Women exist... but does Love?

[A friend]

Only quoting the title

Women exist...but does Love?

The love for family and friends is an existing factor, but the love you're speaking about (love for girlfriend/wife/soul-mate/etc)? No, I don't think so at all.

The rejection, the fighting (in the relationships), the work, the break-up's, the affairs, and worst of all, the rejection. All of that seems the contradict what society says is it.

Love is an illusion, nothing more unfortunatly. ::

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

Only quoting the title


The love for family and friends is an existing factor, but the love you're speaking about (love for girlfriend/wife/soul-mate/etc)? No, I don't think so at all.

Love is an illusion, nothing more unfortunatly. ::

Yeah. I was starting to think love was an illusion...

However with friends & fam, you also have struggles, fights, etc.that love withstands. I'm not looking for a Fairytale or anything like that. Just someone to be with instead of people to put up with i guess. I wouldn't mind to struggle a bit with a few things, thats natural.

Being religious my spectrum has been reduced quite a bit, i guess i just need to put myself in more "like minded" environments. From talking 2 "Feathers" I think love is out there to create & individuals determine how deep & long it lasts.

 

[BlueDays]

I think that women are instruments used to reproduce, cook&clean(from time time-to-time) and to fufill all the desires that men build through the years.

My new (negative) view on women is turning to where I view them as sex instruments...ah, that sounds bad sorry females

....Good luck finding a girl who does not mind a boyfriend/husband who has these attitudes to women!!!


This is sad to read.::


Instruments!? no....we are humans like you actually.

 

[scottishpacfan]

I just want to stay single! too used to doing my own things in my own time! i'd be a NIGHT MARE if i went into a relationship!! guess you could say in this context im selfish to a degree..

 

[Minty]

My advice to you would be to get some exposure to females. Get to know your female teachers, make female friends, talk to old ones and young ones, ones who are girly, ones who are tomboys, as many different types of girls as possible.

I say this because you'll quickly find no two girls are the same with the same expectations and desires. You know how varied guys can be, right? Think of a guy who is your complete opposite. It would be silly to even compare him to you. Well, it's that way with girls too.

As long as you look at women and lump them all together under stereotypes, you will never get to know the people underneath and cannot form a proper relationship with them. So it would be pointless to date until your views have become less biased.

I think it's great that you're so honest about your problem and you're trying to correct it. Not a lot of people would have that courage. Good luck!

 

[Anti Matter]

In my eyes, love doesn't exsist in a relationship. Only love for family and the earth exsists.

 

[Minty]

In my eyes, love doesn't exsist in a relationship. Only love for family and the earth exsists.

How come, Anti?

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

....Good luck finding a girl who does not mind a boyfriend/husband who has these attitudes to women!!!


This is sad to read.::


Instruments!? no....we are humans like you actually.

yea I was sad to report, but i guess this was the result of a few relationships gone wrong.

It'll be a long road to recovery...

 

[JamesSmith]

my perspective on women may be messed up from somewhat of a broken childhood, but i'm missing the value in women or "love".
I love my mother and sisters to death, so i'm not against women. I just don't see the point. My father is a very nice man and he & my mom got divorced, but isn't everyone getting divorced these days? Where did the love go? or was there love in the first place?
I'm religious (christian) which i think is the primary reason i havent found "that somebody", but then I start to group all women in the same category. That category is encompasses women aged (16-24) - thirsty(sexually), money-hungry, status seeking females. (yes, this can be said of most people)
I tried to pick women who dressed more conservatively, yet still attractive in attempts to find the opposite but i havent been proven wrong yet. Every girl that i've associated with want sex. Everytime i've said no, or i'm waiting the relationship dies. So i think i've formed an unfair view of all women...
I think that women are instruments used to reproduce, cook&clean(from time time-to-time) and to fufill all the desires that men build through the years. My father found his sense of freedom, and enjoyment through his children (my sisters & I) so i unfortunately havent been exposed to a woman's worth.
I understand that this thinking isn't polite or may not be correct, it's just my experiences. Can sum1 help?

Being a human beings, we all ponder this at least every now and then. The other day i was in the shower and had to tell myself to shut up cuz I couldn't stop thinking about how I haven't been in love and wondering if I'd ever find someone. It's natural to wonder if you will get married and to wonder if love even exists, especially when you haven't experienced love like I haven't.

Women are instruments? Lol, c'mon man. The rise of feminism has made some serious ground in the last century, and now it's gotten to the point where women are almost working as much as men in the employment world. Women have become a lot more independent and should be treated as human beings, not instruments. I believe if a man and woman are together, they should find a way to do half of everything that needs to be done to keep their home and relationship going. Women have asked for their equality, and it has been given to them and should continue to be given to them.

I'm a Christian as well, and I will tell you that the fact that you are worried about not getting a g/f or wife, which is the reason why you probably started this thread, the reason is that you are worried that you never will get a wife and are scared. In the bible it is stated that we should not worry about whether we have a wife or not. G/fs or wives should just happen when we have our life together, they are icing the cake. And if you never get married, that is okay. I've struggled with this problem too: We think we need a significant other. We don't. You need to stop thinking you need love. I think it's a bigger problem if someone thinks they need a significant other than if someone doesn't have a significant other. I know it can be difficult to not worry about this, but if you can just minimize it, that will help too.

