What is a loser?

[OceanMist]

I seem to have weaved in and out of whether I am a loser or not. I'm at a stage where I really am kind of undecided on whether I am a loser. I don't know if I really even care that much anymore. Even if I am loser, that doesn't mean I can't succeed socially. What I've gotten to is more of a question about what, loser, even means?

It seems this "loser" word has become more slang than anything. If you think about it, the word isn't usually used to point out that someone is losing at something, which is what loser is defined as.

The word (loser) is often targeted at shy people as saying that we have no social life, but wait a sec, social life isn't a game. Life isn't a game. What are we losing at if there is no contest? Life isn't a competition. The goal of life is to make yourself happy, to enjoy life....not to be better than others.

I guess what these people (usually the outgoing people who happen to be the jerk type of outgoing people, not all are jerks obviously) are trying to say is that they are happier than us? What makes them so sure of that?

I've read about people on here who seem pretty darn happy with their life. Why do we have to have an active social life to be happier than someone else? What if winning at a video game gives me more joy than sitting in a room full of loud people talking about the same lame small talk? What if I enjoy drinking alone more than spending nights in a bar watching everyone else have fun?

It seems that many outgoing people seem to think that everyone should feel like them, and anyone who doesn't is a loser and must be unhappy.

Your thoughts? I plan on contributing more to this thread as I feel like I haven't gotten all my thoughts down on this subject yet.

 

[karl:-/]

Simple I think a person who has no sense of others feelings..

 

[x Will x]

The definition might be perceived differently by everyone who uses it because everyone has different perceptions of what the "game" is...
When someone calls you a "looser" they are establishing themselves as better in whatever perceptions they are so tied up in. They feel the need to do it to make up for there own insecurities.

 

[Lea]

A person who is unable to function in life & find work, severely depressed, lonely, no social support etc. - me.

 

[Labyrinthine]

I would figure this is a subjective term, in the sense that you're using it.
Personally, I would never consider someone a loser because they are quiet and shy. To me a loser is someone:
Who has no ambitions, that lives by taking advantage of others without any thought to the feelings of anyone else.
The type that sits around all day, everyday, blaming everyone else for their problems instead of actually doing something.
Abusers who take advantage of those less capable of defending themselves, to somehow feel better.

 

[Section_31]

Is there even a definition for this that has meaning?

this word only has power if you allow it.

 

[coyote]

this word only has power if you allow it.

exactly

it's just a generic putdown, used to insult someone

like ******* or *********** or even *******

it says more about the person using it than the person it is directed toward

why do they feel the need to insult someone or label them inferior?

 

[Facethefear]

It is the opposite of a winner. I would and have labeled someone as a loser if they have these negative personality traits: dishonest, rude, angry, delusional, sneaky, sadistic, nasty, thieving, pompous, snobbish, prejudiced, homophobic, lazy, selfish, violent, ignorant, sexist and greedy.
If a person exhibits any or all of the above non-qualities it doesn't matter, to me, how many people they socialize with or how popular they seem to be or how much money they have or what position of authority they hold.

 

[Section_31]

^ Oui! mon-ami!

 

[OceanMist]

Good responses.

I have noticed that most of you think a loser is someone who is anti-social. One of you believes that a loser is someone who is asocial.

I'm not saying anyone is wrong or right, that's just what I've seen on your responses.

The rest are kind of cavalier about the whole thing and think that the word doesn't have much of a meaning.

In my opinion, I have noticed that society seems to have a very broad view of the word, loser. They are quick to use it when they see asocial behavior. The difference is that the asocial people have to hear the word more whereas the anti-socials have to deal with more people who don't like them.

For any of you wondering:

Anti-social: a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood. Manipulative and hostile.

Asocial: indifference to or separation from society

What I think after is the responses is that society has developed slang words such as loser to find a way to insult people. As far as compensating for insecurities by using insults, I'm not sure about that.

I do think that people can say insulting things because they feel bad, but I also think that it's in an animals nature to show dominance, and a way to show that dominance is to put down an animal that you think is weak. As social beings, we often use words to display dominance. Is that insecurity, i don't know?

 

[Hellhound]

To me a loser is an abusive, manipulative person who uses others and doesn't care about anything but themselves.

 

[Facethefear]

^Je vous remercie de votre soutien mon ami.

 

[theslowesthand]

There may be a common theme for the term "loser", but generally i think everyone has their own definition for it.

Eg
Society sees you as loser
PersonA sees you as loser
PersonB doesn't sees you as loser
You see yourself as loser

So it's all about what/who you believe to be correct.
And it changes according to circumstances, activities, mood,..
Also to be exact, there are degrees of being a loser; its not yes or no, 1 or 0.

So taking all the above into account, i would say my (very approx) average of being/feeling like a loser is ~75%