What if you`re just ugly

[dyingtolive]

i agree with above ^ quote of Twiggles, 'ugly' is an ugly word.. and Tally, 'no one chooses the way they look.. but they are easily judged and seen as worthless for it..'

and agree with Kiahara.. you have to work harder...

the natural habit of ppl is to brush away ugliness when they see it, making them invisible. but whats worse are the ppl who like to make fun of others. being 'ugly' alone is one thing.. but its becoz of other people, it can be more horrible..

 

[mindflux]

Come to think of it, I`m doing the same thing here on this forum with this topic as people do when they post a picture and then say they`re ugly.

Dear god, I have a poor self esteeme!

 

[dyingtolive]

i think saying u think ur ugly is ok since u wanna express yourself.. and let it out.. i guess it just becomes unhealthy if it becomes too repetitive. i was taught before to express your 'feelings' instead of just the words. how does 'being ugly' make you feel? frustrated? angry? sad? cheated? and from there i was taught u can work on feeling better about it

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

There is a kids presenter on a BBC channel here with a missing lower arm. She just has a clean break of a stub where her elbow is. It never gets easier in terms of getting used to it. She has the most angelic face though, and has very warm and gentle mannerisms. Missing a limb doesn't seem to be a big deal to her because when some pathetic parents wrote the BBC to complaint that she is scaring the children, she was seen on the news saying she can't believe that in this day and age there are that kind of sad losers out there (and of course these weren't her exact words).

I wouldn't put it past people to complain about that at all.
My legal guardian has one arm. His other arm was pulled off in a heavy machinery accident when he was in his 20's.
There were far more than just a few times when we would be asked by police, by regular people, by 'parents' to leave a public place because he was 'scaring them'.
Scaring them by standing there?
He wore t-shirts that covered his scars; other than the long scars on his neck and collarbone that were difficult to cover... a shirt sags when you don't have a shoulder to hold it up with.

He went through pain every day. Phantom pains every night.
And being patronized and treated like a monster by people who thought he was 'scary looking' everywhere we went to try and have fun.
The beach, amusement parks, walking trails, festivals, school events...

He had a BIG heart. That man was around to raise me when no one else was.
There is nothing scary about him nor about his appearance.
Children should know that just because a person is 'legally handicapped' doesn't mean they are any different from everyone else.
Same courtesy should be given to everyone equally, no matter what you look like.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Also, people seem to use this as a measure of worth. If you are "ugly" then often you are seen as worthless or less than others. That doesn't make any sense to me. No one chooses the way they look, why should they be judged based on it?

Many people judge their own status on the perceived status of those they associate with. If they're seen around "pretty" people, and if they have a gf/bf who is considered conventionally attractive, then they feel they are more of a success. It's a self-perpetuating thing. Society considers "ugly" people to have less worth, therefore people are more reluctant to associate with "ugly" people, therefore "ugly" people are considered to have less worth....

 

[dyingtolive]

@ Weirdy,

sounds like one cool guy. im surprised to hear one armed people get alot of that negative treatment..

 

[dyingtolive]

@ Rembran

im trying to search for scientific based articles saying good looks are important. lol. coz i remember coming across them b4..

realistically, i think its not totally wrong to say that beauty can be more valuable than brains.. i mean IQ isn't that important these days.. u can get along fine with an avg IQ no need to be a genius. Kindness > Looks / Personality > Brains > Money can get you very far.. imo

 

[Opaline]

I wouldn't put it past people to complain about that at all.
My legal guardian has one arm. His other arm was pulled off in a heavy machinery accident when he was in his 20's.
There were far more than just a few times when we would be asked by police, by regular people, by 'parents' to leave a public place because he was 'scaring them'.
Scaring them by standing there?
He wore t-shirts that covered his scars; other than the long scars on his neck and collarbone that were difficult to cover... a shirt sags when you don't have a shoulder to hold it up with.

He went through pain every day. Phantom pains every night.
And being patronized and treated like a monster by people who thought he was 'scary looking' everywhere we went to try and have fun.
The beach, amusement parks, walking trails, festivals, school events...

He had a BIG heart. That man was around to raise me when no one else was.
There is nothing scary about him nor about his appearance.
Children should know that just because a person is 'legally handicapped' doesn't mean they are any different from everyone else.
Same courtesy should be given to everyone equally, no matter what you look like.

Sickening. People... ugh.

 

[Opaline]

All looks matter, whether you be attractive or not - and anyone who says they don't are glossing over the harsh reality of human nature. Some people are physically unattractive and will react adversely (or indifferently) because of it.

No one wants to be ugly - but the fact is - some people are.

You will be at a disadvantage and It means you have to work harder to win people over.

::::::

I don't know what the point of responding like this is, haha. Just makes me sad.

 

[KiaKaha]

Many people judge their own status on the perceived status of those they associate with. If they're seen around "pretty" people, and if they have a gf/bf who is considered conventionally attractive, then they feel they are more of a success. It's a self-perpetuating thing. Society considers "ugly" people to have less worth, therefore people are more reluctant to associate with "ugly" people, therefore "ugly" people are considered to have less worth....

