what do you think of outgoing/chilled people?

[RedRibbons]

**This is NOT a thread directed toward ANYONE in particular!!** I just took the similar thread title because.. Well.. I wanted to show the opposite to this view that A LOT of people have. Not just ONE person.

Not every person is shy. And it seems that a lot of people put down the fact that a person is outgoing. It's looked at as a bad trait, on this forum.

Not everyone is going to be shy, and just because someone is outgoing, doesn't mean they don't have anxiety, or that they can't relate, or they've never felt the way you do. Outgoing doesn't mean someone doesn't give a shit, isn't sensitive or thoughtful, isn't willing to listen to you or relate.. etc. etc..

I honestly think that some shy, quiet, anxious people could handle having an opposite for a friend. Someone who is more outgoing, more willing to do stuff and get out there.. Why? Because to me it sounds like a lot of people here, who are shy/anxious/awkward and such want friends, and want to get out there and do stuff..

So maybe instead of putting down the fact that someone is outgoing.. You try and work up the courage to meet people who are at least a bit more outgoing than yourself. Getting through this anxiety, means work.

If it's really not your style to go out and do stuff and whatever.. Learn to accept that then, and quit putting people who are different than you, down (ex. people who are outgoing). There are a TONNE of people out there who want just as much to chill out, and do relaxing things.

It's nice to have a little balance in life. That's what's good. Balance. A bit of outgoing, and bit of relaxed! And you got yourself a cake!

About getting a job...
People hire people who are dedicated, friendly, and qualified (and whatever other trait that makes a worker good) to do the work. Yea, you might need to be confident and outgoing if you want to get into face-to-face sales.. It's sales though. That is ONE possible job out of all kinds!! And not all sales jobs are high pressure!

 

[BlackKids]

Totally, I dont mind outgoing people. Say there is a party going on near me I'm not bitter, I'm glad they are having a good time.

I used to think that having a girlfriend like me (SA) would be perfect. Not that it would be a bad think but I reckon an outgoing gal would be better, Push me to be more outgoing.

Most of the time Id realise that even if Im anxious I do and can have a good time with other people. I just like me own space

 

[sorrow1]

I agree, I consider myself fairly outgoing but I tend to do things on my own. Though I think outgoing people are great for shy/awkward people so long as they encourage them to follow what they like doing and not make them feel bad and dont make them feel forced to do activities they are not interested in or for the sake of them feeling less worthless and inferiour. everyone likes to do different things. some people prefer staying in and doing indoor stuff and that is fine. for those who like out doing outdoor stuff thatis also cool so long as thats what you wanna do.

 

[divethruhaze]

Edited post
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[RedRibbons]

But sometimes they really can't...

I know.. It's not only outgoing people who might not be able to relate though. It's anyone.. shy or outgoing, tall or short, silly or serious.. Anyone can relate.. And anyone can NOT relate.

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I just felt really frustrated reading all these responses about how outgoing people are this and that.. Outgoing is good.. And so is shy. Both qualities are good qualities to have. One is not better or worse than the other.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts guys. It's much appreciated to have some added ideas and reinforcement here.

 

[dooby-duck]

Some of the best friends I've had have been really outgoing. I found this to be a positive thing. Outgoing people tend to push you more to broaden your horizons and to try new things. They also usually have a variety of friends they can introduce you to.

 

[Kinetik]

It's weird. I'm half-chilled. There are certain aspects of life I take a definite back seat to, and yet other things rile me up so strongly that other people wonder if I'm insane. Definitely a loose cannon. I don't mind relaxed people as a whole, though. If you can get through your days without getting fired up over every little detail then more power to you.

 

[Squishy]

all of my friends are outgoing, probably cause i never make the first step... Except my best friend (who i met through another outgoing friend) who isn't shy at all anyway, just quieter compared to the others.


But sometimes they really can't...

So i think that its a good thing there are outgoing people out there cause if not, i would be totally friendless.

Same, most of my friends are outgoing, and I usually make friends through other friends because of that.

 

[Harleyq]

I'm envious of both outgoing and relaxed people. I have a temper so sometimes I wish I could just let things go. And I get along better with outgoing people because I'm so quiet. They're usually more talkative and more willing to initiate things so I feel more comfortable around them.

If our personalities mesh, of course.

 

[tired_of_starting_again]

I just wish I could be like them & how they must not think anything of being outgoing like they are.

 

[PennyLane]

I don't think badly at all of outgoing people, in fact I would like to be like them.

Every single person (except my mum) in my life is extremely outgoing and confident, if this wasn't the case we probably would never have spoken because im so quiet.

I might annoy people with this, but purely from my own perspective there doesn't seem to be many positives to being shy.

 

[Harleyq]

I don't think badly at all of outgoing people, in fact I would like to be like them.

Every single person (except my mum) in my life is extremely outgoing and confident, if this wasn't the case we probably would never have spoken because im so quiet.

I might annoy people with this, but purely from my own perspective there doesn't seem to be many positives to being shy.

I don't think so, either. I think there are positives from being introverted, but being shy and/or socially anxious don't really carry positive traits, IMO.

 

[Jake123]

This is gonna sound weird but confidence turns me off. I find it ugly for some reason. IMO, modesty goes a long way. People who are so full of themselves annoy me, and I can easily see through the charades.

 

[PennyLane]

This is gonna sound weird but confidence turns me off. I find it ugly for some reason. IMO, modesty goes a long way. People who are so full of themselves annoy me, and I can easily see through the charades.

I think you can have confidence and modesty. One of the reasons Im not keen on the girl I live with is because I find she brags a lot and it doesn't come across as very nice. There other people I know who have self-confidence but they're not in your face or arrogant.

I think I would like self acceptance above anything else.

 

[redski]

This is gonna sound weird but confidence turns me off. I find it ugly for some reason. IMO, modesty goes a long way. People who are so full of themselves annoy me, and I can easily see through the charades.

This is borderlining to arrogance and that is one ugly tendency.

 

[redski]

I think you can have confidence and modesty. One of the reasons Im not keen on the girl I live with is because I find she brags a lot and it doesn't come across as very nice. There other people I know who have self-confidence but they're not in your face or arrogant.

I think I would like self acceptance above anything else.

PennyLane, I think those kind of people are in fact not confident.

 

[klytus]

This is gonna sound weird but confidence turns me off. I find it ugly for some reason. IMO, modesty goes a long way.

As PennyLane said, confidence and modesty don't exclude each other. Ideally, arrogance has not much to do with confidence. People who are arrogant severely overestimate their competence, and have undeserved confidence in themselves. Contrary to those who have demonstrated their abilities. Of course, in reality, it's always a fine line one at some point can't help but cross, since the display of competence is seen as arrogance by the more ignorant.

 

[zlench]

I don't really think anything badly of them at the end of the day there only interested in there own lives and not you know not ours so there's nothing wrong with them.

 

[Kiraz]

I have one friend who is extremely outgoing, even bouncy. When it comes to going out with her, I've learned that it's just not a good idea.

Having an outgoing friend can indeed be helpful, they can act as an icebreaker, and keep you in your comfort zone. But if they are not understanding or considerate of your anxiety's, then the outing can turn sour rather quickly.

Do I mind outgoing people? Not at all, but if they are irresponsible or inconsiderate to my needs, then yes, I mind it terribly.

BTW, I've just found my way here, and hopefulyl will be able to force myself to be active.

 

[Lonelykitsune]

Im just envious of them,but most i dont mind(but one did openly say she finds queit people very irritating)