The fiftth year an college and no sex

[commenter39]

So what do you say about it? I realize i m missing something don't you think? Of course it s not the biggest problem in my life but i could not manage to have an eperience.

 

[matthew_]

This is not abnormal at all if you have social anxiety/phobia. Hell, even some people without it don't start until much later than the norm.

 

[dyingtolive]

alcohol Lol

 

[matthew_]

I get that need of getting it out of the way however, at 27 I actually feel a bit guilty for never being someone accessible enough to actually make it a reality. Being a male, it's kind of hard, because you generally have to be the one who makes the first move, be the confident one, etc.

 

[Feathers]

Well, also congratulate yourself for having missed stds, abortions/miscarriages, possibly quarrells, paying child support or any such 'fun' things!! Okay, I'm evil, sorry!! But there are girls out there who will APPRECIATE that you didn't just sleep around with anyone drunk enough to do it with you (and if you're not indiscriminating, there are plenty!!!)

If you do want to do something about it, focus on getting to know people, widen your circle of friends/acquaintances, there's lots of info online and in books too...

There are some girls who are brave enough to do the first step too, usually it works better if a guy is the one to approach first, yeah.. So just look around, do any girls look at you friendly and smile?

 

[matthew_]

Well, also congratulate yourself for having missed stds, abortions/miscarriages, possibly quarrells, paying child support or any such 'fun' things!! Okay, I'm evil, sorry!! But there are girls out there who will APPRECIATE that you didn't just sleep around with anyone drunk enough to do it with you (and if you're not indiscriminating, there are plenty!!!)

If you do want to do something about it, focus on getting to know people, widen your circle of friends/acquaintances, there's lots of info online and in books too...

There are some girls who are brave enough to do the first step too, usually it works better if a guy is the one to approach first, yeah.. So just look around, do any girls look at you friendly and smile?

Sure! But there is a world of pain in between a smile and getting to know someone.

 

[Feathers]

Sure! But there is a world of pain in between a smile and getting to know someone.

Told ya there are books and online sites that give tips, look around

Also joining a club or organisation, or eg Toastmasters or such might help - a place where girls go to as well.. So you can start talking about topics that interest you both first, and then maybe take it from there..

 

[matthew_]

Told ya there are books and online sites that give tips, look around

Also joining a club or organisation, or eg Toastmasters or such might help - a place where girls go to as well.. So you can start talking about topics that interest you both first, and then maybe take it from there..

Step1: Get to a point where that is possible.
Step2: Take advice.

 

[userremoved]

I guess if you wanna get out and meet people of similar interests you can try this site here Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup. I signed up too but I still have a hard time working up the courage to get out and meet complete strangers. Plus I'm finding out that my city has VERY few people with similar interests. I guess maybe I should change my interests?

 

[lurknomore]

I guess maybe I should change my interests?

I know you were joking, but you could always try new things and possibly pick up some new interests in addition to your current ones... although trying something new at the same time as meeting new people might be a little daunting...

 

[userremoved]

I know you were joking, but you could always try new things and possibly pick up some new interests in addition to your current ones... although trying something new at the same time as meeting new people might be a little daunting...

I wasn't joking o.o I have very strange and somewhat boring interests. Its the reason I've always had a hard time relating to peers. But yeah I know what you mean. I joined this one group that goes out and does different things but each one is something I'm confused about. Last week was baseball, but Ive never watched a single game and today is strawberry picking. I'm sure I'll be standing around awkward and confused trying to figure out what to say.

 

[Feathers]

Hm, I don't know how you can go wrong with strawberry picking? Unless you have a bad back, or other trouble picking strawberries, or an allergy or just don't like strawberries? (It can be a bit boring then..)
Also depends if you go to an organic strawberry farm or not.. (not sure if I'd dare to eat non-organic straight up lol) The above can also be topics of conversation maybe then (eg half my family is allergic to strawberries but I totally adore'em!! lol! Not such a fan of picking'em tho, lol, to be honest)

Maybe it's a group for trying out new things? (Or has different sponsors? ) You could re-sell the strawberries more expensively to your family/neighbours/co-workers maybe?

You're lucky to even HAVE a meet-up group where you live!! We don't have much choice in the whole country!! There are some local organisations though, and people have proved to mostly be quite nice.. (mostly quite older though.. except for the sportsy things) It really depends where you live and how far you are willing to travel.. There are some awesome things happening elsewhere at times that are rather inconvenient for transport back home then.. If you know someone in that town/city you can maybe sleep over though, or if you team up with someone for a car share or such.. It's easier to go to things where you already know at least one person, yeah.. Or to go with someone also interested or willing to give it a try...

 

[Johno]

I accept that you are joking about the sex...... I hope I am right...... I mean you went to college for an education primarily? Maybe you should focus on what you love doing and let the sex take care of itself......... My advice would be as follows, stick to your hobbies and passions, SEX often takes care of itself....

 

[matthew_]

I accept that you are joking about the sex...... I hope I am right...... I mean you went to college for an education primarily? Maybe you should focus on what you love doing and let the sex take care of itself......... My advice would be as follows, stick to your hobbies and passions, SEX often takes care of itself....

Not always.

 

[Johno]

True, not always, but often if you are in the right frame of mind, (head space), (confidence), ignorance, self love, prayer and meditation..................

 

[MrJones]

I'm finishing my second year and I think this isn't going to change while in college. But you shouldn't think about it very much, it's very usual, especially for someone with SA.

 

[Kiwong]

I never had sex at University, still haven't had sex. I did graduate with high distinctions and found employment as a result.

 

[MrJones]

I never had sex at University, still haven't had sex. I did graduate with high distinctions and found employment as a result.

That's what Universities are for, good for you

Some people are there just to live the "American Pie" experience

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Step1: Get to a point where that is possible.
Step2: Take advice.

Amen to that.

 

[Shant]

I don't see a problem with it, although I do only have one year in college and I don't care for sex anyways.

Most other people don't care if you just tell them you're not looking for anyone, so the guilt thing shouldn't be a problem, but I don't have the right to go telling other people their sense of guilt is false.