Why don't other women like me?

[mismeek]

I use to come off as a bitch in my grad program bc I don't socialize with my peers enough. Girls tend to just assume the worse about you if they dont kno you well. I found that if you keep talking to you (even if they say..why is she talking to us..) they'll get used to you and eventually starts either seeing you as a neutral person, or extending some type of friendship. Its takes a while but it usually works. Its worked for me about 75% of the time.

Although there are some women who are just petty. they're usually jealous of somethign you have (she may see you as pretty, or feels that you seem more self confident) or afraid that your encroaching on their territory.

Just stick it out girl.. don't change too much just for their sake!

 

[myheartisastone]

I have one real female friend. That's it. ONE. I don't know if it's something i'm doing or how i act but i feel like most women dislike me. I mostly work with women who are similar in age to me (20's) and they seem to not particularly like me. One girl in particular seems to really dislike me.

I know it's not in my head because a while ago another co-worker added me on Facebook and where it says "so and so is now friends with so and so" this girl who dislikes me commented underneath "LOL Her???" Even though it's petty it really upset me when i saw it because i hardly even know this girl who dislikes me. I've only ever had a casual conversation with her in passing a few times so i don't know what i could have done to offend her.

I have been told that a look sad/upset quite often and i'm quite quiet until i get to know someone so people have called me stuck up because i'm quiet and walk with my head down because of my self consciousness but i don't think that warrants such spitefulness. I really wish i had some female friends but my awkwardness and being self conscious just makes it pretty much impossible.

Am i doing something wrong?

Yea, you're interacting with human beings. lol.

But no, this is what i've learned -- don't show it bothers you. They're obviously being catty and haven't mentally graduated highschool (or perhaps middle school) yet. If you show them it bothers you, you'll only give them more of a reason to continue doing it.

I'm quiet too, but I do manage to try to start conversations or small talk, even though I hate small talk ... just to give the impression that I care, or i'm social. I'm really not. But, quiet people are punished it seems, because people like drawing conclusions about them without even knowing them.

This is why being quiet is a double-edged sword. Say too much -- you could come off making a bad impression as a gabber (depending on what/ you're talking about) and say too little, and then some other people get the impression that "you're too good for them" or "stuck up" or "weird", or choose one, people's insecurities come from just being this judgmental.

So, what do you do? as hard as it might be, you should only care about the opinions of the people you like. The opinions of idiots shouldn't really bother you, as they are just being catty idiots who probably feel like the only way to bond or be accepted with other women is to cut down other women.

In short: it's not you, it's them.

 

[Slytherin88]

wow, how has that been working out for you? :question:

Haha, not bad!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Sorry to hear that! I think a lot of your coworkers assume (by your body language) that you don't like them. So, the feel they need to reject you as well. It's not your fault, it's a byproduct of social anxiety.

The only way to change their perception is to be consistently more open and friendly. A lot of that (which is hard for us to control) is in body language.

 

[Flanscho]

For some reason, most of my friends are female.

My closest friends, I know her since more than a decade, is female.

The roleplaying game group I'm part of consists of four women and me.

The weekly cooking evening I attend consists of two to three women and me.

The person I go swimming with is female.

The person I craft things with or have long walks with is female.

Not sure why this is the case.