What do we want ladies?

[Agent_Violet]

I want to know what we want in love. Do you think SA plays a role in your needs when it comes to love?


I prefer someone who shares EVERYTHING about themselves with me without holding back just because they're afraid of being judged or disliked.

I need honesty.
i need someone who gives me the same amount of respect I give to them.
I need someone who can learn and grow with me instead of being sullen and sulky when I progress in mind and spirit ahead of them.
I need someone who can be deep with meaning but also someone who knows when to be funny.

I need loyalty...someone who doesn't throw me under the bus just because they want to look good. I want someone who isn't afraid to stand up to me and tell me when I'm being a jerk.

I need someone who will talk things out with me instead of avoiding conflict.

I need someone who will put our relationship first above all other things.

I need someone who understands it's not the quanitity of time spent...it's quality of time spent.

I've found most of these qualities in my husband but as time goes by, he slips further and further into being someone else and he's losing many of the qualities i value.


But that's not the point of the post...point of the post is finding out EXACTLY what attracts you to a man other than physical or monetary things.

leave physical out of it bc that's such a changeable thing...I want to know about the inside stuff.

What does it take for a man to get your attention?

do you prefer the ' in your face' uber masculine approach??
do you prefer the softer spoken gentleman who does little things to grab your attention?

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I have a fondness for quiet nerdy types. I have also dated the confident, gregarious guys; I am attracted to what they can offer, like somehow those traits they have that I lack will rub off on me or something. Right now I am in a relationship with a quiet guy and it is just so hard to get him out of his shell. You can say we are too alike, with him being even shyer than me!

So, what do I want in a man? A lot of the things you mentioned are right on: honesty, communication, support. I want someone to experience life with-to go on dates with, family gatherings without him embarrassing me or being jerky to others. Someone who tips well. Ugh, actually, what I really want is an outgoing guy, so someone opposite of me. So, he can bring me out of my shell. I don't want a solitary life with my partner. I want to do things with others. Group activities. I don't want to have to beg someone to go do something with me.

I want someone who can stand up for himself. Who knows what he wants. It would be a plus if he were into things I like. Someone who is not picky about the food he eats. Someone who initiates things. Just someone who I can be silly with and talk about all the nonsense that goes on in my head. Someone I can do things with. I just want to go out!!!!! (Ahh, my post is all over the place. Maybe this post will make more sense if I explain a little bit about the relationship I am in. I have been in a long distance relationship for a couple years now. I don't get to do the things regular couples do like see my man, ha. I only get to see him a couple times a year. And him being closed-minded and guarded about his feelings doesn't help. We have been arguing so yeah.)

SA definitely plays a role; it is the reason I am in a LDR in the first place

 

[Agent_Violet]

it's ok to be all over the place. sometimes it's hard to pin down what we want in order of importance. I mean, it's your life that you're sharing with someone...of course it's going to be really tough to pinpoint exactly what you need from them.

i think you did a great job though!

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

it's ok to be all over the place. sometimes it's hard to pin down what we want in order of importance. I mean, it's your life that you're sharing with someone...of course it's going to be really tough to pinpoint exactly what you need from them.

i think you did a great job though!

Thanks :: I guess I concentrated on all those things my relationship/man is currently lacking. Tsk, tsk, I am so mean. He could probably write a bigger list, ha. Sometimes it just feels like he doesn't care. I need someone to care; that is #1 on the list!

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I'm not attracted to anyone-- man or woman, these days.
There was a time when I just hit puberty that I did like a boy and we dated for 8 years.
What attracted me to him?
He accepted me. He talked to me when things bothered him. He was kind to me and stood up for me.

The first time I noticed him was when our class was playing soccer and someone got hit in the face-- everyone laughed and he was the only person to go over to make sure the kid was alright, and asked; "Do you need the nurse?"

I don't know what my preference is now because no one has had my attention aside from him and I'm wondering if it was just a fluke.

