I'm in love...
- Thread starter Dr. Doom
- Start date
Looking_in105
Well-known member
Maybe you're not "in love" per se, rather you just feel so overwhelmingly happy that you found someone you can trust and that understands you.
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
I have to say that I'm happy to hear that you're in love because it's one of the most wonderful feelings a person can experience, but I have to admit that I was a shocked to hear that it's your cousin you're in love with. This goes against my principles and is more than just taboo in my culture. However, your feelings and choices do not affect me or my family and although I'm tempted to judge, I'm trying not to. After all, it takes a lot of courage to openly admit to something of this nature and you must be in quite a conundrum so the most I can do is view this as objectively as possible.
If I were you, I would tread carefully with this. If you express these feelings to your cousin then it may very well push her away if she does not share your feelings. It could also create trouble in the family were they to find out. Although, most people have a sexual aversion to blood relatives, it is obviously not so with everyone. Some will argue that having such feelings is natural and marriage between first cousins is still legal in certain states. I've heard of and seen cases where siblings engaged in sexual relationships (no, I do not think this is natural). Also, I've heard that it's not uncommon for people to have sexual fantasies involving their siblings or even parents.
You could always bring up the topic of incestuous relationships and see how your cousin feels about it. Yet, there really is no nonchalant way of bringing up incest. If you feel a strong desire to pursue this and choose to do so, know that you could possibly ruin the relationship you already have with your cousin. I honestly don't know what other advice to give you, but I do wish you the best of luck.
If I were you, I would tread carefully with this. If you express these feelings to your cousin then it may very well push her away if she does not share your feelings. It could also create trouble in the family were they to find out. Although, most people have a sexual aversion to blood relatives, it is obviously not so with everyone. Some will argue that having such feelings is natural and marriage between first cousins is still legal in certain states. I've heard of and seen cases where siblings engaged in sexual relationships (no, I do not think this is natural). Also, I've heard that it's not uncommon for people to have sexual fantasies involving their siblings or even parents.
You could always bring up the topic of incestuous relationships and see how your cousin feels about it. Yet, there really is no nonchalant way of bringing up incest. If you feel a strong desire to pursue this and choose to do so, know that you could possibly ruin the relationship you already have with your cousin. I honestly don't know what other advice to give you, but I do wish you the best of luck.
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Well, there are threads and some info online about this or similar things... maybe do some googling.. There was a show on TV in our country a few months ago too... You could briefly mention you read an article about it/saw something on TV/online, and see her reaction? (It's good to have some info to talk about then - she may ask: 'What did they say'?)
My dad teased me that my coz and I would be 'perfect for each other', as we have some similar interests, but I don't share this.. In some ways maybe, in some ways no.. So even if you get along well, she may not share this view.. Maybe try to find someone who is similar to her or to your view of her? (Maybe you don't even know the real her and just like the idea of her? Especially if you see each other rarely, just for holidays or such?) Think about what things are important to you and see where she stands on those things..
Some people do get married or have relationships, I think the genetic risk for any kids would probably just not be very good.. (Though there are assessments for that too, if I remember it right...)
You may be just 'accustomed' to her due to familiarity, so it's easier to talk to her.. If you take time to get to know other girls/women and spend time with them on a repeated basis, you may realize that you can feel 'comfortable' around them too.. Do you see other women/girls on a repeated basis, eg through volunteering or dating or going clubbing/dancing etc?
I think for Christmas, it's better to be neutral and observe.. See what she's like.. Get to know the new her, find out if she's changed from last time you saw her... what she's interested in etc. Maybe she even has a boyfriend or a crush on someone? Or maybe you may find someone inbetween too?!!
My dad teased me that my coz and I would be 'perfect for each other', as we have some similar interests, but I don't share this.. In some ways maybe, in some ways no.. So even if you get along well, she may not share this view.. Maybe try to find someone who is similar to her or to your view of her? (Maybe you don't even know the real her and just like the idea of her? Especially if you see each other rarely, just for holidays or such?) Think about what things are important to you and see where she stands on those things..
Some people do get married or have relationships, I think the genetic risk for any kids would probably just not be very good.. (Though there are assessments for that too, if I remember it right...)
