most people are cruel

no1

Banned
people are just mean. I dont know exactly how to describe it. I dont know what exact word. they're just mean. the majority of people at least. u ask for help and they all give you a tough attitude.
 

Imhotep

Well-known member
My experience is that most people AREN'T mean. There's a definite few, but most people are indifferent at the very least.

I think a lot depends on how you treat other people. If you're nice to people, are respectful of their views and don't try to ram your opinions down their throat, they generally won't give you a hard time.

It also helps not starting a paranoid rant in chatrooms when people are trying to have a conversation.

Just my thoughts.
 

2Crowded

Well-known member
Because they only care about themselves usually...it's a dissapointing human trait in my opinion.
 

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
I find most people I meet to be relatively decent. But there are always a few rotten eggs that I tend to avoid.
no1, are you a highly sensitive person? I believe many people on this forum are. It would explain a lot.
 

Ashiene

Well-known member
most people, like maybe 80% are very nice, 18% are grumpy/annoying/rude/cruel, and maybe 2% are a little evil or truly evil. i think you have a very biased perception of society.
 

Anubis

Well-known member
"Most" is an exaggeration. But there a lot of rude people out there.

And you're not the only one who notices this. Even extroverted people are perturbed by the rudeness of others. It's a common human ailment. Some people can just bounce back from it better. I am not one of these people, but I want to be.
 

Satine

Well-known member
people are just mean. I dont know exactly how to describe it. I dont know what exact word. they're just mean. the majority of people at least. u ask for help and they all give you a tough attitude.

I'll echo that I don't find most people mean. However, this might be your subjective view of the matter: on here, you've been making the same point repeatedly. Perhaps people are getting bored of hearing the same complaint arise again and again and again? Even kind peoples' patience will wear thin if you repeat something enough times. Especially if you're being bigotted against them, (eg., against women').

EDIT:
The more I try to really open up my eyes and be objective, the more I see the decent people. Being paranoid or overly sensitive doesn't help. I think once we realize that all of us can be cruel from time to time, we will stop feeling victimized.

QFT. The less sensitive I became over time, the nicer people began to appear. It's surprising how much of it is in your own mind.
 
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Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
The more I try to really open up my eyes and be objective, the more I see the decent people. Being paranoid or overly sensitive doesn't help. I think once we realize that all of us can be cruel from time to time, we will stop feeling victimized.

Yes!
Actually, as I recall, no1, you said something to me once that I might consider intentionally hurtful. Something about my jumping on a dick?
Humans will be humans. Humans will not be Angels. We are capable of a many great evils!
 

no1

Banned
Maybe it's not that most people are mean, but surely when someone is being mean usually nothing is really said about them, and it all seems to show that people always support them.
 

Anubis

Well-known member
What are you talking about? Most people do not support mean people and a lot is said about people who are mean. Have you forgotten everything you've read on these forums?

I usually hate to be pessimistic, but no1 may actually be on to something. In fact, you may have inadvertently agreed with him in your response to me, heh.

Remember that girl who gave you the "evil" eye? Wasn't she closely walking with another person - presumably a friend? If she was so mean, then why would she have a friend?

It actually brings up a really great question. Why DO mean people still have friends? I can only think of one answer. It's because "mean" people have no problem communicating their desires and needs. They may anger some people, but they can just as easily create new friendships when they're willing. They're not bound by the constraints of shame and displeasure. You could say they're evil, but you could also call them very shrewd and unattached.

Social phobes, on the other hand, possess the antithesis of this behavior. They ARE bound by intense amounts of shame. More importantly, they are bound to a system of justice. If they don't feel like something is just, they try to fix it by implicitly alerting everyone about the breech in conduct. If that doesn't work, they call for help. And if that doesn't work, then they lose all hope in themselves and humanity, and shut-down. If the world lacks "justice", then they don't want to be apart of it (because of the high chance of getting hurt).

In summary, the mean person may piss off a lot of people, but their avenues of communication are still open for an eventual relationship. Also, the people who may hate them still respect them for leaving that line of communication open. It shows a level of openness and honesty, which is generally liked in social species. The social phobe, on the other, shuts down all lines of communication and denies himself the ability to create new friendships. He may be wronged, but to the outside, he looks cold and unapproachable.

