confident?
Member
I find making friends very difficult
why is making friends so difficult?
- Thread starter confident?
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StandingJelly
Well-known member
Introduce yourself 
But no idea what the answer is :S
But no idea what the answer is :S
Yeee Making friends Sucks!
I have friends but I don't trust them soo they probably aren't real friends.
But yee it is hard. I've found when trying to make friends with people are very guarded about letting you in to there group of friends. It's almost like you have to do something "cool" to be part of there group.
Anyway I don't know. I'm not really good at advice.
I have friends but I don't trust them soo they probably aren't real friends.
But yee it is hard. I've found when trying to make friends with people are very guarded about letting you in to there group of friends. It's almost like you have to do something "cool" to be part of there group.
Anyway I don't know. I'm not really good at advice.
Scallywag
Member
OMG same here, I always thought I was weird for not trusting my own family. Trust issues with friends is justifiable cos friends come and go but your not supposed to feel like that with your own family surely... or maybe I am just weird lol.
emerald_star733
Well-known member
My real life friends are long distance.(cause i moved away)So the few true ones i have there, i keep in contact by phone or email. New friends i don't really want unless they are online ones. I have a very hard time trusting new people in real life. A few in my new town have asked me to do things with them but i haven't yet and don't really want to as bad as that sounds.::
:I try not to worry about everyone else. The only person you really have to answer to is yourself. You are who you are and sooner or later you will find a group of friends who will accept and like you for who you are. Anyway I'm no expert on the subject I was looking for information on hyperhidrosis and since no one ever replies to my posts I thought it was maybe because I was asking American questions in the UK section.
It's hard because first impressions really matter to most people and unfortunately SA makes us give terrible first impressions... I mean, even if you don't manage to come off as awkward, you're quiet. And when you're quiet people will usually assume you don't want to be talking to them and that you're unfriendly.
It takes a very patient, selfless soul who still tries to befriend us despite the first impression we give them.
I think trust is important but you can still be someone's friend and not trust them fully. You just can't confide in every little thing until they've earned your trust. Then they become sort of...a best friend?
I dunno. I only trust my sister. That's it. I trust that everyone else in my life, for the most part, wants the best for me but I know they are capable of making mistakes, like gossiping about me or telling others my secrets. It's not that they're being a horrible person, it's just that they don't realize how bad it would make me feel. It's not a big deal to them. But my sister isn't like that, so she has my trust fully.
It takes a very patient, selfless soul who still tries to befriend us despite the first impression we give them.
I think trust is important but you can still be someone's friend and not trust them fully. You just can't confide in every little thing until they've earned your trust. Then they become sort of...a best friend?
I dunno. I only trust my sister. That's it. I trust that everyone else in my life, for the most part, wants the best for me but I know they are capable of making mistakes, like gossiping about me or telling others my secrets. It's not that they're being a horrible person, it's just that they don't realize how bad it would make me feel. It's not a big deal to them. But my sister isn't like that, so she has my trust fully.
scoobycrawler
Well-known member
i don't know but it sucks badly and in an awful way
skins
1
This^^ i find its easy enough to meet ppl through work, social clubs etc...but progressing it to the point where they let become a part of their group of friends is the hard part. particularly as you get older. i don't feel they are a true friend untill this happens..this is why i have a small group of acquaintances which i see rarely rather then a solid group of dependable friends.
Richey
Well-known member
when you are post 20's it can be very hard in that it sort of becomes a game and you are forced into a dog-eat-dog world of hierarchy, especially at work and also if you enter the social world of going to pubs etc,
people are more likely to be superficial and judgemental and gossipy. at work often people will suck-up to people higher up the chain/ladder and thus life can prove to be far more complicated.
when you are a kid making a friend can be very simple because it filters out all the garbage that you have to put up with when you interact with adults.
so essentially for me the adults who arn't interested in the above are the sorts of people i am most likely to befriend. problem with this is that they are a dime a dozen.
it's not always like this though. sometimes it can be easyt o make friends depending on your environment and your family and exposure to people in day-to-day life which differs for all of us.
as i have said in the past you could put the same person in 3 completely different environments and they may struggle in 2 but they may may thrive and flourish in the 3rd environment, by this i mean that in the 1st world they may be living with 3 people who are angry and condescending and are causing stress, in the second they could be living with friends. In the third world they could be forced to live in a very social family of 5-6 brothers and sisters where you are constantly being sarcastic and verbally pushing each others buttons but you are getting forced practice in people skills simply because your family is so diverse.
so unfortunately living environment, family, influences etc can play a huge role in your personality in the way that it moulds your people skills and practice of making friends.
I also believe that our personalities often change if we are thrown into new worlds that are completely different to the last.
So just because you are quiet and shy in the world you live in right now, there could be thousands of other environments where you are comfortable in and you won't be shy.
So i think the key to making friends and testing your personality is to change your environment every couple of years. easier said then done though.
people are more likely to be superficial and judgemental and gossipy. at work often people will suck-up to people higher up the chain/ladder and thus life can prove to be far more complicated.
when you are a kid making a friend can be very simple because it filters out all the garbage that you have to put up with when you interact with adults.
so essentially for me the adults who arn't interested in the above are the sorts of people i am most likely to befriend. problem with this is that they are a dime a dozen.
it's not always like this though. sometimes it can be easyt o make friends depending on your environment and your family and exposure to people in day-to-day life which differs for all of us.
as i have said in the past you could put the same person in 3 completely different environments and they may struggle in 2 but they may may thrive and flourish in the 3rd environment, by this i mean that in the 1st world they may be living with 3 people who are angry and condescending and are causing stress, in the second they could be living with friends. In the third world they could be forced to live in a very social family of 5-6 brothers and sisters where you are constantly being sarcastic and verbally pushing each others buttons but you are getting forced practice in people skills simply because your family is so diverse.
so unfortunately living environment, family, influences etc can play a huge role in your personality in the way that it moulds your people skills and practice of making friends.
I also believe that our personalities often change if we are thrown into new worlds that are completely different to the last.
So just because you are quiet and shy in the world you live in right now, there could be thousands of other environments where you are comfortable in and you won't be shy.
So i think the key to making friends and testing your personality is to change your environment every couple of years. easier said then done though.
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aidan
Well-known member
i agree here with 'Minty' also for me aswell as that its the having to interact and the fear of acting like a fool, or saying something really stupid or sounding stupid.
da_illest101
Well-known member
same here except I trust my family, lol they are far more trust worthy then I am.
on topic: to be honest I never had problem making friends, it's keeping them that is the issue for me
I think its more of not opening up to let a friendship in. when I first started my job back in august, there was a dude there that was really cool. We were interested in a lot of the same things, and we were both black, in a predominantly white office building lol. he invited me over multiple times to his house to have a couple beers, shout at the t.v, and play video games, but, I just couldn't pull the trigger. I know I can still call him up and hang out, but I think its been too long now, as he stopped working for the company months ago. I know my biggest problem is not opening up. I am working on it though.
Young sad and blue
Member
Making friends for me is difficult because I expect a lot from people. And all of the people in my everyday life aren't "friend" material. When I do make friends, I end up wanting to be alone.
Bustn Justin
Well-known member
I say the same thing that I can't make friends since I cannot trust them or feel rejected.
On top of that I am not even friends with myself since I hate myself everyday and think there is no hope in things ever changing.
On top of that I am not even friends with myself since I hate myself everyday and think there is no hope in things ever changing.