What Keeps You Going?

206Raider

206Raider

Well-known member
Honestly, I don't know where this motivation came from stemming from last monday but even my psychiatrist says it doesn't last which I know already but it pisses me off slightly becuase I believe it can last but everyone else believes it won't like I got the world against me, usually it will come crashing down in the next few days, that's about the timeline for happiness in me - 2 weeks. I've been freaking productive though, I joined a gym yesterday, I've been going out everyday to do atleast SOMETHING and try to hang out with friends every weekend. I've been more social but if I start sitting around I think "well I've put in all this work and I don't have s*** to show for it". And what the hell is happiness anyway, I see people making a ton of money and have lots of friends and they are miserable. Getting SA under control is one thing but then what? Does getting a job and going to school make a difference? Will I just end up alone anyway? All questions I ponder as I write this. I guess maybe I'm afraid of trying my hardest to live the life I've always wanted and failing, it's what I'm used to. This isn't to say I'm giving up cause I'm not, not yet. I'm still going to continue to think productivly until I don't feel it anymore but I'm second guessing all of this at the moment. Sorry for the essay lol.
 
Rxqueen

Rxqueen

Well-known member
things that keep me going:
music
random entertainment: movies, books, television
family
a lack of knowledge of what else I should be doing

To be honest I have no idea what keeps me going...I thought I would have killed myself by the age of 20 but now I'm 22....
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
usually after i watch corner gas or curb your enthusiasm. shows that are really spontanious i feel alot better....or if is listen to music...drawing helps.
 
lithium

lithium

Well-known member
Music, the thought of a better, happier life, and the chance of falling in love again one day.
 
206Raider

206Raider

Well-known member
I feel like most of you, I don't quiet honestly know how I've survived as long as I have when the past couple years seem like misery. Something keeps me going and I'd like to know what it is, I'm always thinking ahead but I don't know if it will get better or worse. I'm terrified of the latter.
 
D

da_illest101

Well-known member
I still think there is stuff to see, to feel and experience. Joy wouldn't be so good if it wasn't for pain. Also i'm just scared of dying
 
C

chained

1
206Raider said:
I feel like most of you, I don't quiet honestly know how I've survived as long as I have when the past couple years seem like misery. Something keeps me going and I'd like to know what it is, I'm always thinking ahead but I don't know if it will get better or worse. I'm terrified of the latter.
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yeah, me either.. and I also worry, even if SA is overcome, what the hell after... but how do other ppl manage..:)
 
Nocer

Nocer

1
im pretty sure i was supposed to be dead a few years ago, i still dont know why the hell i am still alive. i probably have something important to do or whatnot.
 
C

cws971

Member
what keeps me going is my family and the wonderful girl friend i have... also trance music helps me find peace within my self and forget about everything. I wanna over come SA jus like all you people. some days are good and others really bad. Keep your head up' bcuz things are getting better "

' In the end what matters most is...

How well did you live '
How well did you love '
How well did you learn... to let go.


Trance is my Religion! lisen to these tracks.

YouTube - Ashley Wallbridge - I Believe (Sied van Riel Remix )

YouTube - Cosmic Gate Feat. Emma Hewitt - Not Enough Time (Extended Mix)

YouTube - Carl B - Social Suicide
 
nopark

nopark

Well-known member
I'm sorta at a point where I don't really care anyway. It's not so much an effort to keep going -- it's just coasting through so to speak. That feels like a cowardly thing, or lazy, but it's just the way things feel.

I end up creating arbitrary dates for myself. "Next week" I'll do this or that. But the time comes and I just don't have the energy or will to do it. I really hate it, I hate feeling weak and vagabond. And I hate complaining about feeling that way, and I hate complaining about complaining about it!

I always end up imagining what my mother might say or think if she read the things I write sometimes. She'd think I'm whining and need to get up and just do something. But knowing this and even agreeing with it doesn't make a difference. And that realization seems to imbue a sense of inadequacy deep down and makes it all worse.

Unlike some others here, I am not afraid of death. I am not even against suicide (your possible revulsion by this confession is not an uncommon reaction for me) -- the word doesn't carry negative nor positive connotations; I just see it as a personal choice. Life isn't intrinsically sacred or miraculous (existentialism).

So why, then, do I continue? Because there is a yearning to achieve something while I am here on this planet. My name will quickly be forgotten as soon as I'm buried. But even so, the thirst for some kind of life worth living is steadfast. I hope that one day I'll be able to overcome my many depravities long enough to make it all worth while.

Nocer said:
im pretty sure i was supposed to be dead a few years ago, i still dont know why the hell i am still alive. i probably have something important to do or whatnot.
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I'm not sure if you meant something specifically happened to you. But I felt the same way for no reason.

For years I always thought unquestionably that I'd be dead by 20. No reason for the thought; I didn't have a death wish or anything -- there was just some illogical, nagging feeling stuck in my head. It was always somehow morbidly comforting.
 
yohannes

yohannes

Well-known member
well what keeps us all going? I think deep down each and everyone of us want to survive.

What keeps me going is hope. Hope that even though today might be a bad day tomorrow would be better. Life us I come to realize it is full of mysterious and we simple won't know what will happen tomorrow. I know I want my life to be full of joy but life has both joy and sadness. Right now in my life I don't really mind things when they go wrong that it life. I don't have any motivation to live rather to experience life without any judgement or labeling something good or bad. We all going to die someday so I am just enjoying the ride without worrying that much about my SA. I am happy if I die alone or next to my family at list I had the opprtunity to expereince life.
 
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