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Anyone Else Feel Slightly Retarded?
- Thread starter flakeybark
- Start date
dottie
Well-known member
yes, exactly that. when it comes to my output i feel mildly retarded. as a member of a crowd i can camoflauge myself but when i am forced to actually interact on a less superficial level than "hi, how's it going, thanks, wow, really, yeah, you too, hehe, bye," there's much left to be desired. although i have valid, logical thoughts, my output (body language + verbal communication) feels at the level of a 4 year old who wants to hide behind her mother's pantleg. the thoughts are there but the communication leaves me looking juvenile and ineffective. it's humiliating. people interpret my malfunction as retarded or inappropriately bitchy.
sometimes i wonder if i am bad at communicating because i watched too much television as a young child. it basically trained me to be a spectator while leaving the language/communication part of my brain unstimulated and stunted. maybe. or maybe i am just naturally retarded.
sometimes i wonder if i am bad at communicating because i watched too much television as a young child. it basically trained me to be a spectator while leaving the language/communication part of my brain unstimulated and stunted. maybe. or maybe i am just naturally retarded.
newbie
Well-known member
yeh i've felt like a retard alrite
like at work their use to be this hot lookin receptionist, the first time i started working their i got the courge to start a convo... all was good
but from their on (like everytime) i can't get myself to do it again
so when she would go hey....., i would be hey and leave it at that and i would also like look at her for a second without any emotion and say hey, and walk away
i really must of looked like a retard to her
the worst part is i was going to tell her i had sp so that she would understand but she got fired on the day i prepared to tell her
like at work their use to be this hot lookin receptionist, the first time i started working their i got the courge to start a convo... all was good
but from their on (like everytime) i can't get myself to do it again
so when she would go hey....., i would be hey and leave it at that and i would also like look at her for a second without any emotion and say hey, and walk away
i really must of looked like a retard to her
the worst part is i was going to tell her i had sp so that she would understand but she got fired on the day i prepared to tell her
CK23
Well-known member
Yea... me 2... Yesterday, during tea break one of my friends at the workplace offered me her tea...and i just stared blankly at her and didnt say anything... like my brain sort of freezed in the moment.. my heart went cold and i felt like i was desparately trying to hang on and stop myself from drowning... i felt touched but the anxiety got into me and made me choke... It wasnt another humiliation like in my school days cos she was very thoughtful and kind towards me... she didnt say anything rude and helped me gather myself... I still felt like a total dork and beat myself up about it afterwards...
Violaine
Member
I've felt and portrayed myself as mildly retarded many times. In an anxious moment, stuttering, fumbling words, going blank, and even becoming mute has happened to me. On rare occasions when i'm not all in my head i can even surprise myself by being articulate and can get my point across.
Generical
Well-known member
It defs doesn't make me feel smart when i mentally blank out from people trying to initiate a convo with me. I sorta have a few preset responses that i can throw out but anything remotely creative or actually interesting is pretty much a no-no. I'm always left wondering what the hell do people actually talk about but then i figure it's because i don't really do a whole lot so im not really gonna have anything to talk about. Well i know i need to get out more, i am a bit of a sad bastard no doubt but fuck..the only time i actually think shit i need to do something with my life is at work...oh and i suppose now. But when i get home i'm pretty much just staring at the wall untill dinnertime...well nothing more productive at least.
I need to try and get university sorted i'll go and do that for 5 minutes and then find myself on a website dedicated to the different smells of frogs or something equally as random..argh
I need to try and get university sorted i'll go and do that for 5 minutes and then find myself on a website dedicated to the different smells of frogs or something equally as random..argh
dottie
Well-known member
flakeybark said:
this happens a lot to me. it's like i am so consumed with anxiety that in the moment i experience nothing but the anxiety. i am just in cope-mode. then much later, when i am alone and myself again, it will occur to me that i was insulted. it stings and i experience shame and embarrassment for not being able to express those emotions effectively, when it actually mattered.
CK23
Well-known member
I can totally relate to what you just said... In high school a bully would slap me straight in the face, everyone would laugh and i would just stand there staring blankly like a toy soilder which could be thrown around at will... I felt so anxious during that whole episode that the feeling of being insulted and hurt never came across... It only hit me later and it was mixed with the regret of not having done anything when i was being insulted...I've also felt like a beggar in friendships... If someone is nice to me, i decide to except everything... They can ignore me for the whole day and i'd still say 'hi' to them with a smile like nothing happened... they could ignore my msgs, phone calls, even face 2 face interactions and i'd still put them on a pedestal.. i guess the scars i had in the past have made me behave like this... i've cried too long for love and care...
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
flakeybark said:
That is exactly how it is with me. I'll have so many thoughts in my head & things to say.... but when it comes to talking.. I just can't verbalize them. I end up feeling stupid (& making myself look stupid) in the process. It's why so many people think I am. & I'm actually far from it... it just doesn't show.
Ashiene
Well-known member
lol. i pretend to be retarded sometimes so people wont suspect i have SP. its a horrible thing to imagine telling people in real life i have SP so i lie alot in real life to cover up that i have some mental disorder they probably dont understand anyway. i give excuses that im lazy and stupid etc..
Riptor
1
When I had friends and we were all together they'd invariably gang up on me. I always come across as kind of an absent-minded simpleton, and they could pick up on that. They never failed to take the piss out of me. I always got little remarks like "You don't think much, do you?" or when they'd catch me zoning out "Not much going on in there is there?" Crap like that.
And I make obvious mistakes all the time that no one else makes because I'm never really paying attention. People can home in on that in an instant, and once they see you as the easy going idiot it's almost impossible to command respect again.
Eh, just one more layer of complexity to social anxiety that makes it all feel that much more hopeless.
And I make obvious mistakes all the time that no one else makes because I'm never really paying attention. People can home in on that in an instant, and once they see you as the easy going idiot it's almost impossible to command respect again.
Eh, just one more layer of complexity to social anxiety that makes it all feel that much more hopeless.