What do you think goes on inside mean people

[KiaKaha]

You know the kind... nasty people with bad attitudes, or people who try to intimidate and dominate you, or people who just simply look at you (and everyone else) like you are the lowest form of life..
What would their mindset be like...? why would they be that way anyway...?

Mean people suck I say..

 

[Ignace]

They do suck. :: I think it's because they think everybody should be cool, outgoing, .. Everything they are. They don't understand us. I wouldn't even want them to understand me/us. If they act mean to me, I just do the same thing back. Everybody should do that. Because they think they can say whatever they want to us without us fighting/swearing back. Who the hell do they think they are ? They're not worth a dummy more than us.

 

[naks-bg]

I have a close relative that's like that. I can't stand him, but for a person to be like that they must of experienced something bad in their childhood to such a degree that it reflects on their behaviour later in life. Nobody is born with a bad attitude. It is something that is shaping during the develepment of that person. If he or she has experienced bad things in their life then it is very likely that they'll will adopt that mind set and live with it. No matter how mad I am at a person like that I have to take into account what made them like this. They obviously have issues that made an impact on their psychological state as a whole. So they are a victim of bad experiences just like you and me.

 

[Ignace]

I have a close relative that's like that. I can't stand him, but for a person to be like that they must of experienced something bad in their childhood to such a degree that it reflects on their behaviour later in life. Nobody is born with a bad attitude. It is something that is shaping during the develepment of that person. If he or she has experienced bad things in their life then it is very likely that they'll will adopt that mind set and live with it. No matter how mad I am at a person like that I have to take into account what made them like this. They obviously have issues that made an impact on their psychological state as a whole. So they are a victim of bad experiences just like you and me.

So they're a victim now ? Well I don't look at them that way. Having trauma's or any other negative experiences gives them the right to act mean to others ? A lot of them have the perfect life, what is wrong then ? Oooh, their parents divorced.. who hasn't divorced parents these days .. Deal with it !
Just my opinion.

 

[Kiwong]

Low self esteem, anger, insecurity. These people express their issues aggresively. They come from the fight end of the flight or fight response.

 

[planemo]

First off they're just people. They're not better than us. We tend to be different coz we keep our hostilities hidden, and they tend to act on it. If one person kills a bug and another lets it go, it doesn't mean the one who decided to kill it is better, stronger. It just means he is less worried about showing hostilities.

I have a cousin who loves seeing people down and out and struggling, and that's not an exaggeration. In time however I lost my fear of him, because he's not strong, he is just as weak or even weaker than I am. I keep my feelings hidden, he hides his own insecurities with aggression. At one stage he made my life a hell, because of my anxiety. He thought my unfortunate circumstances was the best thing since sliced bread. I was terrified of him, and him insulting and mocking me. He does the same to my other cousins, one has severe autism, the other dyslexia.

In time I realised that he isn't strong and nor am I weak. All this behaviour towards me is actually because he feels insecure around me and my cousins. There are things, physical and material, that we have that he doesn't. This makes him feel small around us, and he acts this way to mentally feel bigger.

And another thing to remember is that if you show you are intimidated, people will pounce on that. Never show them this. As I said, we keep in our hostilities, but that doesn't mean we should show we are inferior, coz we are not. Not being aggressive doesn't mean we are inferior. There is a difference in feeling you are inferior and just not being aggressive. The main thing is to understand people and yourself. If you do this, you will see that these mean people are more like you than you think.

 

[naks-bg]

So they're a victim now ? Well I don't look at them that way. Having trauma's or any other negative experiences gives them the right to act mean to others ? A lot of them have the perfect life, what is wrong then ? Oooh, their parents divorced.. who hasn't divorced parents these days .. Deal with it !
Just my opinion.

Well I have to say yes. Everything in life has a cause and human behaviour is not a constant. It is a variable and its changes are dictated by life itself. Negative experiences don't give them any right. But you're looking at it from the wrong perspective. Rights are made up by society. It's something that it is said you're not allowed to do to others. It is a norm for what is considered for normal functioning. You have to look into human nature to really understand it. We as beings will do anything to protect ourselves, be it physically or psychologically. If that person feels insecure they will try to compensate with something else. Like bullying on others and pick on people that they don't like. That's just THEIR way of DEALING with their issues. If you understand that you would see the reality of these things. They think they are something more than you, but in fact they are not.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

A number of reasons, here are a couple to start the ball rolling:

- They might be jealous of you, thinking that you are superior in some way and they feel threatened by it
- They don't understand why you can't do something or speak up, as it seems so easy for them, which in turns frustrates the sh*t out of them.

