What your Die point ?

[Bo592]

First off a Die point is that specfic part in a conversation where your strike out. Like for example mine would be when someone ask me "what do you do for a living ?" That my Die point because I don`t have a job.And as soon as I mention that is when the person Start to stop being nice to me and want to act like I don`t exist any more. I can`t get pass that question as soon as that come up I am dead it my Die point in conversations.I don`t know how to get pass that or avoid it.

Die point can also be a certain mount of time that you can last in a conversation like 40 mins or 10 mins. I don`t get in very much conversation but when I do I remember I only last about 10 to 20 mins and then I am uncomfortable I just shutdown. Die point can also be uncomfortable topics. It make it hard when the topic is somthing that is very basic and common that people would ask all the time like my example was. I was wondering if other people here was able to take notice on what there Die point are and then maybe we could figure out answer to our Die point together. Who knows you probably already made a thread hear before on your Die point before you even new what Die point was.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

In the context of real life conversations at work and at school? All of the time! Whether the other person is controlling the conversation or if I am it's very hard to come up with topics to talk about :sad: But it also depends on how much I know about the other person, but even then I don't think I last very long in conversation because people know I'm such a great listener. :shyness:

In the context of online conversation my discussions with people last so much longer so it makes it easier for me to see what my "die points" are. When I'm on my favorite dating site (still no success btw) and I tell women I still live at home and work at a restaurant it's like our relationship is turned into a ticking time bomb and she will leave sooner rather than later even if our conversations were great up until then. I'm not a creep or ask for sex so what do women want?

 

[State_Of_Trance]

Mine is, "So what do you do for fun? What are your hobbies?" I hate this so much.

If I say games and anime I'll be considered lazy or stupid or a perv. If I say, "I read a lot of classic literature," which is also true, they might think I'm trying to sound sophisticated. And, truthfully, I'm not sure that I actually like reading that stuff or if I just force myself to read because I grew up around smart people and I felt that you were "supposed" to.

I'm considering taking up some harmless, socially acceptable hobbies just so that I can say I do them without lying. But then I'm spending my free time doing things I don't want to do just to make other people happy.

This is a puzzle I have yet to solve, I guess.

 

[Megaten]

Yeah for me its when people ask me about my hobbies, or what I did over the weekend. I mean I love my hobbies, but Im a bit self conscious about them because of some of the mean comments Ive gotten from people regarding them. So Ill give them a vague answer which is a conversation killer unless they're extremely curious.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

Yeah for me its when people ask me about my hobbies, or what I did over the weekend. I mean I love my hobbies, but Im a bit self conscious about them because of some of the mean comments Ive gotten from people regarding them. So Ill give them a vague answer which is a conversation killer unless they're extremely curious.

Oh, the dreaded "What did you do this weekend, it's almost as bad as the "What are you doing this upcoming weekend question?" Whenever I say "Dunno, played video games, did homework, puttered around YouTube for 3 hours" it kills the conversation. I'm sorry, do you think I moonlight as Batman on the weekends? I'm sorry I'm not exciting enough for you.

 

[Bronson99]

When I'm on my favorite dating site (still no success btw) and I tell women I still live at home and work at a restaurant it's like our relationship is turned into a ticking time bomb and she will leave sooner rather than later even if our conversations were great up until then. I'm not a creep or ask for sex so what do women want?

Yes I've noticed this too. Truthful but politically incorrect answer: You have to learn to embellish, or even lie. You can embellish without lying, if you're careful. That's how you get past this.

I imagine unemployed basement geeks still use dating sites and manage to meet a few women here and there, but certainly it would not happen if they were 100% honest.

After all, no one is perfectly honest anymore. You can't be.

 

[Brittney81]

My die point is when a guy starts asking sexual questions cause it's obvious he's just looking for dirty chat

 

[Requiescat]

I can answer questions very well, but I struggle to ask questions. I made a lot of progress last year in that regard, but have slipped this year. I suppose I'm just not a good conversationalist by nature, admitting that at least takes some pressure off me.

 

[theoutsider]

If I'm understanding this right, my Die Point is when people expect me to join them in talking/looking down on someone. As someone who has been ostracized my entire life, I refuse to take part in doing the same to someone else. When I don't participate, I always wind up being on the outs, myself.

 

[Requiescat]

If I'm understanding this right, my Die Point is when people expect me to join them in talking/looking down on someone. As someone who has been ostracized my entire life, I refuse to take part in doing the same to someone else. When I don't participate, I always wind up being on the outs, myself.

