Would you stay in a job if nobody liked you

KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Would you continue to work in a job where nobody liked you? or made it quite clear that you were someone who was not wanted there?

This would be done by exclusion, not speaking to you, being dismissive, not looking at you or making you feel like you didn't fit in. Minimal interaction.

Would you stay? Or would you slog through...?

Personally I would quit. Which is what I am thinking of doing.

Lets not make this about me. Lets make this about you. What would you do...?
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
Find employment elsewhere first, then quit. To me, that's like flipping off my coworkers I don't get along with, figuratively speaking.
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
Would you continue to work in a job where nobody liked you? or made it quite clear that you were someone who was not wanted there?

This would be done by exclusion, not speaking to you, being dismissive, not looking at you or making you feel like you didn't fit in. Minimal interaction.

Would you stay? Or would you slog through...?

Personally I would quit. Which is what I am thinking of doing.

I reckon I would probably quit, life is to short to be that unhappy.::(:
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Kat

Kat

Well-known member
If they left me alone and I really liked the job I would stay but me liking it would have to outweigh them being rude but I’d try to find something better no point settling for something less when there’s more options.
 
Darkness_'82

Darkness_'82

Well-known member
Back in 2002 I was 20, and working as a part-time cleaner in a fish processing plant (stinking bastard place it was). There were lots of other cleaners there, so needless to say my stress/anxiety levels were pretty high. But it was a bit of extra money on top of the dole so I persevered with it.

People ignored me for the most part, but I could sense hostility towards me. Cos I was just that guy who wouldn't look at anyone, or wouldn't talk to anyone. One day, some younger guys gave me a hard time, so I ****ed off out to my car and drove away, and I was crying as well.

Never went back to that sh!thole. Anyone else would have told them to **** off, and just carried on, but not me. I was weak, still am. Don't know how I can change that. I think self-confidence plays a huge role. Build up confidence, become stronger.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
MikeyC said:
Already? You've been in the job for under a week! What's gone wrong?
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This is the part of my insecurity that you haven't seen yet Mikey. I don't think people truly understand how this kind of situation makes me feel, nor can I convey exactly the severity of my social phobia and how dramatic and adversely it effects my life.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
This is the part of my insecurity that you haven't seen yet Mikey. I don't think people truly understand how this kind of situation makes me feel, nor can I convey exactly the severity of my social phobia and how dramatic and adversely it effects my life.
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I'm sorry. ::(: I say just stick with the job and hopefully you'll get more comfortable in there and people will like you (if they don't already).
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I've worked places where people hated me for a couple of months before they accepted that I was going to be their co-worker for the long haul.

Some people are just territorial over their job and workplace-- threatened by anyone new who starts working and might be any better than they are at the same job.
 
9407

9407

Well-known member
No. I volunteered at the Salvation Army because you need volunteer hours to graduate. I could never work with those ***holes. They were rude to me because I was a young volunteer and if I had to work with those miserable idiots for a long period of time I'd probably end up punching someone.
 
N

Nathália

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
This is the part of my insecurity that you haven't seen yet Mikey. I don't think people truly understand how this kind of situation makes me feel, nor can I convey exactly the severity of my social phobia and how dramatic and adversely it effects my life.
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I really do get how dramatic it feels to be out around people like that. I'm sorry that you're already getting these deep feelings about it.

To anwser the question. My options would be

1. I would get a new job before I quit

2. I would challenge my thinking and then take the next action necessary.

If you really feel that people are ignoring you and are dismissing you, you have to keep trying and push buttons by trying to beat anxiety in the workplace. You're new there and sometimes it does take a while for newer people to fit in. It takes practice and time. Every time you get dissmissed you can't let it get to you or take it personally. I know it's hard, I really wish you happiness.


( I wouldn't care in some cases if I found it out to be true that the people didn't like me.)
 
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KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
ugh. I just wish it didn't have such an emotional effect on me.
The last time this happened I fell into such a pit of despair I barely managed to get out of it.
I don't know why it seems so much easier for some people than it is for others. Nor can I understand why people are so mean, cold and unfriendly to new people.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
ugh. I just wish it didn't have such an emotional effect on me.
The last time this happened I fell into such a pit of despair I barely managed to get out of it.
I don't know why it seems so much easier for some people than it is for others. Nor can I understand why people are so mean, cold and unfriendly to new people.
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I've gone to work depressed so many times I've lost count. I've found that the best thing to do is focus on the work and less on human interaction. My job is a bit more advantageous that way but I know that that's the best way for me. I will suffer through work, then when I get home I can wallow or do whatever in my own time.

Maybe that will work for you? I'm sorry it's already so difficult for you. Is it just because you're the new guy and everyone is judging you?
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
I went through hell for the first six months of the job I'm currently at and almost quit. In fact, it's the reason I joined SPW! I was trying too hard to be nice to people so they would like me, but they just ended up walking all over me. It wasn't until I finally started being more myself and not taking their crap that I began to fit in! Now I actually like going to work - go figure! Maybe try to show more of the humorous side of yourself that we all see (and love!), and I'll bet you become one of the more popular co-workers! :)
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
1BlackSheep said:
I went through hell for the first six months of the job I'm currently at and almost quit. In fact, it's the reason I joined SPW! I was trying too hard to be nice to people so they would like me, but they just ended up walking all over me. It wasn't until I finally started being more myself and not taking their crap that I began to fit in! Now I actually like going to work - go figure! Maybe try to show more of the humorous side of yourself that we all see (and love!), and I'll bet you become one of the more popular co-workers! :)
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Good on you for showing resolve and a strength of character to stick up for yourself!
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Man... I must just be weak.

Fitting in has never been my forte.... and it's the one thing that makes me fall into an almost unclimbable dark hole....the last time this happened it made me feel suicidal... dont worry though, It's not as bad as that this time, I am just trying to illustrate how much of a big deal it is to me.

I will stick it out...for now. I am just lucky it's the weekend. Sad thing is that one day I am going to have to go through this WHOLE process again. Is it any wonder why people get stuck in a rut with jobs that they hate... I think it's because people know that if they went out of their comfort zone they would be in the exact same position that I am in right now.

Why do people have to be so mean and unfriendly? Don't people care about how other people feel in new situations? I would TOTALLY make someone new feel welcome if I was already in an established working environment....rather than completely ignoring them and making them feel like they are not wanted there. Ugh... just thinking about how people react to my presence makes me feel queasy.

oops... I made this all about me.
 
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MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
the last time this happened it made me feel suicidal
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I'm sorry, man. ::(:

KiaKaha said:
Why do people have to be so mean and unfriendly? Don't people care about how other people feel in new situations? I would TOTALLY make someone new feel welcome if I was already in an established working environment....rather than completely ignoring them and making them feel like they are not wanted there.
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Is this what is happening to you?
 
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dyingtolive

Well-known member
if no one liked me but dont hate me, yes, same like with mikey said, it might even be easier to just focus on your work. if i don't start to feel comfortable and if the people just seem like really bad people, i would start looking for a job as well..

if people make it clear that they don't want me, then i'll look for work then quit probably.

if one or two people out of 20 hated me, i would probably still stick around.

over here, people with the lower paying jobs can get treated badly. there's alot of discrimination.

but i imagine a post office is not that happy a place to be, and the couple of times ive been to one, i didn't see the happiest of people.
 
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