Is it wrong to date a girl younger than yourself?

krs2snow

Well-known member
^^^Thanks for clarifying!! Sorry I misunderstood! I thought u were saying its legal in America at age 16 and didn't want pple to think this because some states the age is 17 or 18.
 

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
As far as I know, most people in Europe don't make a big stink about that age gap. Sixteen is the age of consent in most European countries. In the US, some would consider you a pedophile just for looking at a sixteen/seventeen year old. :rolleyes:
When I was around seventeen years old, I had boyfriends in their early twenties. I never thought the age gap between late teens and early twenties to be a significant one. However, you need to watch out. If you pursue a girl that age, and you engage in any sexual activity with her, her parents might get pissed off and turn you in.
 

AGR

Well-known member
I dont know,but growing up all girls in their teens had boyfriend in their twenties,they liked to think they were to mature for guys their age,but as far as I know only their bodies mature faster and thats what the older guys were after,I dont think mental maturity is measurable,it is also subjective,not saying its wrong,people start getting urges really young,its nature telling them its time to procreate,but its not that simple.........
 

panicsurvivor

Well-known member
Age gaps are not really set in stone. Four years give or take is literaly nothing when your my age. But at your age.......its a little more tricky. I think that it all depends on intention. You are saying that you don't want to have sex, if that is true then I don't think that there is any kind of problem. However a twenty year old trying to sleep with sixteen year olds... well if it were one of my daughters I would probably take said twenty year old for a little ride. But it also all depends on the people involved. You being twenty and her being sixteen, could be the perfect age difference, if she is mature and strong (emotionaly), and hasn't lived a sheltered life. It might be the perfect match. Coyote is right though, even if you don't intend to have sex, make sure to find out if you are legal. You really can get in a lot of trouble for this, if you are not careful.
 

Waybuloo

Well-known member
I can understand why girls want to go out with older guys, especially when they are teenagers, since (no offense), younger guys tend to be emotionally immature and irresponsible, not to mention only being self interested in fufilling their own needs. I was lucky I didn't date when I was at school or uni, cause I would've suffered more blows to my self esteem than already has. Here in the UK it's normal for teenage girls to have much older boyfriends. I don't see anything wrong with the age gap of 4 years as long as the girl is 16 and above, unless the guy is a predator who is after 'innocent' or nubile girls, but from your post I doubt you are one.
 

Waybuloo

Well-known member
I dont know,but growing up all girls in their teens had boyfriend in their twenties,they liked to think they were to mature for guys their age,but as far as I know only their bodies mature faster and thats what the older guys were after,I dont think mental maturity is measurable,it is also subjective,not saying its wrong,people start getting urges really young,its nature telling them its time to procreate,but its not that simple.........

Yeah I agree. Nature gives you puberty at an early age, say 12/13, by way of saying you are ready to reproduce. And in the age of our ancestors that is appropriate as we all died at like age 40 hence having babies young is the only way to regenerate in a timely manner. People probably matured way sooner as well in keeping with the biological and societal roles at a young age. However we've advanced way faster than our biology can keep up, (not to mention the hormones they put into food). When a young girl wants to have babies and make a family society tells her it's wrong and immature, that she NEEDS to get a career. Social structures are at loggerheads with our natural instincts.
 

Waybuloo

Well-known member
^^^Thanks for clarifying!! Sorry I misunderstood! I thought u were saying its legal in America at age 16 and didn't want pple to think this because some states the age is 17 or 18.

I don't understand why America is so contradictory. You have celebrity and pop culture sexualisinig society, then you wack on a high legal age. Is the country trying to torture young people?
 

Feathers

Well-known member
My mum used to say '5 years up or down' when she was looking for a partner/husband material and dad is almost exactly 5 years older than her :) Some couples have a bigger age gap, my grandpa was 10+ years older than Grandma, and his mom was about 35 years younger than her husband (which didn't work so well tho). Sometimes the age gap can be 'too big', it depends a lot on the people too... Usually, the society tolerates man being older than woman better, sometimes, it's even expected... I know some cases where the woman was older too, some of these worked, some didn't at all, or only for short-term and not longer.. Depends on the age difference, age and personality etc...

OP, even if you're not interested in sex 'right now', it may still be good to know the age in your country when it's okay, what if you or your girl would get interested? Or what if her family would just think you were doing things? So, it might be better to be on a safer side..

It also depends what kind of a person and relationship you are looking for... Some young girls can be more mature/grownup, some more 'silly'... It might be good to get to know a few and see how compatible you feel with them..
 

Feathers

Well-known member
I don't understand why America is so contradictory. You have celebrity and pop culture sexualisinig society, then you wack on a high legal age. Is the country trying to torture young people?

I agree with you, pop culture doesn't make sense sometimes...
See what happened to Britney anyway?? :eek:
 

A friend

Well-known member
My mum used to say '5 years up or down' when she was looking for a partner/husband material and dad is almost exactly 5 years older than her :) Some couples have a bigger age gap, my grandpa was 10+ years older than Grandma, and his mom was about 35 years younger than her husband (which didn't work so well tho). Sometimes the age gap can be 'too big', it depends a lot on the people too... Usually, the society tolerates man being older than woman better, sometimes, it's even expected... I know some cases where the woman was older too, some of these worked, some didn't at all, or only for short-term and not longer.. Depends on the age difference, age and personality etc...
...and also if the girl is crazy or not.


OP, even if you're not interested in sex 'right now', it may still be good to know the age in your country when it's okay, what if you or your girl would get interested? Or what if her family would just think you were doing things? So, it might be better to be on a safer side..

Premarital sex violates my religon...

It also depends what kind of a person and relationship you are looking for... Some young girls can be more mature/grownup, some more 'silly'... It might be good to get to know a few and see how compatible you feel with them..


I don't know why, but this morning I thought about the weirdest things. I noticed how almost every girl that I was interested in turned out to be mean, really strange, heavy drinkers and stoners, or just really crazy...

:|
 
I remember when I was 17, I was dating a girl who was 14. I felt like the biggest creep ever. I didnt admit to anyone that I was dating her. eventually her age just got to me and I called it off. She definitely didnt look 14 lol.
 

A friend

Well-known member
I don't understand why America is so contradictory. You have celebrity and pop culture sexualisinig society, then you wack on a high legal age. Is the country trying to torture young people?

No, America isn't trying to torture young people. America is trying to torture everyone who lives in the country.
 

Illusions

Well-known member
I'm sure most people don't have a problem with it (myself included). It's very common for the male to be the older one in couples anyway. I guess the age gap is more daunting when you're in your teens, just make sure she's not underage/jailbait. ::p:
 

Frazy91

Active member
I got called a paedophile when i was dating my gf while she was 15. Infact before i met her, i had a serious thing about not dating anyone under 16. But...if id have stuck to that, id never have met the love of my life. I wouldnt have the will to do anything and shes been there for me for the last year keeping me going.

So whenever people make remarks about the age difference, i just think its really shallow. Shes much more mature than plenty of adults i know. If you can hold off sex, and can deal with certain comments then theres no harm depending on the law in your state/country.
 
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