friends and family are looking good, it makes me feel more proud of them, and in turn, makes me want to look my best so that they can be proud to be seen with me too. But is that a wrong desire to have?

There's also the fact that having an appealing appearance can often open a lot of doors for you in life, whilst also making you feel a lot more confident about yourself. Are these things bad things?

How much time, energy and money do you put into your appearance?

EDIT: some more questions for anyone who's interested;

1. What do you think of the fashion industry? full of pretentious, vain, time and money wasters, or a geuinely beautiful, artistic expression of our humanity?

2. Have you ever looked at rows and rows of houses, all with the same bland, generic, style, and wondered why people don't decorate their homes more imaginatively and colourfully? If so, why do you think that is?

 

[kihira]

How much time, energy and money do you put into your appearance?

Well...I like to feel comfortable in the clothes I wear, I never wear a tie except for job interviews, I didn't even do that for my current job. I hate suits. I like to be well groomed and clean, I dont like the feel of my hair or nails when they get long, but I do like a bit of face stubble. Ironing is a waste of time and elecricity and I'll do it only when necessary (deviates to personal theory on ironing: If you iron clothes they only go wrinkly again, yet crumpled clothes flatten out naturally as you wear them. hmmm...) Umm..where was I? I dont use any face cream type gunk and think that cosmetic companies have duped people into believing they need all that expensive stuff. I dont use cologne/aftershave as I gag when I smell strong perfumes etc. I do invest in teenager-strength deodorant. I love a natural, unfussed, healthy look in people. I'm astonished at the length of time it takes the women in the house to do their hair. Thats all.

 

[Toomuchfear]

I think it depends on what person you are. I for instance, will find more confident in trendy clothes, a nice haircut.. the more happy I feel in my appearance, the better I will feel overall. I think it's beneficial for SAers

I am so glad I'm not a woman though, it must really annoying to spend so long choosing outfits, make-up, hair straightening etc!

 

[gazelle]

Well whether we like it or not human beings are beauty oriented creatures .And the way that we wear clothes does influence strangers on what they think about us.
I've also read that it's good for poeple with low self esteem to wear clothes that make them feel more attractive.Of course appearance is important to some degree, but I think it's also wrong to spend too much time and energy on it, because as soon as you get to know someone a little bit more I suppose it's what's beneath their skin that makes them attractive, not the way they look or the clothes that they wear.

 

[Darryl]

A young wise Coyote once said:-

I just gave someone some advice that I think holds true in any situation:

never wear a striped shirt with plaid shorts.


Coyote is also bringing tiara's back into fashion, so watch out for it in Milan next season!

 

[Mickery]

I have to dress up to feel confident and have to dress down to avoid the attention that comes with dressing up and feeling confident.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

It's not wrong at all. But there is a balance factor. When appearance becomes too obsessive - to a point of perhaps even BDD or narcissism that can be an issue. But usually not the case, esp the latter.

But I always feel better when I'm groomed, wearing something I like AND feel good in and have a nice haircut and etc.

 

[coyote]

Coyote is also bringing tiara's back into fashion, so watch out for it in Milan next season!

it's important to properly coordinate your tiara with the rest of your ensemble

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

People should spend how ever much time and money as they feel comfortable with.

I dress very casually. I hope that conveys to people that I am a fairly easygoing, informal kind of person, so yes I think the way we dress and our appearance does communicate to others the kind of person we are.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

It's also the energy you put out with the dress. I've seen ppl wear very silly things - but they WEAR it. It's them. You just get that after a little bit - and don't think twice then. So comfortable in what you wear will be comfortable in yourself. That's what really shows.

 

[navierstalks]

I have to dress up to feel confident and have to dress down to avoid the attention that comes with dressing up and feeling confident.

I used to worry about this so much that it would often be a complete impediment to leaving the house. I would just stand in front of the mirror trying to convince myself that I looked like a functional human being who doesn't stand out from the crowd.

Recently, I've realised that projecting confidence just isn't me. When I used to dress confidently I found that I was actually intimidating to people (imagine that!) which would preclude me from being approached by others. Now that I've started to dress like the nerd that I am, all sorts of people will occasionally try to make my acquaintance.