 

[EscapeArtist]

My guess would have to be that they are equally as insecure as us. Usually attitudes are passed down by parents. They may have been made to feel inferior to their parents, maybe they themselves were bullied by them, and they learned in this way to feel dominant again by following the pattern, taking the other side. Either this or they were neglected, feel worthless, and only feel as if they are anybody when they hurt others. They may love to hurt people because they're showing the world "what it feels like" when they think that nobody can understand. That's my guess

 

[Dronee]

It could be for as many reasons as there are 'mean people'. I think ultimately, it's either an adaptive behavior or a learned one from culture or upbringing/peers. Another possibility is that such behavior can work to their advantage in tangible terms (e.g. intimidating a colleague into submission as he's a competitor for promotion).

As to what exactly goes on in their heads, probably nothing much. Some may be trying to improve their behavior but others will be so used to behaving in such a way that it is given no more thought than breathing.

 

[DespairSoul]

First off they're just people. They're not better than us. We tend to be different coz we keep our hostilities hidden, and they tend to act on it. If one person kills a bug and another lets it go, it doesn't mean the one who decided to kill it is better, stronger. It just means he is less worried about showing hostilities.

I have a cousin who loves seeing people down and out and struggling, and that's not an exaggeration. In time however I lost my fear of him, because he's not strong, he is just as weak or even weaker than I am. I keep my feelings hidden, he hides his own insecurities with aggression. At one stage he made my life a hell, because of my anxiety. He thought my unfortunate circumstances was the best thing since sliced bread. I was terrified of him, and him insulting and mocking me. He does the same to my other cousins, one has severe autism, the other dyslexia.

In time I realised that he isn't strong and nor am I weak. All this behaviour towards me is actually because he feels insecure around me and my cousins. There are things, physical and material, that we have that he doesn't. This makes him feel small around us, and he acts this way to mentally feel bigger.

And another thing to remember is that if you show you are intimidated, people will pounce on that. Never show them this. As I said, we keep in our hostilities, but that doesn't mean we should show we are inferior, coz we are not. Not being aggressive doesn't mean we are inferior. There is a difference in feeling you are inferior and just not being aggressive. The main thing is to understand people and yourself. If you do this, you will see that these mean people are more like you than you think.

Hello Emu,

I like your post. U put really some good points!

I meet a lot of mean people in my live. And i hate this attitude. And exactly i show in front of those people what u say im intimidated face them meet them just anything what is connected with btw. Mean people for me evils i try avoid. Ofcourse as u say they see i act inferior and im intimidated they pounce on that! Exactly we shouldnt show us fear to them because they use him for victory. Is very hard dont show fear with anxiety.

Some people like your cousin are struggling alone inside and they are not affraid show bad attitude because they dont have prejudice. Because if they not show it superior acting will hurt them more inside as if they will be silence and back up as we do. They fight because they struggling but many of them just like it be superior and make them feel good if they feel power and can lower someone. I think they musted even never alive something bad in theirs live they just are SUPERIOR because they like it that way to be. Isnt because they envy something,or they just suffer because of personal issues.
I believe someone is just bad naturaly,agressive because he/she have fun of it make him feel good. People are superior because is fun for them like for someone play playstation. Nothing must be behind that. Specially if they see u are affraid of them this like we serve them us weakness and fear on the plate. We keep us hostilities yes this is right we keep it inside because we are affraid that we will lose this fight anyway. Atleast i do i keep it inside because i dont want to do to someone what hurt myself so much. I know is awful and i tend be really nice because i had a lot of pain. Is mean if i dont had pain i will be mean then like they are?I dont think so. Because those behavior make me vomit. I will never seat in bus and smile of someone clothes. I wasnt doing this even if i was child. I think is too about character properties what are influented genetic and neighborouhood where u grow up, but anyway u can be better person is up to everyone but they dont want to be better this is a fact.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

“Who can I **** with today who won’t **** with me back?”

 

[Ignace]

“Who can I **** with today who won’t **** with me back?”

+1. You can really live in, in persons.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

The possibilities are endless, I'd say. This will sound trite, but I believe that people who are actively cruel to others are somehow lacking something or are themselves hurting. Otherwise, I believe that being mean is part of being human. Show me a person who claims to never have been mean and I'll show you someone who is full of ****. So let's please not forget that we are not so innocent ourselves. We would be doing ourselves a great injustice.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

First off they're just people. They're not better than us. We tend to be different coz we keep our hostilities hidden, and they tend to act on it. If one person kills a bug and another lets it go, it doesn't mean the one who decided to kill it is better, stronger. It just means he is less worried about showing hostilities.

God bless you.

 

[Untamed88]

So they're a victim now ? Well I don't look at them that way. Having trauma's or any other negative experiences gives them the right to act mean to others ? A lot of them have the perfect life, what is wrong then ? Oooh, their parents divorced.. who hasn't divorced parents these days .. Deal with it !
Just my opinion.

Agreed.
If you have bad experiences in your life a nice person would become a nicer person to prevent others feeling as sh!t as they do. Only a mean person would bring others down too.