twiggle
Well-known member
Well, this is my thousandth post, and rather than fritter it away on the Word Association thread or something I thought I'd create a thread looking at the affects of SPW and what this site means to me, and then others can also share their experiences.
I'd spent 25 years feeling as though there was something a little strange about me. Though, on the surface my life can seem just like anybody else's - I socialise a lot (before I moved house anyway :-\), can converse with strangers and aside from this 2-month long phase of depression I'm usually very happy.
However, I've always known that there was something a little bit sensitive and odd about me. I worry a lot. I am almost neurotic about the things I like. I fear losing them. I get paranoid easily. I can spend very long spells of time thinking things over and over - something somebody did or said, and the various meanings or consequences it could have. I have been pained before by particular scenarios and always fear those kind of things happening again. I am too scared to even phone/message people sometimes for fear of not receiving a reply. Etc etc. Essentially, I have always felt as though, "nobody would understand this worry therefore I must be strange".
I found this site on Google one day after typing something in like, "How do I stop worrying?". Instantly, I felt relief - relief that I'm NOT a freak case for thinking how I do, relief that there WERE other people out there going through the same, and relief that finally I could have somewhere to talk about it without weirding off my friends.
The funny thing is, before I found this site, I would have been very, very reluctant to talk about my problems online. I'm afraid to say that I used to be one of those people who thought that anyone who needed to use a forum on the internet to try and solve their problems was a... well, I won't say, but it wasn't nice. I feel a little ashamed now of how ignorant I used to be about it.
A few posts in to this site and I was already learning a massive deal about people - there is so much that can be learned just by reading what people really think, and seeing what they say if they feel they can't say it anywhere else. Invaluable insight, you could say.
What I like the most is that everything written here is REAL and raw. People can be themselves here, and write what they really think. Nobody pretends to be what they're not - and this is good because its healthy for us. It's healthy because here, it opens the opportunity to speak with somebody who feels exactly the same as you do. I can't begin to describe just how helpful its been to know I'm not the only one who worries or lot, or gets irritable easily etc, I feel like less of an ogre. I like receiving advice, and I also like to give advice. I like to try and give suggestions to people when they have a problem because when you're standing from that angle you see possible solutions that you would be too blinded by the anxiety to see if you were the problem beholder yourself.
I'm not particularly proud of the fact I use this website as much as I do - obviously, I'd rather I didn't have S.A and so didn't need the site. And when I look back on this period of my life no doubt I will associate my depression with the colours navy and orange. But I am so pleased that, given the circumstances, I do post on here. Just to feel as though I'm not alone has made a huge difference. Being able to be honest and open has made a huge difference too. Hearing from people who've been in the same boat, but managed to get over it, has also been amazing!!
I haven't got over my S.A yet, but I know that I've made huge progress since I joined the site. Even though I'm currently depressed, I feel so much more at one with my thoughts and feelings - as though I understand myself a lot better now. I have goals and ambitions that were lacking before. I feel as though I am a building in need of refurbishment but having used this site I now know which areas are in the most need.
So thank you SPW - but most of all, thank you to ALL of you. I wrote on a thread earlier that another thing I like about this site is that we're all here to get better. I find more determination and motivation here than anywhere else. Why? Because no matter where we're from, how old we are or what we do - we're all in the same boat - and you people understand how things that can seem easy to anyone else (picking up a telephone, sending an instant message) can be a nightmare with S.A.
No matter what happens, I will always believe in an end to this - a positive end - the overcoming on this problem, for all of us just provided we stay determined.
I'd be interested to hear what SPW means to the rest of you and indeed if the site has helped you with your anxiety
I'd spent 25 years feeling as though there was something a little strange about me. Though, on the surface my life can seem just like anybody else's - I socialise a lot (before I moved house anyway :-\), can converse with strangers and aside from this 2-month long phase of depression I'm usually very happy.
However, I've always known that there was something a little bit sensitive and odd about me. I worry a lot. I am almost neurotic about the things I like. I fear losing them. I get paranoid easily. I can spend very long spells of time thinking things over and over - something somebody did or said, and the various meanings or consequences it could have. I have been pained before by particular scenarios and always fear those kind of things happening again. I am too scared to even phone/message people sometimes for fear of not receiving a reply. Etc etc. Essentially, I have always felt as though, "nobody would understand this worry therefore I must be strange".
I found this site on Google one day after typing something in like, "How do I stop worrying?". Instantly, I felt relief - relief that I'm NOT a freak case for thinking how I do, relief that there WERE other people out there going through the same, and relief that finally I could have somewhere to talk about it without weirding off my friends.
The funny thing is, before I found this site, I would have been very, very reluctant to talk about my problems online. I'm afraid to say that I used to be one of those people who thought that anyone who needed to use a forum on the internet to try and solve their problems was a... well, I won't say, but it wasn't nice. I feel a little ashamed now of how ignorant I used to be about it.
A few posts in to this site and I was already learning a massive deal about people - there is so much that can be learned just by reading what people really think, and seeing what they say if they feel they can't say it anywhere else. Invaluable insight, you could say.
What I like the most is that everything written here is REAL and raw. People can be themselves here, and write what they really think. Nobody pretends to be what they're not - and this is good because its healthy for us. It's healthy because here, it opens the opportunity to speak with somebody who feels exactly the same as you do. I can't begin to describe just how helpful its been to know I'm not the only one who worries or lot, or gets irritable easily etc, I feel like less of an ogre. I like receiving advice, and I also like to give advice. I like to try and give suggestions to people when they have a problem because when you're standing from that angle you see possible solutions that you would be too blinded by the anxiety to see if you were the problem beholder yourself.
I'm not particularly proud of the fact I use this website as much as I do - obviously, I'd rather I didn't have S.A and so didn't need the site. And when I look back on this period of my life no doubt I will associate my depression with the colours navy and orange. But I am so pleased that, given the circumstances, I do post on here. Just to feel as though I'm not alone has made a huge difference. Being able to be honest and open has made a huge difference too. Hearing from people who've been in the same boat, but managed to get over it, has also been amazing!!
I haven't got over my S.A yet, but I know that I've made huge progress since I joined the site. Even though I'm currently depressed, I feel so much more at one with my thoughts and feelings - as though I understand myself a lot better now. I have goals and ambitions that were lacking before. I feel as though I am a building in need of refurbishment but having used this site I now know which areas are in the most need.
So thank you SPW - but most of all, thank you to ALL of you. I wrote on a thread earlier that another thing I like about this site is that we're all here to get better. I find more determination and motivation here than anywhere else. Why? Because no matter where we're from, how old we are or what we do - we're all in the same boat - and you people understand how things that can seem easy to anyone else (picking up a telephone, sending an instant message) can be a nightmare with S.A.
No matter what happens, I will always believe in an end to this - a positive end - the overcoming on this problem, for all of us just provided we stay determined.
I'd be interested to hear what SPW means to the rest of you and indeed if the site has helped you with your anxiety