I think I could definitely agree with Violet on all points.
-To make a relationship last, you have to be able to openly communicate with your partner and know that they won't be mad with everything you say; take it the wrong way or freak out.
-Quality time over quantity.
I was always okay with just getting some couch time after dinner/before bed.
We were busy people and I was okay with that.
-I could never be with a person if they are rude to people.
Especially not servers in a restaurant-- I would never stand for that.
I was a waitress for years; you work hard, get crappy pay and people treat you like garbage even though you're the person handling their food.
It's ridiculous.
Anyone who is serving you is doing YOU a favour and you should be thankful. If you have a problem with the service- there's no need to be insulting or mean; being constructive is important.
-A lasting relationship means work.
If you're not willing to put in the effort, then there's no reason to be in the relationship in the first place.
It's a matter of respecting your partner and trying your best and communicating.
-Loyalty is respect, in my opinion.
I respect people; especially my partner and am as loyal as loyal gets.
I'd expect the same in return and if I didn't get it, even after communicating on problems and working on it; I would have to leave for my own sanity.
I deserve someone who will be as loyal as I am.

- as a last thing, I'd like to stress 'someone who accepts me'; as I am not a party person.
I don't smoke or drink or do drugs and I can't see myself falling for anyone who expects me to change any of those things just so I can spend time with them.
I've got an expiration date.
They'll have to accept that as well... although I know it's hard to do, as my only mate couldn't and ended up leaving because of it.
It's a hard thing, knowing your partner is sick and will die but it's not something I can change.
Accept me the way I am and I will always accept you.

 

[Tiercel]

*pulls out his Manbook and starts writing notes in the margins*

Manbook = Man Handbook

 

[Agent_Violet]

I'm not attracted to anyone-- man or woman, these days.
There was a time when I just hit puberty that I did like a boy and we dated for 8 years.
What attracted me to him?
He accepted me. He talked to me when things bothered him. He was kind to me and stood up for me.

The first time I noticed him was when our class was playing soccer and someone got hit in the face-- everyone laughed and he was the only person to go over to make sure the kid was alright, and asked; "Do you need the nurse?"

I don't know what my preference is now because no one has had my attention aside from him and I'm wondering if it was just a fluke.

I think I could definitely agree with Violet on all points.
-To make a relationship last, you have to be able to openly communicate with your partner and know that they won't be mad with everything you say; take it the wrong way or freak out.
-Quality time over quantity.
I was always okay with just getting some couch time after dinner/before bed.
We were busy people and I was okay with that.
-I could never be with a person if they are rude to people.
Especially not servers in a restaurant-- I would never stand for that.
I was a waitress for years; you work hard, get crappy pay and people treat you like garbage even though you're the person handling their food.
It's ridiculous.
Anyone who is serving you is doing YOU a favour and you should be thankful. If you have a problem with the service- there's no need to be insulting or mean; being constructive is important.
-A lasting relationship means work.
If you're not willing to put in the effort, then there's no reason to be in the relationship in the first place.
It's a matter of respecting your partner and trying your best and communicating.
-Loyalty is respect, in my opinion.
I respect people; especially my partner and am as loyal as loyal gets.
I'd expect the same in return and if I didn't get it, even after communicating on problems and working on it; I would have to leave for my own sanity.
I deserve someone who will be as loyal as I am.

- as a last thing, I'd like to stress 'someone who accepts me'; as I am not a party person.
I don't smoke or drink or do drugs and I can't see myself falling for anyone who expects me to change any of those things just so I can spend time with them.
I've got an expiration date.
They'll have to accept that as well... although I know it's hard to do, as my only mate couldn't and ended up leaving because of it.
It's a hard thing, knowing your partner is sick and will die but it's not something I can change.
Accept me the way I am and I will always accept you.

great stuff

my favorite is the acceptance. It's such an important mutual need. to accept and be accepted.

 

[Agent_Violet]

*pulls out his Manbook and starts writing notes in the margins*

Manbook = Man Handbook

lol ur funny

::

 

[Agent_Violet]

i look for / want many of the qualities that have been mentioned by the above posters.

i'd also like to add:
someone who doesn't treat me like a shameful little secret.

OH that is such a good one to add! when i was in high school i dated this guy who would only talk to me when no one else was around. we'd only go out to places where we didn't know anyone..it was HORRIBLE. but i really liked him and didnt have better self esteem so i let him do this.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Leela: The thing is, Fry is very sweet, but he's so immature. I love his boyish charm but I hate his childishness.

