I am 21. I am in no way means ready to have a baby...I am still a student and living in a rented flat and I move every year as only yearly leases. I currently live with my sister, I have mo job and I am still very childish in my ways so I am not financally or emotionally stable right now to have a baby but I keep bringing it up to my boyfriend of two years. He says he is not ready and wants to see the world and get married and go to university. But I cannot stop thinking about having a baby. I know it will be a responsibility that im not ready for but every so often I go through a stage of my body aching and my brain on baby overload...I am not wanting a baby yet but somehow my body and mind is ready for it...every time im out and see a pram or a baby I picture me pregnant or with a baby of my own, I look so happy in my daydreams, I have constant dreams of holding a baby boy with my boyfriend and his family around me and hes my baby boy and I feel a motherly bond to this baby and when I wake up its like a part of me is missing...I feel sad that he wasnt real but he felt so real. What is wrong with me am I going crazy.....
whats with me I am 21 and I want a baby..how to stop my body/mind wanting a baby
- Thread starter doctor_who
- Start date
You're not alone. There are girls aged 15, 16, and 17 who want children. I think this has something to do with being a woman. It's part of the female instinct to reproduce in order to ensure survival of the human race. But it's good that you realize how irrational this instinct is, especially at this time when you're not ready to have a baby.
Having a baby is not all fun and joy unlike what TV and movies portray. The baby poops, cries a lot, not to mention costs a lot too.
Having a baby is not all fun and joy unlike what TV and movies portray. The baby poops, cries a lot, not to mention costs a lot too.
LastCaress
Banned
You probably just want a baby cause you see other people having kids and want to fit in. You are not ready, and would probably make a horrible mother right now. Think of a very good reason to bring a child into this world. And don't a child just for the sake of it. and Mikey, WRONG it is a lifetime commitment not just 18 years.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Yeah, but that's when you become an adult. I understand a child is for life, but thanks for pointing out how wrong I was.
kihira
1
I agree with this, especially since the OP is dreaming about it
I think this post is a bit harsh on both the OP and Mickey, saying that she wants to fit in and would make a horrible mother are assumptions and probably incorrect. Mickey says that its a "big responsibility for roughly 18 years" - hopefully for most parents the responsibility lessens after that
LastCaress
Banned
It is too bad you see my post that way. That's the sad thing, too many people are too sensitive here and take posts the wrong way. At least my post its truthful and not sugarcoating anything. And it was not meant to be harsh but constructive. Too bad people here don;t see things that way and just jump to the negative. By not being truthful no one here every learns or gets any help.
I'm not so sure whether you can stop yourself from wanting it. But, you could use it to your advantage. If you want nothing more than starting a family, use it as motivation to improve the things you currently feel make you a unfit parent.
Look objectively at your life, address the things you find need improvement, and then commit fully to changing those things for the better. In the end your reward will be the family you want so bad.
Don't try to not-want it, it's a great thing you want a family. Just make sure you have all the financial and psychological means before hand.
Look objectively at your life, address the things you find need improvement, and then commit fully to changing those things for the better. In the end your reward will be the family you want so bad.
Don't try to not-want it, it's a great thing you want a family. Just make sure you have all the financial and psychological means before hand.
Lea
Banned
Weird, I never had this! I hear women sometimes talk about biological clock, but I never had this biological clock. Only when I was about 17 I sometimes thought how it would be nice to have a baby and not be alone. But I never had an urge to have baby since. I can´t even imagine to have a bf let alone baby.
You can be happy to feel this, at least you know you´re normal. My mother had me at 26 so you still have time, but don´t put it off for too long.
You can be happy to feel this, at least you know you´re normal. My mother had me at 26 so you still have time, but don´t put it off for too long.
Lea
Banned
I´m sure it can be done cheaper than that.
Don't forget about education costs (elementary, middle, high school, college), food, toys, clothes, glasses, doctor visits, vaccinations, driver's ed and car, birthday cakes, cell phone (or smartphone if your kid is picky), phone bills, computer, and miscellaneous expenses! This could quickly add up to over 90k for the first 18 years of the child's life!
Lea
Banned
Hm, what about child allowances?
anomicdeer
Well-known member
I'll just say, listen to your boyfriend. He will probably never want one people he thinks he wants to do other things first and then it will be to late in his opinion. Just listen to him and have fun with him and be enjoy not having a child.
I have one he just turned 1. Sometimes I hate that I ****ed up my life by moving in with his dad. Jobless after quiting my first new job and we never spend time with each other. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to worry about having a child. Not that I don't like having him... I'm just too depressed sometimes and don't want to bother, but I have to anyway.
I have one he just turned 1. Sometimes I hate that I ****ed up my life by moving in with his dad. Jobless after quiting my first new job and we never spend time with each other. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to worry about having a child. Not that I don't like having him... I'm just too depressed sometimes and don't want to bother, but I have to anyway.
SilentBird
Well-known member
I definitely don't want children but I do wonder if having a child would alleviate the emptiness I feel inside; or give meaning to my life. I know that if I am to find fulfillment it will have to be elsewhere. I could contribute to people in need, help animals or make the world a greener place. Still figuring it out.
I dont think id be a rubbish mother, I am not saying I am going to have one right now when im in a rubbish place at the moment as still a student, dont have a job and dont live in my own flat, I am not stupid and if you had read my post you would of known this. I am not wanting a baby because everyone else has one and I want to fit in, thats not the reason you have a baby...I register these feelings and have decided I am not having one right now all I askes was if this is normal..I hopey biological clock isnt running out....people on here are so harsh.
Surely by saying I dont want a baby and its too much responsibility for me right now shows u I may be a good mother because im choosing not to bring a child into a situation which isnt perfect...im wanting to wait until I finish my uni course and get a job so I can earn enough to support the child myself without support like benefits from the government....ive always wanted a kid since I was at school and even my mum said id be a good mum. Well I dont want to leave it too long ive discussed it again with my partner and we decided early 30s which is too old for me but least we come to some agreement but if I reach that age and im not ready financially or emotionally then I wont have a child.