Ever since I was like 6 1/2, I've been afraid of men [back then, it was older men]. When my mom got re-married, I was afraid to stay home alone with my stepdad. It's not like I actually had a reason for my phobia, he never did anything! But even from such a young age, I used to imagine how he was going to hurt me, I think I even thought he might rape me. As time went on, I began to focus on other men in my life, like my male swim coaches, my male teachers, etc, since I already trusted that my stepdad isn't going to do anything. During adolescence, I was always afraid to let my dad, my actual dad, to get close to me. You know, like the typical father's daughter? Yepp, didn't happen for me. I even didn't like when my dad would kiss me on the cheek [it's a Russian tradition to greet & say good-bye with kisses on alternating cheeks.] I think this may even be why I'm so distant in relationships. Does anyone else experience this or can give me some advice as to what the heck this is?
Irrational fear of males
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Lonelykitsune
Well-known member
I think i have this,probably becaus you hear all these stories of men who no-on would ever suspect turning out to be rapists,peados,serial killers,wife-beaters etc.
Also a lot of the boys in my area are assholes from the looks of it,but then again i never have spoken with them properly so i
shouldnt judge.But most of them slag me on th way to school to piss me off and thats really th only contact i have with mn outsid family.
I have never had a bad exprience,so i dont know why i think this way.Then again mn also treated women badly for 1000's of years,so maybe its my feminist side showing,i dunno.
I definetly think i should try to have a little more contact with boys to undrstand thm better since i go to an all girl school i really have no idea what their really like.Just need to get this presumption that all men are peados and rapists out of my head
Also a lot of the boys in my area are assholes from the looks of it,but then again i never have spoken with them properly so i
shouldnt judge.But most of them slag me on th way to school to piss me off and thats really th only contact i have with mn outsid family.
I have never had a bad exprience,so i dont know why i think this way.Then again mn also treated women badly for 1000's of years,so maybe its my feminist side showing,i dunno.
I definetly think i should try to have a little more contact with boys to undrstand thm better since i go to an all girl school i really have no idea what their really like.Just need to get this presumption that all men are peados and rapists out of my head
I don't fear all men. Just straight ones :/
westminster
Active member
Men are inherently scared. Forever worried over status and ability and money. Consistently trying to one-up each other. I'm a man. Seeing friends often becomes an 'aren't I GREAT' competition!
Don't worry too much about us. Recognise bragging as insecurity and treat it with the mixture of compassion and contempt it all deserves!
That said, any inappropriate sexual activity is utterly wrong and isn't an irrational fear. Although most men are all talk, talk, talk, and this is okay (if annoying!) anything geuinely inappropriate should be penalised in the strongest possible ways. Happily, most men - me included - find such behaviour abhorrent.
Don't worry too much about us. Recognise bragging as insecurity and treat it with the mixture of compassion and contempt it all deserves!
That said, any inappropriate sexual activity is utterly wrong and isn't an irrational fear. Although most men are all talk, talk, talk, and this is okay (if annoying!) anything geuinely inappropriate should be penalised in the strongest possible ways. Happily, most men - me included - find such behaviour abhorrent.
Darker Than Black
Well-known member
I have intense fear of girls...I'm so lonely
Interesting. So do you think this fear of males is in addition to your social phobia, or is your social phobia in actuality, a fear of males? They are similar in the fear of people respect, but GSAD is general and fear of males is specific, unless of course, theres a general fear underlying your fear of males. Do you think this is possible? Could there be something you are afraid of, which for whatever reason, only males can cause to happen?
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Walk
Well-known member
Good topic.
I actually wonder why so many women talk so badly about most men sometimes. Not all females of course, but MANY. I'll be fully honest here.
I think the basic message we get from many women is that men are somehow much more inclined to be evil people. Don't know why. Women are just as immoral as men, shit. Even female sexual predators are currently becoming more and more widespread.
I like good people, period. Don't care if it's male or female. Don't judge me too quickly and I won't do it to you either.
I actually wonder why so many women talk so badly about most men sometimes. Not all females of course, but MANY. I'll be fully honest here.
I think the basic message we get from many women is that men are somehow much more inclined to be evil people. Don't know why. Women are just as immoral as men, shit. Even female sexual predators are currently becoming more and more widespread.
I like good people, period. Don't care if it's male or female. Don't judge me too quickly and I won't do it to you either.
dark_horse
Well-known member
I fear women with too much attitudes. If that makes you feel any better
Same thing. Women with strong personalities shares the shit out of me.
Go to a few psychologists and get a professional opinion or do some google searches and read some articles. Dont take anyones word for it here. IMO, when others throw out ideas it may be more damaging. No one here is a professional and alot of them are being too conclusive. IMO whatever it is, you can outgrow it with the right kind of understanding and determination.
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Yeah I fear males sometimes too, its mostly voilent males. I dont FEAR females cause I know they arent as dangerous, though I am uncomfortable around them alot of the time.
Im also not used to being close to a female in a loving way, so thats another part of me that I struggle with. But all these problems I try not to obsess about them. When you overanalyze everything you make it worse.
By the way, I am a male.
Im also not used to being close to a female in a loving way, so thats another part of me that I struggle with. But all these problems I try not to obsess about them. When you overanalyze everything you make it worse.
By the way, I am a male.
That looks totally fake.
yuletide with bleach
Active member
Can I ask why? I am female and pretty solid because I had to learn to deal ... A lot of girls have self esteem issues , you know... That saddens me I don't know why they should be scared or feel unstable more. Girls are passive more because they are sort of like guys with mild SA. A lot of them are anyway. Even if they seem talkative there is always something they could be doing wrong because they are not cute enough....Too weird... Too perverted. Too intelligent.Same thing. Women with strong personalities shares the shit out of me.
It's madness. I'm p happy now that I'm really comfortable with myself. I think this all the time.
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I fear women with too much attitudes. If that makes you feel any better
I wouldn't say that I really "fear" women, but I am uncomfortable around most women, mostly because I just don't feel like I can relate to them and my views and lifestyle are so different from most of them. I get comfortable with males much more quickly and easily than I do other females.
I didn't mean to sound like I was generalizing- I guess I should have said that I seem to be different from most of the women I have gotten to know or at least had a lot of interaction with- like my mother, sisters, coworkers, etc. And I'm not sure about my views actually being shared by men, but a lot of them just seem to be more laid back and approachable in my experience. I think in my case, I just have an easier time around people that are different from me- like older, younger, male, different race/ethnicity, etc. I guess it leaves less room for me to compare myself to them or feel like I'm being judged.