Does your girlfriend know you aren't in a strictly committed relationship?
What do females think of males who....
- Thread starter coyote
- Start date
coyote
Well-known member
i'd been with about 30 different partners by the time i was 24
it wasn't about racking up numbers - just about exploring what the world had to offer - learning who i was and what i liked
things changed when I met someone I wanted to devote myself to
I've only been with 3 women in the last 22 years - and i was married to two of them
coyote
Well-known member
Does your girlfriend know you aren't in a strictly committed relationship?
her idea, not mine
I've never really understood that sort of thing. I don't think I could deal with being in a relationship like that. If it works for you-- hell, have fun! I just don't think I could do it.
coyote
Well-known member
she wants her independence
and i respect that
it's complicated
we both have our own issues
relationships aren't always perfect
U
userremoved
Guest
Your social anxiety has never gotten in the way with getting with all those women? You dont act like a complete weirdo or have awkward silences, clumsiness or down right creepiness at all? The idea boggles my mind.
coyote
Well-known member
Your social anxiety has never gotten in the way with getting with all those women? You dont act like a complete weirdo or have awkward silences, clumsiness or down right creepiness at all? The idea boggles my mind.
are you kidding?
all the time - it's really really hard for me
everyone has their breaking point, though
some people are too anxious to leave their homes - and yet they HAVE to go to the store to get cigarettes
somehow I have managed to work up the courage on occasion to risk it all for something that I can't live without - female companionship
i recognize now that, because of my anxiety, i probably settled too quickly into a relationship with my first wife
i like to joke that i kept avoiding breaking up with her - kept meaning to get around to it, but couldn't bring myself to
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U
userremoved
Guest
Darn it, I need to travel back in time and join the USMC so we can hang out.
coyote
Well-known member
dottie
Well-known member
i don't prefer a huge age difference but i prefer males who are at least my age or older.
as long as that is in the past and he's monogomous now that is all i care about. it's totally ok to live it up when you're young! that is the time to explore and learn about yourself and others! idk if i want to even know the number my partner has slept with... unless they are inexperienced. that would be undesirable to me. so: don't ask, don't tell!
as someone who hasn't been married it's not what i prefer. BUT i wouldn't not date a guy because of it if he was older.
i think of him as taken and an invitation to STDs, no offense. but who knows who she is sleeping with. i'd rather be alone than worry if a guy is with some other female and giving me STDs. i stay far, far away.
dood. you are hillarious. your posts always make me LMAO. you are highly intelligent, you have great bone structure, you have interesting hobbies. there are definitely women who would want you. just not if you have some semi-girlfriend.
*Amy*
Well-known member
It's forbidden to complain with an experience such as yours!
matthew_
Active member
It's impossible to compare anything when it comes to social phobia or any mental disorder.
That said, being 27, good looking myself, yet never having had a relationship due to it being literally impossible (social phobia is a huge roadblock in that area). It's partly depressing to me, and partly very hard to relate to. I always presumed that having severe social phobia and having limited relationships/chances at them was part of the package deal. However you seem to have an interesting combination of social phobia meets the ability to pick up/and then maintain on an extremely proactive level. Which seem kind of at odds with eachother.
I keep picturing that once in a relationship, that the social phobia would become far less of a deal, since a lot of the fears are kind of alleviated in the process of that relationship. Or something in that ballpark.
That said, being 27, good looking myself, yet never having had a relationship due to it being literally impossible (social phobia is a huge roadblock in that area). It's partly depressing to me, and partly very hard to relate to. I always presumed that having severe social phobia and having limited relationships/chances at them was part of the package deal. However you seem to have an interesting combination of social phobia meets the ability to pick up/and then maintain on an extremely proactive level. Which seem kind of at odds with eachother.
I keep picturing that once in a relationship, that the social phobia would become far less of a deal, since a lot of the fears are kind of alleviated in the process of that relationship. Or something in that ballpark.
uhmm_doh
Member
I agree, the lack of experience is not a cause, but an effect of low self-esteem.
they can have troubles, troubles a lot worse than social anxiety.
it probably wont, but it'll certainly make things a lot better. someone else on this thread posted that he or she has in the past engaged in friends with benefits arrangements to feel desired or to overcome loneliness . atleast it's a temporary solution to boost your self-esteem. the fact that you have the ability to do that can improve self-esteem too.
i agree it's not going to magically cure, but it can certainly help.
better to have loved, and then lost, than to have never loved at all.
yes, i know that's debatable, and i respect your point of view.
feeling wanted by the opposite sex (or the same sex if you're gay) is the most basic human need. so i disagree with pretty much everything you've said. so much so that holding a woman's hand will improve my self esteem. i stopped dreaming about sex a long time ago. i think i'd cry if i ever got to that stage.
uhmm_doh
Member
i know the answer to that is, improve your self-esteem and you'll get to that stage. chicken and egg.
U
userremoved
Guest
You took the words right out of my mouth. Like you said...everyone wants to feel desired at some point, but if you've never been desired how can you have a good self image? Are you supposed to conjure it out of nowhere and hope for the best? True it doesn't solve SA but if you've had relationships in the past, failed or not, the next time you go to talk to someone you're interested in you can always say to yourself "People have loved me before, so its possible to be loved again". But if you're going off of nothing, you just have to hope people will like you, in that way. Even my therapist told me that, he said its much easier when you have past successes to encourage yourself.
of course it would help with the self steem,it would help a lot to have someone who will love you,stand by your side,be there when you get home and get old with,this is up there with people saying that we shouldnt use relationships to be happy,but it does help a lot,they only say because everybody says it,but those same people are always in a relationship,searching or whatever.