What's most important to you when you look for a relationship?

[upndwn]

What is the first thing you look for in a potential partner?

1 Charm

The person has a positive attitude, is funny and popular.

2 Money

The person has a lot of material wealth.

3 Looks

The person is physically attractive.

4 Stability

The person provides financial and emotional stability.

5 Cultural

You want to be with the person out of respect for traditional, religious or cultural beliefs.

6 Other (please specify)

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

Charm. It's not so much that I look for it, but if someone is charming and funny then that's what catches my attention first.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

You don't actually expect people to say they're after money and looks, do you?

 

[BlackPuma]

Humor and tolerance (to an extent).

 

[moon_x]

For importance, I think Love, love conquers all. People can quit smoking, because of love.

Charm is not important, but its something I seem to naturally fall for.
Humor too, but not really any humor, I tend to like light-hearted, good humor.
I like people who are natural and comfortable being themselves, I find that attractive.

When people say girls like bad boys. Thats not really true, what they like is mystery and excitement.
I like to be with someone who dont mind telling me what he thinks of me, even if its harsh. I wont like it, but it does make me intrigue.
I tend to able to be myself around them for some reason, because they so open, that I dont care how they think of me much.
I have made a friend like that, who i'm able to talk to alot and just be silly and random with because they the same.
While its nice to be nice, but I like honesty.

 

[upndwn]

You don't actually expect people to say they're after money and looks, do you?

Well, it is an anonymous poll so you never know.....::

 

[this_portrait]

I picked stability.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

The nearest on your list would be charm, but you've defined it as funny and popular. It doesn't really matter to me whether they're popular or not, but making me laugh and enjoying being around them is probably the most important thing.

 

[Felgen]

As much as I hate to admit it: Looks. I know that there are more important things, but looks are what turn me on. This is also why I frequently end up with emotionally unstable girls.

 

[megalon]

What is the first thing you look for in a potential partner?

1 Charm

The person has a positive attitude, is funny and popular.

This is the closest answer for me but not exactly right. For instance, popularity isn't important to me at all. Also there are two questions being asked here. One says what is the most important thing and the other says what is the first thing. I answered the "most important" question, but honestly, the first thing I look for and I would assume most other people is looks just because looks is usually the first thing you know about someone. I'm not shallow but a relationship without physical attraction doesn't work. I did date a girl I wasn't attracted to when I believed that naive "it's what's on the inside that counts" philosophy, and she was hurt by it when it didn't work out. I felt terrible about that and I won't make that mistake again.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I choose "other". Chemistry? Rapport? That is most important to me. Do I actually get along with this person? Perhaps this encompasses charm as well. With friends it is the same thing. With some people I just "click".

 

[upndwn]

This is the closest answer for me but not exactly right. For instance, popularity isn't important to me at all. Also there are two questions being asked here. One says what is the most important thing and the other says what is the first thing. I answered the "most important" question, but honestly, the first thing I look for and I would assume most other people is looks just because looks is usually the first thing you know about someone. I'm not shallow but a relationship without physical attraction doesn't work. I did date a girl I wasn't attracted to when I believed that naive "it's what's on the inside that counts" philosophy, and she was hurt by it when it didn't work out. I felt terrible about that and I won't make that mistake again.

Dooh, I didn't see before now that my thread title doesn't match my poll question, oh well, it doesn't matter which one of the questions you answer, they're close enough.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Since I'm married I feel I can rightly express the fact that what's most important to you now will not be most important to you in 10 years. I think the only relationship qualifier (other than the concrete core values that rarely change)people can have in the present is "this person needs to be able to grow and change with me." and "i will change,so will you...do we have the same core values now and are we the type of people who can roll with the changes together?"

 

[planemo]

I'd say a little bit of everything you listed. It would most probably start with physical attractiveness or charm. It won't be "woah she's gorgeous, I love her" but it will be something that gets your attention, and it could be someones behaviour and not just the way they look. After this person has my attention for whatever reason, most of the other things you listed kinda fill in the gaps and create a bigger picture and it's this bigger picture that i would most likely look for, and that's when I would most probably feel like this is someone i like. Of course liking someone and actually having a relationship, for me, are two very distant and different things.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

A second person.

 

[Silatuyok]

All of those sound kind of shallow to me, as far as being The Most Important Thing to look for in a partner. But of those, I chose stability, because I am so emotionally unstable that I need a stable partner more than I need good looks or money or charm or cultural stuff.

 

[Silatuyok]

Since I'm married I feel I can rightly express the fact that what's most important to you now will not be most important to you in 10 years. I think the only relationship qualifier (other than the concrete core values that rarely change)people can have in the present is "this person needs to be able to grow and change with me." and "i will change,so will you...do we have the same core values now and are we the type of people who can roll with the changes together?"

Agreed. Being able to commit, compromise, and accommodate changes are big things in a relationship. Without it, none of the other stuff matters.

 

[Kiwong]

Consistency and emotional stability are what I need in my life. I've have found a lot of that in myself lately.

 

[Fen]

None of those options.
The only thing that I care about is that she is similar to me. It never happened obviously.

 

[BlueDays]

Since I'm married I feel I can rightly express the fact that what's most important to you now will not be most important to you in 10 years. I think the only relationship qualifier (other than the concrete core values that rarely change)people can have in the present is "this person needs to be able to grow and change with me." and "i will change,so will you...do we have the same core values now and are we the type of people who can roll with the changes together?"

Agreed. Being able to commit, compromise, and accommodate changes are big things in a relationship. Without it, none of the other stuff matters.

This^
What may seem "charming" to you now could end up being annoying in 5 or more years time.
You need to gel with the persons personality otherwise the relationship won't survive the stresses of life.
I look for the ability to get on well with the personality of a potential partner.