most people are cruel

[Srijita52]

Define cruel...

 

[Kiwong]

"Why are people so unkind?" Kamahl once postulated.

 

[upndwn]

All people are capable of great cruelty, but also great kindness. It all depends upon the choices we make and how we would like to be perceived by others. For most being cruel to someone is to mark ones position in the social hierarchy or to show rejection or displeasure to another person.

Most of the time the cruelty shown are not personal, even though the comments and actions of the cruel person may seem so. Most people without a social disorder will quite easily ignore the cruel person and move on, but these things can worsen the condition of someone with low self-esteem or SA. it is an unfortunate part of our illness that we become oversensitive to critique and rejection. We also sometimes see cruelty in others where there is none, but we misread the signals.

People will be people and sometimes we say and do hurtful things to each other for many different reasons. The social rules of society are complex and hard to define. People with SA tends to misread those rules and some people may ostracize us for "breaking the rules". Of course there are always those that rejoice in cruelty just because they are a**holes.

 

[redmatter]

Most of the time the cruelty shown are not personal, even though the comments and actions of the cruel person may seem so. Most people without a social disorder will quite easily ignore the cruel person and move on, but these things can worsen the condition of someone with low self-esteem or SA. it is an unfortunate part of our illness that we become oversensitive to critique and rejection. We also sometimes see cruelty in others where there is none, but we misread the signals.

It's more than unfortunate, it can turn life into ground zero. I'm serious. I no longer accept the sensitivity theory though, to me it's intelligence. It's a talent for picking up the subtleties in the people around us. I'm not saying that I don't take things the wrong way, but I certainly understand what's happening in my environment.

 

[coyote]

the world is only how we choose to perceive it

 

[Mrs_shy]

I think they were bullied and they are scared of it happening again.

 

[KiaKaha]

We only take notice of what correlates with our expectations and beliefs. Thats why I am a pessimist. I dont know about cruel, but I think society is becoming more self centered and indifferent...particularly if people cant gain anything from knowing you.

 

[redmatter]

the world is only how we choose to perceive it

If it were only that simple. I want it to be so, but it just isn't the case for everyone. It really isn't.

 

[redmatter]

I think they were bullied and they are scared of it happening again.

This Yahoo! Answers? Not everyone understands social interaction the way most people do. It doesn't come natural to them. They experience things like loss of income, brutal-ending relationships and isolation by way of ridicule, because of these complexities and phobias. You learn to become cautious of people, rightly so. I would say maybe we're too perceptive of how people really are, and yes indeed, might bring out the very things we fear out of our constant worry. It's a real problem though, and there's more to it especially when you have other people working against you. Bullying... social gang bangs... people who don't work well with "different" people. Happens all the time.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

We only take notice of what correlates with our expectations and beliefs.

Quite true. Racism is a good example of this. White people who are racist against black people will take serious notice of stories of black people doing terrible things while paying relatively little attention to stories of white people doing terrible things. They then hold this up as 'evidence' of how terrible black people are in general. I see this all the time in my own family. The truth is it's always a minority of people of any ethnicity who do truly terrible things, and besides that people who do nice things don't get so many stories told about them.

As a rule, people come to conclusions for emotional reasons rather than logical or scientific ones, and will hold to these conclusions against logic. The same sort of thinking is what leads people to declare that 'most people are cruel'.

I think society is becoming more self centered and indifferent...particularly if people cant gain anything from knowing you.

Society isn't really becoming anything fundamentally different. People have been complaining about how society is going downhill and will soon collapse for literally thousands of years. People are people. Human nature remains fundamentally constant. To idealize the past is to project fantasy on to it.

 

[jujitsusam]

My experience is that most people AREN'T mean. There's a definite few, but most people are indifferent at the very least.

I think a lot depends on how you treat other people. If you're nice to people, are respectful of their views and don't try to ram your opinions down their throat, they generally won't give you a hard time.

It also helps not starting a paranoid rant in chatrooms when people are trying to have a conversation.

Just my thoughts.

I think you're right. a lot of people are very polite and nice. at the same time, i feel like most people go through life perpetually bored. so if you see someone walking on the street they might have a scowl on their face. but if you talk to them, they might smile and be nice