Are attractive people more difficult to talk with?

[Social_Monstrosity]

Of course, I struggle conversing with ANYONE, but its with nice looking people where I truly choke. I always get the feeling that they're thinking, "God...what is this ugly, awkward loser doing talking to ME?!". Even today at the gas station, the girl at the cashier was really cute and she asked me if I needed anything else and I ****ing stuttered for like 5 seconds. UGH.
I think this stems from when I was in middle school and the popular/"hot" students would endlessly mock me for my weight and quietness...pretty much RAPING my self-esteem to this day.

I just want to meet one person who I don't find intimidating and will accept my SAD. =/

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, definitely.

Though the funny thing is that some beautiful/cute people are actually really nice..
I know a girl or two who are really beautiful and they have a husband/partner that is really 'duh?' (nothing special) So I think some beautiful people really do look 'with the heart' and not just 'the outside' eyes..

I am terribly awkward with anyone I liked even remotely though, most of the time.. iRL or online, if the guy is too cute or I have a crush, sometimes I just don't know what to say.. Or might say something really silly/cheezy.. So if I think others might be like me too, actually it may be easier even for beautiful girls to talk to someone more 'normal'.. (I'm not in the 'supermodel' category lol..) Some beautiful girls can be shy or nice too..

My Dad even RECOMMENDS not to marry 'too beautiful' people (as others might make a better husband/wife & be more faithful etc - Mum frowns each time he says it though!!)
So, recipes for husband/wife differ!!

 

[spect01]

Only when I'm talking with girls.

 

[KiaKaha]

Yeah, for sure. I read somewhere that this is to do with 'projection' meaning that us normal looking folk (especially the ones who have SA) tend to think that attractive people are more worthwhile, or that they are in someway more superior. I think its all about putting things into perspective and not letting mental filters or distorted thinking affect the way we view things.

I mean, everyone has insecurities. Even the beautiful. Im pretty sure a lot of good looking people think that other people think that they are snobby, or unintelligent or whatever... and they probably get tired of people basing thier whole personality simply on the way that they look, rather than on the merit of who they are as people.

but still... its all easier said than done..

 

[vj288]

Well I think I'm less comfortable around confident and out going people, which may be a common quality in attractive girls. (maybe that's what makes them attractive? maybe). If a pretty girl is really shy I wouldn't have trouble, and if a less pretty girl was outgoing and gregarious it may send me back into my shell.

 

[BlackPuma]

Not attractive people by definition, but attractive people with a sense of arrogance I tend to choke up on. I try to be nice, and when someone isn't nice back there exists the chance of my self esteem just draining away.

 

[Felgen]

I used to be more afraid of saying something stupid in front of attractive girls, but I no longer worry about that. Work on your anxiety and this problem will improve.

 

[EasySkanking]

Yup, to me they are. Some good points made here already about that . Agreed

 

[Feathers]

Not attractive people by definition, but attractive people with a sense of arrogance I tend to choke up on. I try to be nice, and when someone isn't nice back there exists the chance of my self esteem just draining away.

Hm, in that case sometimes you can tease'em and they will succumb to your sense of humor and actually admire you for how 'communicative' or talkative you are happened to me, lol.

Some people admire you most if you are arrogant like them

I am still not sure around attractive guys or very arrogant people either, mostly I can at least fake disinterest, ha!

 

[Waybuloo]

I get really nervous around attractive guys. I might not even like them in that way but it's just like an instinct to fear their judgments of me. Maybe that means i'm subconsciously superficial?

I also fear that they are looking at my nose which I hate, and I sweat and blush and stutter and think 'stop looking at my nose'. I get less nervous if they have some flaw with their appearance in the conventional sense like pimples or something. I don't think any less of them but that just brings them down to my level lol.

 

[vichyssoise]

I would say so. And I don't even really mean attractive guys (I'm in a relationship) but rather, attractive girls because I feel so ugly compared to them. Although with guys I worry that if I don't say anything they'll think I'm boring but if I act friendly, they might think I'm flirting, and they would go 'ewww, this ugly chick flirts with me'.

 

[Rodney]

Not really, it is the same with everyone but I avoid the attractives more than I do regular or "ugly" people because my experience with the majority of attractive people is that they think they are better than you. I see it all the times in my labs. The attractive people always only talk to the attractive people and the normal or " ugly" people only talk to each other. When I go to labs I don't really feel like I fit in with either attractive, normal, or ugly. I just don't fit in with any of them.

 

[punklove]

Yeah talking to attractive people is always even more difficult for me.. as superficial as that seems.
I think it's because we instinctively presume that because they look good they think there better then us. It's intimidating.

 

[Feathers]

Not really, it is the same with everyone but I avoid the attractives more than I do regular or "ugly" people because my experience with the majority of attractive people is that they think they are better than you. I see it all the times in my labs. The attractive people always only talk to the attractive people and the normal or " ugly" people only talk to each other. When I go to labs I don't really feel like I fit in with either attractive, normal, or ugly. I just don't fit in with any of them.

Hm, this is actually not true, at least in my experience. Maybe it's different where you live..
There are really beautiful girls who have less attractive or even 'ugly' female and/or male friends and boyfriend/s... And I've seen attractive guys with nothing-special girlfriends too..

Maybe lab people are a special species though, I don't know many.

Mostly I agree people feel most comfortable with similar level of attractiveness...

Maybe if you start talking with people and just take them as 'people' (without regard to attractiveness, just pretend you're on a secret mission to see who's interesting, and who's not? or who could help you with a cool project? or something like that?) you could get to know them - start with people you might feel most comfortable with, nice/not-so-very attractive/extreme people.. (?)

If you get to know them, some beautiful people may turn out to be boring, some may turn out to be fun and cool.. I'd recommend to start with the 'less attractive' conventionally but such that are still interesting to you.. And in very small ways..

Oh and maybe you don't 'fit in' cause you're unique.. Original thinkers can be 1 in 100.000 or 1 in 1.000.000 and it may make connecting with others a bit difficult.. But then again, you don't have to be exactly the same to connect in meaningful ways.. Maybe some places can be more difficult to connect with people in.. And some easier.. Maybe the key is to just find those places?

 

[Anti Matter]

Basically when you think everyone else is more attractive than you yes it's difficult.

Weird I know but it's what I think when I'm in a social environment.

 

[chrisjurban]

yeah this happens to me. with ugly people i just goof around and say whatever is on my mind. i sorta think its because i feel better than them and theyll just accept whatever i say because thats the best they can get. but with attractive people, like my girlfriend, i have a lot of trouble being myself and talking to her. over time ive become more comfortable but im still not where i could be in a single day with an ugly person, truthfully.

 

[fitftw]

I'm attractive and I choke up talking to ANYBODY, hot or ugly...