Will A Woman Ever Ask ME Out?

Z

Zaki

Well-known member
oddOne said:
. . . surprised nobody has picked you up yet . . . certainly seem like what I'd call a "home run" in terms of compatibility (relatable, doesn't self-pity, has a developed personality, capable of articulating her thoughts) . . . must be SOMETHING going on . . . you 6 foot tall and/or have a super intimidating glare?
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Home run...hehe...thanks for the complimentary words.
I'm 5'8" and I don't wear a glare. I don't exactly give off a jovial vibe though, either. As a matter of fact, I tend to look rather sad. Quite a few people have told me so. Perhaps I have inadvertently scared away a few suitors because I don't seem very warm or welcoming. Also, I'm not pretty, so...there's that.
 
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oddOne

oddOne

Active member
Zaki said:
Home run...hehe...thanks for the complimentary words.
I'm 5'8" and I don't wear a glare. I don't exactly give off a jovial vibe though, either. As a matter of fact, I tend to look rather sad. Quite a few people have told me so. Perhaps I have inadvertently scared away a few suitors because I don't seem very warm or welcoming. Also, I'm not pretty, so...there's that.
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Saw a self-pic of you posted several days back; if that isn't "pretty," then I'm apparently oblivious as to what qualifies as physical attractiveness in a human being. Yeah, even my compliments are awkwardly analytical . . . eh, whatever.

As for looking "rather sad," people have claimed similar things about me . . . mostly cause I keep to myself, a trait that often gets interpreted as "sad." Really though, it is either that (i.e. LOOKING perpetually downtrodden) OR unwittingly antagonizing everyone with my smirk, my default "happy" expression. To get a mental image of what I'm talking about, just think "smug, self-centered Wall Street fat-cat;" that's what me EXPRESSING happiness looks like.

As for not having a sufficiently "jovial vibe," cheery people make me uneasy. I don't dislike them . . . they just, eh, have perspectives too different from my own to comfortably coexist with a personality like mine.

Getting back to you, we'd likely get along without wanting to secretly KO each other precisely BECAUSE of your apparently "unwelcoming" temperament.
 
Betiol08

Betiol08

Member
What´s up dude. That happened to me. By the way, we both are in a relationship now.
But, I already knew her from work, and we kind had an interest in each other, he only problem was my anxiety about a possible rejection wen i ask her.
She probably noticed that and made the move. It was weird, but excitant in same time...


But, if you feel (even a little) that you can take a risk, my advice is: don´t wait to her move, do it yourself:

-Find a nice girl
-Try an approach (talk to her)
-If you feel things are propitious to you, ask her out (movies, restautant,or anywhere you feel confortable to be).

Maybe here in the forum you can start this process.
There´s a bunch of really nice girls around, plus,
they have their own expecience with SA!

Is there something better in a relationship, than be with someone that can really understand what you´ve been through, and also can share experiences and support with you?

Think about.
 
E

Epistemic

Member
No. A woman will never, ever, ever ask you out. In fact, the probability of a woman asking you out is approximately 10^300, or about the probability of obtaining 1000 heads in a row in the case of a series of tosses of an unbiased coin. It is a mandatory social expectation that males be the one to initiate, and this expectation will NEVER change (ever). Get used to it.
 
megalon

megalon

Well-known member
^ Apparently the one girl I ever went on a date with wasn't made aware of this so absolutely unbreakable law before she asked me out.:thinking:
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Epistemic said:
No. A woman will never, ever, ever ask you out. In fact, the probability of a woman asking you out is approximately 10^300, or about the probability of obtaining 1000 heads in a row in the case of a series of tosses of an unbiased coin. It is a mandatory social expectation that males be the one to initiate, and this expectation will NEVER change (ever). Get used to it.
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"It is a mandatory social expectation that males be the one to initiate, and this expectation will NEVER change"

So... You mean we are all obligated to follow societal norms? :eek:mg:
 
Api

Api

Active member
I've done so for the majority of the guys I've dated, since they tend to have some degree of SA too, but always online. I've also been asked by three girls, two in person. Think about how many lonely lesbians there would be if it was so painfully rare for girls to ask~

It'd just be easier if you asked, since that narrows it down to people you're interested in and they don't have to sit there trying to decide if you are. But lots of people of either gender don't want to ask since they don't want to be told no.
 
iAmCodeMonkey

iAmCodeMonkey

Member
I got approached by a tall hot brunette once in college. :bigsmile: So you never know. It IS rare though, I will admit that.