Yes, that is another thing. Finding that the way others communicate is incompatible with how I want to convey myself. Being different often means not quite being in sync; negative and derogatory speech isn't something I enjoy either, though I have mastered the art of making robotic neutral filler comments, so it isn't a dying point for me as the OP described it.

 

[Graeme1988]

If I'm understanding this right, my Die Point is when people expect me to join them in talking/looking down on someone. As someone who has been ostracized my entire life, I refuse to take part in doing the same to someone else. When I don't participate, I always wind up being on the outs, myself.

Same with me. Though, if someone says something sarcastic to me, I tend to response with a deadpan remark that they'll usually misjudge as genuine seriousness or faint praise...

My Die Point is probably being asked: "So, what'cha been up to lately, then?"

Or the two questions State of Trance mentioned.

Mine is, "So what do you do for fun? What are your hobbies?" I hate this so much.

Since if I answer of these question, I'll get judged negatively. Since for me, hobbies amount to playing / listening to music, reading books and collecting comic books and music memorablia. I don't have the focus for playing video games nowadays, so... :idontknow:

And my music tastes are way outta sync with most people in my age group.

Though, my younger self would probably draw the line at being asked intrusive questions about my disabilty, which is really no-one else's business except for me and family. Because I got constant question about that, which made me feel awkward as I didn't have a satisfactory answer about it.

 

[beesknees]

My die point is when someone asks me if I have a girlfriend, wife, or children. Feels like I get uppercutted in the gut and I don't want to talk about it at all. I wish I had a family, but there's a very good chance it will not happen. Just puts me in a bad mood.

 

[theslowesthand]

Mine could be when a relative asked me 'when are you going to get a girlfriend?'. To get past any awkwardness I immediately turned it into a joke, by saying i've skipped all the drama of dating, getting a girlfriend, getting engaged, getting married, and then getting separated/divorced .. and returned to being single again (using my brother as an example!)

 

[Graeme1988]

Mine could be when a relative asked me 'when are you going to get a girlfriend?'. To get past any awkwardness I immediately turned it into a joke, by saying i've skipped all the drama of dating, getting a girlfriend, getting engaged, getting married, and then getting separated/divorced .. and returned to being single again (using my brother as an example!)

Same here. Though my family would take this a step further and question whether or not I was a gay or not. mg: To which the pun: "If I was gay, I'd be happy" become my standard response.

But, aye, I'd rather avoid the dating scene and marriage altogether. Mainly because all the women I grew-up around turn out to bat-shit crazy, violent, miserable judgemental bitches. Needless to say, I've had ma fill of them.

I'm fully aware my experience isn't representative of wimmin, generally speaking. And I've got enough stress in ma life as is, without some wummin nagging me to be how she wants me to be... **** that! :thumbdown:

 

[Bronson99]

I'm fully aware my experience isn't representative of wimmin, generally speaking. And I've got enough stress in ma life as is, without some wummin nagging me to be how she wants me to be... **** that! :thumbdown:

I actually think this is the same viewpoint that will eventually help you find a woman... well, minus the insecurity (which all of us here struggle with.) Women like a man who's not afraid to be himself. Don't apologize for being you.. trust me, they're drawn to that. It sounds easy but it's anything but. Work toward it slowly.

 

[Graeme1988]

I actually think this is the same viewpoint that will eventually help you find a woman... well, minus the insecurity (which all of us here struggle with.) Women like a man who's not afraid to be himself. Don't apologize for being you.. trust me, they're drawn to that. It sounds easy but it's anything but. Work toward it slowly.

Oh, I know women are drawn to men not afraid to be themselves. My experience during high school made that obvious to me. But, sadly, I kinda feel my other issues - mainly my disability, trust issues and strained, dysfunctional family relations - don't make a relationship an option in the long term.

But I always feel I have to apologise for be me, anyway. Since I don't exactly "fit in" with society, overall. :idontknow: Kinda difficult being yerself when people are constantly judging, or making negative assumptions, about you for being just that.

 

[Hoth]

Mine is whenever they stop interrogating me. I'll keep giving them short answers but I'll be too stressed to ask anything back.

 

[Graeme1988]

Mine is whenever they stop interrogating me. I'll keep giving them short answers but I'll be too stressed to ask anything back.

Glad to know I'm not alone in doing this. Though, I give short to the point answers when being " interrogating".