Where does one (who doesn't drink) go to be sociable?

[megalon]

The weather's beautiful and I'm feeling somewhat confident. Where do normal people go that isn't a bar? Assuming said normal person doesn't have any friends to do anything with. I want to go somewhere to step outside my comfort zone and get some social experience. I used to go to the local laundromat where I could sit with my headphones on and practice making eye contact with the people who came in to wash their clothes, but it closed recently. I am into cars and motorcycles so I will go to the big cruise night the local racetrack hosts weekly in the summer, but it hasn't started yet.

 

[dyingtolive]

maybe a good time to hook up with a friend,

-to play sports?
-to watch dvds, movies
-road tripping?
-go to the beach or nature trippin

 

[coyote]

coffee shops are fun

like a bar, only quieter - and with coffee instead of beer

they usually have wifi, so you can take your laptop

people hang out, read books, surf the web, engage in light socializing

there's usually women there, too - and they're usually quiet and interesting, rather than shouting and stumbling around drunk in ridiculous heels and trashy club dresses like the bar crowd

 

[dyingtolive]

have u ever started a conversation with a stranger or met ppl in coffee shops coyote? do people actually do that? well atleast from where im from, i dont think people do that, but i think people make friends with the bartenders/staff

 

[coyote]

have u ever started a conversation with a stranger or met ppl in coffee shops coyote? do people actually do that? well atleast from where im from, i dont think people do that, but i think people make friends with the bartenders/staff

yes, i have

 

[dyingtolive]

you're a hero

 

[coyote]

you're a hero

no, people are just friendly where I live

 

[Beatrice]

there's usually women there, too - and they're usually quiet and interesting, rather than shouting and stumbling around drunk in ridiculous heels and trashy club dresses like the bar crowd

hahahahahaha

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I wouldn't have the vaguest idea how to start a conversation with someone who was on their computer. I'd feel like an intruder, besides.

 

[coyote]

I wouldn't have the vaguest idea how to start a conversation with someone who was on their computer. I'd feel like an intruder, besides.

"hey, whatcha got there? a Mac? you running Snow leopard on that thing?"

"how many jiggabytes can you run on there?"

"do you like Safari?" "is it better than Google chrome?"

"do you have any problems getting the signal in here?"

people have asked me all sorts of stuff like this

(strange, because my laptop has the word ACER emblazoned on it)

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

go on a bike

 

[Arthur_Dent]

I wonder what I would do in a coffe shop withoit a laptop. Still, I earn no money at all so I can't afford go out somewhere.

Somebody once told me to try book clubs, but that person told me that their meetings finish very late at night and my parents nag me a lot when I go late home, even if I'm doung some college assignment. This parent overprotection and lack of money is a major obstacle to go out anywhere

 

[Joan6466]

That's a great question! I always say to clients- follow your interests. Your interests are where you have a stirring of excitement even thinking of the event. I like places where you don't have to keep starting from scratch-where you can go back and see some of the same people. For example, I like walking around a lake in my city- being circular, you have a beginning and an end-- and you can practice some of the rites of passage without having to have an in depth conversation- as you start seeing familiar people you can try a greeting- "HI-- nice day today! "Cold isn't it! It's purposefully surface talk- because it gives you a chance to lightly reach out to someone, and gives both of you a chance to size up the other person. We pick up vibes- our sonar is out, so to speak. Your idea of practicing some eye contact in the Laundromat was super!

It also gives you a chance to memorize and practice the body language that gives you a look of friendliness so you don't accidentally scare people. Sometimes when we're anxious we give off an unintentional coldness- it's an accidental protective body language. So practice in the mirror where you hold those facial muscles when you're trying to look pleasant. I like to add the thought of encouragement as the cognitive component. THINK; "There are good people out there. This is just for practice. My goal is just to do it. No criticism of my efforts." And ALWAYS PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK for just getting there. You always reinforce the attempt- not just the success. Cheers to you!

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Church, libraries and police stations are great places too.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

You can always try meetup.com, meet some like minded people who enjoy doing the same things you do.

 

[Death Rider]

One of my attempts to reach out was sitting next to a troubled person in a park, asking before sitting, of course, and then saying something like damn, the view is beautiful. Asking the person next to you, whether he/she comes here often. Then the conversation goes on from there... In my attempt - I saw the person was troubled, so talking about life led to talking about suicide attempts and stuff... For me, that was interesting..