This big fat lad and his friend hound me with it on an almost daily basis. The n-word, Paki. Comparing my appearance to a monkey. But that stop once my older sister complained to the school. They mocked my physical disability as well.
But I got my own back on him years later when he started on me again during secondary school though. One day during lunch break, after he constantly try to get my attention and my mates who I was sitting with telling me to just ignore him, I just responded by shouting him over to my table. First thing I say to the big lad:
“Awrite, big man? Take a seat. In fact, take that yin as well...”
Which got a unexpected laugh from his friend. I then proceeded to tell how hellish he made my early school life, in middle of this, he asks me if I was done n’ go: “Aye, hold on... The pie and chips are just over there anyway”, nodding my head in the direction of the cafferia. He says nothing, but I heard one of my mates whispers to the other: “Eh, did he just say that...?” Then erupting in laughter. After he apologises to me for how he treated me in the past, I shake his hand and say sorry for all the things I just said. And that I was just proving my point, the big guy just laugh it off, saying he kinda deserved it anyway.
Another time during secondary school, this boy who I befriend that was a couple years younger than me - and also physically disabled - was getting picked on by another lad who was in a few of the same class as him. One day, again during lunch break, unknown to me, this lad sits at the table directly opposite us, and just starts with the name calling... whispering “You’re a spastic”, clapping quietly and saying it again.
I lean into Daniel, the boy whom this remark is directed at and asking if that the boy who’s been bullying him. He confirms that it is, and that the boys sitting to the left and right of the boy taunting us, are also in a few of the same classes as Daniel. Daniel then asks if I’m going to batter them, and I go:
”Nah! Worse than that... Watch this!”
So wait until this wee chant begins again, and before the lad does for umpteenth time, I go:
”Hey! Sorry to interrupt, but did you just say “You’re a spastic”?”
“Eh? Ah wus talking to him, not you!”
“Aw, so you admit it, then?”
“Huh!? Admit what?”
“That you’re a spastic? That is what ye said, right?”
“What? Nay response or witty comebacks?”, I asked. This lad is just sitting there, frowning at me. So, I break the tension by saying:
”Eh, that’s not a good look. If a gust o’ wind blows your direction while looking like that yer face might stay that way forever”
Daniel finally goes at that point, head in his hands, laughing. Finally, as the boy who had been taunting us gets up to leaving the cafeteria with his mates, he has a comeback: “Duh! F*ckin’ Paki”. Without missing a beat I responded with...
”Ha! Built-in sun tan, ya daft mong!”
Oh, and there’s a few other incidents during primary school. A lad just a younger than me was mocking the way I walk due to my disability, this was after school as I’m making my way to my oldest sister’s car, she come to pick me up. My friend at the time, Scott tells me to keep walking, just ignore it. But, no, I turn march up to the boy, who had the old moptop hairdo and wore glasses.
”Say that again! Tae ma face this time. C’mon! Call me a mong again, specky. C’mon!”
“Graeme, just leave it!”
“So, just let him saying it behind ma back then?! Naw! Don’t thinks so!”
After waiting for what seemed like ages, I go: “Can I try on yer glasses?”, grabbing then before a response is even given. Put them on, and ask my friend: “How do I look? D’they suit me?” Then, before handing them back, I deliver a right hook to the jaw of the boy who just mocked me. BOOM! Down he goes, like a bag of spuds. And I just... walk away. Unaware that 3 teachers have just witnessed the latter part of this confrontation out of context. Just me belting some younger lad in the gob for no apparent reason.
They’re yelling at me to come back and say sorry. But I keep on walking, and getting into my sister’s car, pissed off look on my face. My oldest sister asks me what’s wrong put I say nothing. My mate then knocks on the car door at my passenger side, I wind down the window to him laughing and saying: “You’re gonnae be in trouble tomorrow”. My sister again asks what happened, my friend jumps in the back seat and recounts the whole incident. Then she looks at me again and asks:
”Is that true, Graeme?”