Obviously I realise that for many of the people here, being approached is not at all desirable, but for me, this technique has helped me avoid my severe approach anxiety.

 

[carecrab]

important for the first impression(s)
after that it's your attitude.

 

[Ryguy2598]

However important you make it

 

[carecrab]

However important you make it

true, however there is a basic level of.. not so much appearance as hygiene is important. what style you were doens't matter but you should look like you can take care of yourself

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

I've become so withdrawn that my own appearance has become trivial to myself.

 

[alwaysrunning]

i put a lot of thought into what i wear everyday, although there are some days in which i could care less if im wearing a potato sack. I feel invisible most of the time thus when i get complimented by ramdom strangers on how i dress it makes me feel somewhat relevant. In terms of physical appearance while i dont care much about how others look (overweight, pudgy, chunky--to a certain extent) i set different standards for myself. Since i know ill never be a 10 nor do i aim for that, i settle for a 7 and thus i feel that if im not under a certain weight i will not be "averagely attractive". Right now im four pounds over that standard =/ and i know it sounds ridiculous but i feel horrible...

Appearance shouldnt matter, but the truth ios that society does function and relate in terms of appearance and physicalities. People arent initially attracted to someone else because they're personality was beautiful but rather because. As moderatly intelligent people we perceive these notions of the importance of appearnce and internalize them, most of the time by setting even stringent notions of them upon ourselves. Felling adequate when we live up to them and failures when we dont. Appearance is one one of the stupidest but at the same time most important structural foundations that our society has built and that we blindly follow and participate in.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

It is important to some degree, personally I dress rather slobby, but, since I rarely leave the house it doesnt matter to much to me. I dress up a little when I go out but now, Ive lost a good amount of weight, so I need to buy some new clothes, most of clothes now look very shabby.
As far as having doors open for you, yeah thats nice, but you dont everyone to do everything for you right? No matter how nice you look you still need to be able to do things for yourself.

 

[Minty]

Even if you work really hard to express who you are through your appearance, no two people are going to interpret the way you look the same way. Someone might find you open-minded and creative because you have a bunch of tattoos, for example-- others might find them stupid or offensive. In the end, you should just do what makes you happy and the right people will find you whether you look like a hobo or a super model.

Hygiene is important though, no matter who you are.

 

[worrywort]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Here's some random thoughts I have on the matter;

I think a person's motivation for spending a lot of energy on their appearance makes a big difference;

RIGHT
• When a child dresses up in costumes made from all kinds of cheap household items, it's a beautiful thing. They're having innocent fun, trying on different idenities, discovering who they are.
• When an adult does the same thing, they may get a few funny looks, but in principle I still think it's a beautiful thing; dressing up, trying on different identities and exploring our personalities.

WRONG
• But when an adult spends a long time dressing up, worried because they're terrified of people's opinions, and they want to look "just right", with the latest designer brands etc, so that no-one can criticise them, this would be wrong.
• Also when an adult spends a lot of money on clothing so that they can appear to be of high status, making others think that they are wealthier than they really are, this would be wrong.
• Also when an adult deliberately dresses up as identities that reflect a personality that is not really their own, this can be wrong. It's a little trickier. It depends. Basically I think you can lie through your choice of appearance.

RIGHT
• When a child wears outrageously bright, colourful clothing of all kinds of exotic, imaginative, materials, for the pure fun and joy of it, and stands out for doing so, this is a beautiful thing.
• When an adult wears outrageously bright, colourful clothing of all kinds of exotic, imaginative, materials, for the pure fun and joy of it, and stands out for doing so, again, in principle, I still think this is a beautiful thing.

WRONG
• But when an adult wears outrageously bright, colourful clothing of all kinds of exotic, imaginative, materials, because they're attention seeking and have an inflated sense of ego and entitlement, this would be wrong.

I think the conclusion I'm closing in on, is that we really can't judge others for what they wear. Two people can wear the same clothes for totally different reasons, good reasons and bad reasons. But we can make sure our own motivations are in check.....I haven't really answered my original question, but oh well! :/

 

[Apple Strudel]

It is ok, but not to the point of being narcissistic.