It's a cruel turn-of-events (i.e. everything happens the exact opposite of what you'd think), but it's frustratingly logical.
 
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Lea

Banned
most people, like maybe 80% are very nice, 18% are grumpy/annoying/rude/cruel, and maybe 2% are a little evil or truly evil. i think you have a very biased perception of society.

It may be true - in your dreams.
 

Noca

Banned
Look at the cop population here, then you can say most of them are rude, why? well because they are, something you can find out in mere seconds of talking to one of them.
 

no1

Banned
I usually hate to be pessimistic, but no1 may actually be on to something. In fact, you may have inadvertently agreed with him in your response to me, heh.

Remember that girl who gave you the "evil" eye? Wasn't she closely walking with another person - presumably a friend? If she was so mean, then why would she have a friend?

It actually brings up a really great question. Why DO mean people still have friends? I can only think of one answer. It's because "mean" people have no problem communicating their desires and needs. They may anger some people, but they can just as easily create new friendships when they're willing. They're not bound by the constraints of shame and displeasure. You could say they're evil, but you could also call them very shrewd and unattached.

Social phobes, on the other hand, possess the antithesis of this behavior. They ARE bound by intense amounts of shame. More importantly, they are bound to a system of justice. If they don't feel like something is just, they try to fix it by implicitly alerting everyone about the breech in conduct. If that doesn't work, they call for help. And if that doesn't work, then they lose all hope in themselves and humanity, and shut-down. If the world lacks "justice", then they don't want to be apart of it (because of the high chance of getting hurt).

In summary, the mean person may piss off a lot of people, but their avenues of communication are still open for an eventual relationship. Also, the people who may hate them still respect them for leaving that line of communication open. It shows a level of openness and honesty, which is generally liked in social species. The social phobe, on the other, shuts down all lines of communication and denies himself the ability to create new friendships. He may be wronged, but to the outside, he looks cold and unapproachable.

It's a cruel turn-of-events (i.e. everything happens the exact opposite of what you'd think), but it's frustratingly logical.

You're absolutely right about the Justice part. In general people who are seen as those people who would stand for Justice are seen as weaker, or hated more than the ones who don't. why? because people in general when they say that 'the world is cruel, just deal with it" are basically accepting, and tolerate all the injustices in the world, and that means that at some level they have to in fact be complacent to it. Whereas the others who try to fight it will always find people that are against their nature simply because there are people who accept it and are in fact 'excited' or complacent of the cruelness of the world to the point that they actually come to support it, by saying 'that's the way life is' but unknowingly or knowingly implicating that it's the way the world should be and nobody should say anything about it because 'that's the way it will always be', and they get so used to it that it's become their comfort level and becomes a part of them.

And thus anyone who speaks out against wrong will ultimately usually because of the above I mentioned be ridiculed for 'being weak minded' and to 'stfu and deal with it'. Actually perhaps the speaking out IS the way to deal with it but people have to have such high standards and impossible ideals.


Actually... I think also a majority of the people who are rude were also inclined to fight against the harshness of the world but became fed up that they simply caved in and said 'no more mr. good guy/girl' and became cruel to fit in. Even if one was supposed to fight the injustices, that doesn't mean you have to simply abandon your good side.
 
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Septor

Well-known member
I'm really not sure if most people are cruel or we as humans and especially people with anxiety,tend to fixate more on the negative interaction with people,then the positive interaction with people.So we tend to remember interaction with the cruel people more then the interaction with nice people.Well at least that's how I I'm,I think.


That being said,I think I would say,there are lot more nice people out there,then mean people.Unfortunately all it takes is one mean person,to ruin someone day.
 

redmatter

Well-known member
Things aren't so simple. If you have trouble relating, or connecting with people, you'll be at a disadvantage. If you have a problem communicating with people, it's a small world. Considering humans are like animals, they roam in packs. If you're not "in" with the gang, you're something else. Something else isn't good, and it's talked about - and spread about. And opportunities shrink, and people laugh before they know ya. Then, it's difficult to understand why you're not in with the gang, and your mental follows. And your confidence. And you'll have trouble feeling comfortable, or welcomed, or respected, or getting a date, or keeping a job. And the world does in fact become a cruel one, where most people are cruel. Because when others agree with you, or you fit, you never know what it feels like to be isolated. And you join in on the fun.

You either get it or ya don't in my opinion.
 
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