“Serves him right”, she says. Very matter of fact about it. “And, at least ya hud the decency to take him glasses off first. That wus good o’ ye” This got a laugh. Then my older sister who sitting behind the driver’s side in the back goes: “Ah cannae believe... did you really dae that, Graeme?” And my friend just goes: “Aye! Ah wus standing right next tae ‘em as he did it! Graeme, can we tell Dougie and Steven about this during break the morra? That’s if you’ve got detention. They’re gonnae huv a right laugh...”
Next day, I apologise to the boy in the playground, in front of the teacher who saw me hit him. Then Scott and his mate Douglas come up to us and ask about what happened, and we laugh about it.
And the final incident was 18 year ago, during the spring, when I total snapped. The older brother of one of my classmates was giving me grief for months up to this point. Him and his 2 friends. So, after a back and forth of him asking me if I’d retaliate if he hit me, I get sucker punched in the gut and spat on.
Aww... gonnae cry n’ tell the teacher, are ye?”
I then proceed to punch him in the stomach, and take him down to a knee by grabbing him in arm lock.
”Ah, my arm!”
. And with that, he’s f*ckin’ scream loud enough that now the whole playground are baring witness to this 12 year old skinhead getting his arse handed to him.
To the right of me, in my peripheral vision, I see one of MacKenzie’s mates, this fat, curly haired lad - is fixing to punch me upside the head. But I look up quick enough, and bellowed: “Didnae even... !! You were gonna hit me there, weren’t ya?!” As I’ve still got his mate crying on one knee. Next thing he starts begging and pleading for me not to hurt him. Which I DON’T. Pointing out that I could’ve done so within mere seconds of grabbing him. So, I let him go, and knee him in the left-ribs as he drops to the tarmac, blubbering.
I’m still in fowl mood. Red-faced, running of adrenaline and rage. So, I decided might as well make the most of the attention and start picking a fight with the chubby who came close to hitting me in the back of the head.
C’mon then, fatty! What you gonnae do - eat me?! If ah hit you will you hit me back? C’mon! Square go. Look! I’ll even make it easy - hands behind my back. Go! No? Okay, I’ll shut. My eyes. Well, then? What’s ya waiting for, take a shot. Didn’t think so!”
And last of this trio is just standing a few feet from three of my classmates who are witnessing all this, dumbfounded. I shout him over, no response. I shout again, ”Hey, Bobby? C’mere!”. Still nothing... I finally get pissed off and march right up to him, telling him I haven’t got all day.
”Aye! Yer not so tough now, are ye? Don’t you... ever try that with me again! Got that?! Same goes fur you, MacKenzie!”
“Ah think you’ve broken my arm?”
“Aye right! Ah didnae hear it break, sorry. And you’d know if I had... cuz you wouldnae clutching it like that. Now, pick him up, and get tae! Away n’ tell a teacher, I’m sure they’ll believe ya”
With that, I walk over to my 3 classmates, Steve, Scott and Douglas and breakdown in tears. Crying, slumped against the steel fence that leads out into the car park. :crying:
”You awrite, Graeme?”, Scott asks
“Eh, aye... Did ye no just see that, Scott?”, Douglas says, shocked
“Where did that come fae, man?! Whoa! Bet they didnae expect that?”, Steven says, not quite believing what I just did.
Douglas just laughs and reassure me that: “Well, one things certain: They’ll no be bothering you again, Graeme. EVER!” ”D’ye think I’ll get in trouble?”
“Naw! No efter that... Nay chance!”
Oh, I am Scottish! But, due being mixed race - African father, white Scottish mother - and light skinned that made most of my racist bullies just automatically assume that I was from Pakistan. mg:
Which reminds of the only other genuinely funny incidents when I managed to outsmart a group of lads who kept coming up to me during the morning interval and go: “Why don’t you go back ya came from?”. Then, when bell rang to go back inside to class, as I’m making my way there I get stopped by a group o’ lads on football pitch who yell to me:
”Hey! Hey, paki, where ya going?! Home?!” They’re aw laughing.
I just responded with monotone sarcasm: “Very funny. Aye, that’s right lads, I’m gan home... at 11 o’clock in morning, cuz why bother coming here? Where d’ye think!? It’s the end of break! Did yous no hear the bell? Or are ye deaf as well as dumb like? Oh! And if ah wus gan hame, ah live just up the road so didnae huv far tae walk. Whit?! Aw, d’you lot think ah get a boat tae school every morning or summit?”