I found out later on that she was taken by some creative googling skills on my part. And by noticing the ring on her finger. :sad:
 
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iAmCodeMonkey

iAmCodeMonkey

Member
Epistemic said:
No. A woman will never, ever, ever ask you out. In fact, the probability of a woman asking you out is approximately 10^300, or about the probability of obtaining 1000 heads in a row in the case of a series of tosses of an unbiased coin. It is a mandatory social expectation that males be the one to initiate, and this expectation will NEVER change (ever). Get used to it.
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Where is your scientific proof of this?

Also, you sound uptight in the rest of your post.
 
oddOne

oddOne

Active member
iAmCodeMonkey said:
Where is your scientific proof of this?

Also, you sound uptight in the rest of your post.
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Whatever shred might exist is obscured by mitigating factors that have little to do with one's sex.

Put yourself out there. That's how one finds work, how one finds people, how people get found.

Life isn't like hide and go seek; when one hides, whatever the reason, one STAYS hidden. There are too many others that DON'T hide for society to bother with those that stick to the shadows.
 
L

Lilly789

Well-known member
Id NEVER ask a guy out, no matter who they were or how awesome they were, or how desperately I wanted to.

So if youre going to sit back and wait for a girl to ask you out you might be waiting a loonnggg time.

EDIT: its not that I wouldnt want to - I have AVPD and a little BDD. Id be utterly embarrassed for them to be asked out by someone as disgusting as me.
My point is, dont wait for someone to ask you out - ask them out or you might miss out altogether.
 
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kilojoule

kilojoule

1
What kind of headmelting mind game society does everyone live in...I'd ask a guy out. Id be nervous but Id do it, Ive done it before. Its no more strange for me to do it than it is for him to do it. I dont even think thats forward modern thinking for me to ask him :thinking: its just normal, as normal as it is for him to ask. And it doesnt mean anything, theres no mindbending implications of what that says about my character or his. In fact I wouldnt even find it a noteworthy detail. If he said yes, Id tell my friend I was going on a date. It wouldnt even occur to me to mention who did the asking. Thats irrelevant.

All these mindgames nonsense of 'Oh i couldnt ask him, itd mean this' or 'he asked me so it means that' is rubbish and I wouldnt go near any guy who thought like that cos Ive no time for reading into hidden meanings nonsense, Im not on dawsons creek. Its just sh.ite talk and stupid. I cant be dealing with overanalysing the meaning of every little thing and what that interprets....:rollseyes: for jesus sake. If I am at all confused, Ill ask. Better things to do with my time than readin into what it 'might' mean. ....mutter mutter. If I ask a guy out it just means Id like to go out with him. And vica versa.
 
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Slytherin88

Slytherin88

Well-known member
NVN said:
I have come to the conclusion that the only time I will be able to "date" or have a "relationship" is if a woman asks ME out. Part of my demented brain tells me that this is the only way it will work.

Life is fascinating. And boring.
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I am the same. No way on earth I would ever ask a guy out. Fear of rejection is too fierce.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Hellhound said:
I think you missed the fear of rejection/BDD part.
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I think I see what you mean now. At the time I thought she was being arrogant because she didn't state WHY she would never approach a man. So it read like she feels that she is above doing that. But reading it again now I can see the fear of rejection angle.

All apologies.
 
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S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
S_Spartan said:
I think I see what you mean now. At the time I thought she was being arrogant because she didn't state WHY she would never approach a man. So it read like she feels that she is above doing that. But reading it again now I can see the fear of rejection angle.

All apologies.
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And now I also saw her edit that she added later so that clears that up. I'm up to speed now.

*walks away slowly whistling*
 
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