Zoidberg: So he's not perfect. You don't wanna end up old and lonely like Zoidberg! [He cries then suddenly stops.] You were saying?

::

 

[Illusions]

I want to know what we want in love. Do you think SA plays a role in your needs when it comes to love?


I prefer someone who shares EVERYTHING about themselves with me without holding back just because they're afraid of being judged or disliked.

I need honesty.
i need someone who gives me the same amount of respect I give to them.
I need someone who can learn and grow with me instead of being sullen and sulky when I progress in mind and spirit ahead of them.
I need someone who can be deep with meaning but also someone who knows when to be funny.

I need loyalty...someone who doesn't throw me under the bus just because they want to look good. I want someone who isn't afraid to stand up to me and tell me when I'm being a jerk.

I need someone who will talk things out with me instead of avoiding conflict.

I need someone who will put our relationship first above all other things.

I need someone who understands it's not the quanitity of time spent...it's quality of time spent.

I've found most of these qualities in my husband but as time goes by, he slips further and further into being someone else and he's losing many of the qualities i value.


But that's not the point of the post...point of the post is finding out EXACTLY what attracts you to a man other than physical or monetary things.

leave physical out of it bc that's such a changeable thing...I want to know about the inside stuff.

What does it take for a man to get your attention?

do you prefer the ' in your face' uber masculine approach??
do you prefer the softer spoken gentleman who does little things to grab your attention?

Funny, the sort of man who appeals to me is a mixture of the two. I'm attracted to the masculine, intelligent type who expresses their interest very subtly. I dunno, I guess I get a kick out of trying to figure out whether he's interested, haha!

But like you, Agent_Violet, I'd prefer if they were completely open with me (in fact, I agree with every single one of your "I need"s! ). I dunno whether SA has anything to do with it, but I'm the sort who will only start to open up only after the other party does it first, so I'd say it's necessary.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Funny, the sort of man who appeals to me is a mixture of the two. I'm attracted to the masculine, intelligent type who expresses their interest very subtly. I dunno, I guess I get a kick out of trying to figure out whether he's interested, haha!

But like you, Agent_Violet, I'd prefer if they were completely open with me (in fact, I agree with every single one of your "I need"s! ). I dunno whether SA has anything to do with it, but I'm the sort who will only start to open up only after the other party does it first, so I'd say it's necessary.

I think it's nice to have that sort of strong,silent type of man...ya know, the guy everyone thinks is mysterious and cool but then when he's with you he shows his goofy,dorky side.

I LOVE those kind of men! lol it makes me feel special that they only show their full self to me and let the world see the quiet,mysterious side.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

I think it's nice to have that sort of strong,silent type of man...ya know.

Right, my ears are burning. Who's talking about me?

 

[BlueDays]

Integrity.
The ability to empathize.
To treat their partner with the same level of respect they want to be treated with.
Does not have the desire to control their partner.

 

[Beatrice]

I've got an expiration date.
They'll have to accept that as well... although I know it's hard to do, as my only mate couldn't and ended up leaving because of it.
It's a hard thing, knowing your partner is sick and will die but it's not something I can change.

::

If you don't want to talk about it I TOTALLY understand, but.... may I ask what exactly you have?

This really caught me. I know I don't know you personally, obviously not outside of the Internet, but I do read your posts on here and I feel sad knowing one day they won't be there.....

Oh god, I think I'm going to cry. I'm all sentimental tonight.

Anyway..... I am so sorry ::::

 

[fitftw]

my girlfriend seems to want to go out, and I never like to leave the house. Not sure how long it'll work for...she says she's okay with it...

 

[BlueDays]

Pssh, you people don't know what you want.

Thats not true for all of us Tino.
I know exactly what I want.

 

[¯\(º_o)/¯]

I've got an expiration date.
They'll have to accept that as well... although I know it's hard to do, as my only mate couldn't and ended up leaving because of it.
It's a hard thing, knowing your partner is sick and will die but it's not something I can change.
Accept me the way I am and I will always accept you.

I find this sad, if I found out my girl was gonna die, id do everything in my power ti give her the fullest life she deserves, then again she doesn't have to be dying, id wanna do that anyways lol