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

As long as you look at women and lump them all together under stereotypes, you will never get to know the people underneath and cannot form a proper relationship with them. So it would be pointless to date until your views have become less biased.

I think it's great that you're so honest about your problem and you're trying to correct it. Not a lot of people would have that courage. Good luck!

Thanks, I think either i'm attracted to the wrong ones, or the wrong ones are attracted to me because all my relationships have ended the similarly.
Too much B.E.T. as a kid

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

JamesSmith, i appreciate your response. It seems like we're going thru a lot of the same. Thanks

 

[WriterChick3]

Um, my comment may not be of any help:

I can kind of understand what you're saying ... My parents recently seperated (even though they broke up because my father was a very bad person.) but I still worry that I may see men as being the same type he is -- self-righteous, childish and making it sound like women are really to only serve men and not truly that important (it goes deeper than this. I still don't get what he meant.) but even hearing my father say those things about women, I continue to question myself about the worth of both genders and ... well, I'm not trying to talk about myself here. Sorry.
But the thing is, you'll find someone who will make you think differently. It might seem impossible, but sometimes when you meet the right person you change and see things differently.

Divorce can make a kids view of marriage a bit bitter; I see marriage as nothing, and I feel that my father is to blame.

By the way, I'm a Christian.
Ugh, I feel self-centered suddenly and like this is not what you meant at all! :\ By the way, I hope I didn't insult any guys reading this. lol ...

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

Um, my comment may not be of any help:

I can kind of understand what you're saying ... My parents recently seperated (even though they broke up because my father was a very bad person.) but I still worry that I may see men as being the same type he is -- self-righteous, childish and making it sound like women are really to only serve men and not truly that important (it goes deeper than this. I still don't get what he meant.) but even hearing my father say those things about women, I continue to question myself about the worth of both genders and ... well, I'm not trying to talk about myself here. Sorry.
But the thing is, you'll find someone who will make you think differently. It might seem impossible, but sometimes when you meet the right person you change and see things differently.

Divorce can make a kids view of marriage a bit bitter; I see marriage as nothing, and I feel that my father is to blame.

By the way, I'm a Christian.
Ugh, I feel self-centered suddenly and like this is not what you meant at all! :\ By the way, I hope I didn't insult any guys reading this. lol ...

No this was great, haha. I know exactly what your talking about. My father might have clouded my view on women a bit, as it seems your father did to you. Thanks Writer Chick!
... I love this forum, a lot of honest opinions (it's not self-centered). Although, i was told to make some1 a sandwich earlier haha.

 

[DespairSoul]

Oh and i must write yet something: I wrote that u should search in church community because u respond u like it and u are religion but sometimes u can find there even worse woman as u would find in a pub. Dont search it love find u alone or will come in the most looking forward moment in your live. If we want something so much usually we get opposite as live learn us over times. U got here great advices is up to you how u will increase them in your happiness and meaning of live.

 

[Anti Matter]

How come, Anti?

Bad experience with watching people in "love". Always falls apart, not seen one person I know last longer than 10 years. Pointless in trying to make things work. I don't see a point in putting effort in to something that you know will eventually fall apart.

 

[Minty]

Bad experience with watching people in "love". Always falls apart, not seen one person I know last longer than 10 years. Pointless in trying to make things work. I don't see a point in putting effort in to something that you know will eventually fall apart.

I dunno. My parents have been together for 27 years and still love each other. Sometimes it happens.

 

[Anti Matter]

I dunno. My parents have been together for 27 years and still love each other. Sometimes it happens.

Lucky them.

I just think I have issues with who I am and what I can offer which is not much imo. Prolly why I don't see a point really. Every relationship I've had turned into crap. Always down to me either not making an effort to just screwing up because I'm boring.

Thus, why I don't see a point.

 

[A friend]

I dunno. My parents have been together for 27 years and still love each other. Sometimes it happens.

I did not think something like that would be possible. All relationships that I've seen didn't last 5 years...

 

[Minty]

Lucky them.

I just think I have issues with who I am and what I can offer which is not much imo. Prolly why I don't see a point really. Every relationship I've had turned into crap. Always down to me either not making an effort to just screwing up because I'm boring.

Thus, why I don't see a point.

Have you tried dating someone who knows about SA? Who really, really understands what it's like? That way they'll know you're just scared and it's not that you don't want to make an effort.

@ A friend in need

Sure it is. It's just...really hard to find someone you're perfectly compatible with. But the best things in life are the hardest to obtain.

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

@ A friend in need

But the best things in life are the hardest to obtain.

Actually Nestle Tollhouse cookies are usually always available where I shop. I go for the large tubs instead of the 24 packs. I will say that the best flavors are sold in the packs though. You should either go with the chocolate chip with walnuts or the white chocolate macadamia nut, you can't lose either way...but relationships, now thats a whole different story