I would agree with that - I saw a documentary about this very thing. Status is very very important to people these days, more so than buying food and looking after their children. People will even go as far as too adding attractive strangers on their facebook pages. Who wants to hang out with a bunch of ug....ahem...physically unattractive people? In fact...lets go a step further... who wants to associate with the dregs of society, the unemployed, the homeless, the mentally ill....? No one thats who. Its all about appearances and superficiality... and making yourself seem better and more successful than you really are.

 

[drganon]

I know I'm definitely not good looking. I'm nor horribly hideous either, but I'm not all that handsome either. Unfortunately I don't have any other qualities to make up for my looks like intelligence or creativity, so I'm pretty much guaranteed not to attract anyone of the opposite sex.

 

[EscapeArtist]

All looks matter, whether you be attractive or not - and anyone who says they don't are glossing over the harsh reality of human nature. Some people are physically unattractive and will react adversely (or indifferently) because of it.

No one wants to be ugly - but the fact is - some people are.

You will be at a disadvantage and It means you have to work harder to win people over.

It is more or less important to people, though. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". It's what kind of beauty is important to people that makes the big difference. For instance, beautiful is an energetic thing to me, and don't they say body language is more important than the design of your physical body anyways?

Also, being 'beautiful' is cool and all, but you can be equally as beautiful depending on how you adapt to hardships. A person who is deformed from a horrible accident can still be beautiful depending on how they handle it. In fact I think they are given the opportunity to be even more beautiful than somebody who has not faced the same hardship... It makes sense in nature too, doesn't it? That a person who can deal with some of the worst traumas (like losing a limb, as previously mentioned) will be more attractive because it's genetic security.

 

[ultra_materialist]

All looks matter, whether you be attractive or not - and anyone who says they don't are glossing over the harsh reality of human nature. Some people are physically unattractive and will react adversely (or indifferently) because of it.

No one wants to be ugly - but the fact is - some people are.

You will be at a disadvantage and It means you have to work harder to win people over.

Wow, you rule... I hate when people try to take my uglyness and put under some kind of "You are a nice guy..."

 

[SilentBird]

What's wrong with being average-looking?

 

[dyingtolive]

I like and agree w/ what EscapeArtist said, beauty is an "energetic" thing.
I feel happy for people who I know have hardships but somehow rise above it and make the best of what they've got.. And some people I don't know how they do it. On the other hand, I wish I could feel the same way about people who I judge as having no hardships.

Losing an arm I look at as a positive quality in a person. S/he probably had to endure hardships and therefore become a better person to cope..
i think any extremely goodlooking person though, if they become obese become ugly. no offense to anyone, i was fat once and this is just how i see and feel things. I don't judge obese people, but I would not become physically attracted to an obese woman. On the other hand, many not so good looking people can start working out and look good / sexy / better enough to be considered "not ugly" or even goodlooking. And this is also a positive quality because unlike natural born looks, you work for it.

You can change things physically about yourself, you may not change your face, but ugliness or beauty is also in the body, also in your energy. If you're a man, women may even find you more attractive if you had a "manly rugged ugly" face, instead of being a "pretty boy". Unless you have both an ugly face, have bad genes, and have a bad physical structure and physical health problems, then things get much harder..

But there are a lot of things I believe women / or men find attractive or sexy aside from just the face.. And vise versa, you can have a beautiful face but really ugly feet with 7 webbed toes each for example..
You can still work on the other things about your appearance that you can work on.. even just clothes, or really cool tattoos and cool hair.. Yeah its not real.. it's accessories, they're not you... but that's a silly line to draw.. you still become more goodlooking. period. there are many 'pretty ugly' people who know how to accessorize or present themselves so that they are totally the opposite, look at steven tyler.. ok he's a rock star.. but still if he wasn't he'd still look good. Look at Wendy o Williams of the Plasmatics... She is not pretty at all... But does she keep fit.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

What's wrong with being average-looking?

Nothing. After all, it is by definition what most people are.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

you can still work on the other things about your appearance that you can work on.. even just clothes, or really cool tattoos and cool hair.. Yeah its not real.. it's accessories, they're not you... but that's a silly line to draw.. you still become more goodlooking. period.

A good hair cut can go a long way. As well as good grooming, nice clothes. And it is very real. It is the way you choose to present yourself. Also, mannerisms. Appearing "confident." Ah, there it goes. Confidence really does make people more attractive. Just improving posture can do a lot. Well, that is what the magazines say: stand straight and look thinner and more confident!

 

[recluse]

I know i am not good looking but the worst thing is that i don't have the confident/outgoing personality to compensate. I have nothing that makes me shine so to speak.

 

[Waybuloo]

I find Peter Dinklage attractive because of his magnetic persona in-character. It works well with his naughty face. He is a dwarf.

 

[Kiwong]

Looks matter less and less to me, as I get older I seem to become more and more invisible. I'm OK with not being noticed. Looks were a pointless concern for most of my teens, twenties. I'm done with worrying about that hormone driven crap.