Aye, ah know... I had quite a gob on me when it came to answering back when I was younger. Got slapped in the face by a lassie who was in the same year as me during secondary school because of my sarcastic wit. :bigsmile:
Oh and another incident that was worth saying is this Greek girl in gr. 7 had come up to me and asked 'How long did it take you to do that?' (a project) and i replied and then she said 'Oh' and had this stare like she thought i wasn't good enough. At that time i thought she was white so she looked better than me but after a long time later i started to focus on how i thought of others and not only how others thought of me and i thought about it and i don't think she was pretty.
I always remember when i were in science class with like 25 other students and there was a group talking about who they were going to prom with ( they were sat right next to me) and this girl who was just awful to me all through school shouted out "you don't want to be stuck going to the prom with emma do you" and the whole class fell silent and looked at me, i had to hold back the tears and walk out of the class
I remember being pushed to the ground and hit at and hair pulled when I was 13. This girl in my group had a lesbian mother and she was all open about it. So I come to school, walk up to the group with good intentions and just mention the Mardigrass (gay parade in Sydney) and if her mum watched it. There was no intentions there - I jsut put two and two together without thinking. Next thing I know, I was on the ground lol.
I was lucky to never really get bullied. But that was physical.
Even tho I wasnt bullied in highschool, I did get my fair share of mental and sexual abuse from a man when I was 24 (he was 29). And even tho that was only a year in my life, I lived with the repercussions of it for over 8 years.
Things that happen to us tho as a teenager - stick out more in a our adult life. I guess the way to get over traumas is to talk them out over and over again to a person or people and at the same time try to burn those old bad feelings by creating new ones and working on self esteem.
- Calling me *****/faggot and all kind of homosexual insults (funny thing is that some of them told me they were gay but by insulting me everyone forgot about them, they were safe so to speak of...instead of helping me to stop those shitheads, they joined them :/)
- Spitting on me
- Telling others not to get close/talk to me because i was a fag (like it's contagious)
- Trying to force me to get naked in the locker room
- Grab me by the neck and try to steal the keys of my house (5 ppl against me)
- Pushing and hitting me (not strong, like they were not trying to hurt but to despise me)
- Following me everywhere without saying a word to intimidate me
- Asking constantly if i was gay (not politely)
- There was a group that always threw a basketball ball at my head everytime
they saw me.
- Looking at me and start laughing in a mocking way
- Rejection, no one wanted to be with me during group works
- ***There was this guy with whom i always talked about videogames (he loved Metroid xD) and star wars and had a blast together, always laughing, i really liked him (as a friend, not in a sexual way). He was also into sports and played basketball and had a lot of friends but the fact that he wanted to be with me during breaks (we werent in the same class) made me feel like maybe i was not that horrible after all. Unfortunately we didnt keep in touch outside school, i asked for his number once in order to do stuff after classes were finished but he said his father didnt let him to (maybe that was the reason but a part of me always thought that he finally heeded all those comments about staying away from me, dunno), anyway eventually my darkest time (so dramatic!) started and i dropped out of that school so i lost all contact with him. Losing what i thought was my only friend didn't help much.
Sorry for all the writting but i just remembered what would be like my little heaven inside hell and wanted to share it, fortunately for you, i rarely do it :bigsmile: ***
- Make me hate myself for a long time (no longer thankfully tho i still feel
uncomfortable around others)
- Isolation (still working on it)
- SA (still working on it)
- Prevent me from enjoying life at its fullest and avoid stuff i'd like to do because of fear (still working on it)
- There's a saying that says: the worst thing a bad person can do to you is to make you not trust on the good ones (i'm translating from spanish, maybe it's different in other languages) and i'm aware that that has happened to me, i've rejected good ppl out of fear (AGAIN still working on it)
I know that some of those things on this list will remain forever "still working on it" because something inside me is broken and cannot be fixed so i just have to learn how to live with it and will be an everyday struggle
I also know there are ppl with greater problems out there so this is not a list of the worst things in the world, just the ones that afflict me.