You may be just 'accustomed' to her due to familiarity, so it's easier to talk to her.. If you take time to get to know other girls/women and spend time with them on a repeated basis, you may realize that you can feel 'comfortable' around them too.. Do you see other women/girls on a repeated basis, eg through volunteering or dating or going clubbing/dancing etc?
I think for Christmas, it's better to be neutral and observe.. See what she's like.. Get to know the new her, find out if she's changed from last time you saw her... what she's interested in etc. Maybe she even has a boyfriend or a crush on someone? Or maybe you may find someone inbetween too?!!
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DespairSoul
Well-known member
Hello Frank,
My advice is dont give those relation to much hopes. Is family and better will be if u will look around for someone else. You can understand with her perfect and have a lot common but please only just like with family nothing more. Isnt mean if she is nice and she understand u well and the same about u is something more behind this relation. I think u are longing be with someone and u give in this to much hopes. Hopes are beautiful but try put them in something more realistic..
U can be later dissapointed if u find out she was only frendly because she likes u like a cousin nothing more. Better as broken heart is search for love and be alone till u dont find this real person with wich u will share this wonderfull feeling. Dont let your desire grow up to much because is not good for you. U can hurt more people as make happy. Ofcourse i was hearing about some cases like that cousin was with cousin, brother with sister but always will be not natural. Trought many many cultures if u look forward was more then less of those families incest. My head just dont take it this i believe u can have feelings about her but does she about u?Remember that will be more than complicated relation and if u are sensitive and have SA even much more only because u are not in good psychic condiotion can make u feel even worse after some time. People will gossiping and family will be hurted. U are prepared for those pressure?Do you are enough strong go trought after-affects?
My advice is dont give those relation to much hopes. Is family and better will be if u will look around for someone else. You can understand with her perfect and have a lot common but please only just like with family nothing more. Isnt mean if she is nice and she understand u well and the same about u is something more behind this relation. I think u are longing be with someone and u give in this to much hopes. Hopes are beautiful but try put them in something more realistic..
U can be later dissapointed if u find out she was only frendly because she likes u like a cousin nothing more. Better as broken heart is search for love and be alone till u dont find this real person with wich u will share this wonderfull feeling. Dont let your desire grow up to much because is not good for you. U can hurt more people as make happy. Ofcourse i was hearing about some cases like that cousin was with cousin, brother with sister but always will be not natural. Trought many many cultures if u look forward was more then less of those families incest. My head just dont take it this i believe u can have feelings about her but does she about u?Remember that will be more than complicated relation and if u are sensitive and have SA even much more only because u are not in good psychic condiotion can make u feel even worse after some time. People will gossiping and family will be hurted. U are prepared for those pressure?Do you are enough strong go trought after-affects?
DanFC
Well-known member
kihira
1
As already said, to reveal a romantic attraction to your cousin would most likely push her away. So dont. Explore this new found feeling and switch it from romantic love to friendship love. You can keep this friendship for a lifetime.
Lord Baltimore
Well-known member
Anybody seen that episode on That 70's Show where Eric makes out with his cousin?? hahaha hilarious. On a serious note, good luck to you man and i'm glad you found someone
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
The cousins-thing is taboo some places, other countries it's not a concern.
The last I heard is that if a cousin-couple chooses to have children there is a 5% chance of something like Down Syndrome happening.
Lots of jokes about cousins hooking up, but it's mostly based on made-up "facts".
The last I heard is that if a cousin-couple chooses to have children there is a 5% chance of something like Down Syndrome happening.
Lots of jokes about cousins hooking up, but it's mostly based on made-up "facts".
I don't think there's something wrong with having a relationship with a relative perse. Though, kids through intercourse are of course out of the question. But that could be solved with adoption if the people in question were desperate. The only real problem you'd face is what others think. Which is a pretty bitter pill to swallow, I reckon, but achievable with due dedication.
It sucks to hear that it didn't work out for you, Frank. But, I don't think you're an idiot. Just be glad to have felt good for a little while (as little consultation as that might be). At least she's happy, that's something to be glad for, right?
It sucks to hear that it didn't work out for you, Frank. But, I don't think you're an idiot. Just be glad to have felt good for a little while (as little consultation as that might be). At least she's happy, that's something to be glad for, right?