Wasting my life?
- Thread starter Valhalla
- Start date
I have the exact same issue. I finished Highschool 2 years ago and I'm the same age as you, about to be 20 in a few months.
I've been agoraphobic, not doing crap with my life and broke as a joke. I don't know how to run away from this problem, or to find something enjoyable.
How can I go out and meet people when I have no transportation or money? It's a bunch of cra...
I'm trying not to fret turning 20. I don't enjoy what most people do, I just want somewhere to fit in somewhere and do something.
I know.....
I've been agoraphobic, not doing crap with my life and broke as a joke. I don't know how to run away from this problem, or to find something enjoyable.
How can I go out and meet people when I have no transportation or money? It's a bunch of cra...
I'm trying not to fret turning 20. I don't enjoy what most people do, I just want somewhere to fit in somewhere and do something.
I know.....
chibiXphantom
Well-known member
i know exactly how you feel. i have to force myself not to think back with regrets on all the time i've wasted just sitting here alone doing nothing, not making anything of myself. i think back on the bridges ive burned and opportunities ive missed out on.
im 19 as well and have been thinking "ive wasted my life" since i was 14 or so.
not really sure how to give advice (if you wanted any), but i can relate completely.
my parents have pretty much forced me into every job ive had, and forced me into college. though i was working and going to school, i felt even more lost. i wasnt doing what i wanted to do. i feel like the past few years have been a waste and that i could have done so much better.
but really, we're still young. all i can say is try to make the most of your life while you still got your life ahead of you. live every day to its fullest, as hard as that may be.
im 19 as well and have been thinking "ive wasted my life" since i was 14 or so.
not really sure how to give advice (if you wanted any), but i can relate completely.
my parents have pretty much forced me into every job ive had, and forced me into college. though i was working and going to school, i felt even more lost. i wasnt doing what i wanted to do. i feel like the past few years have been a waste and that i could have done so much better.
but really, we're still young. all i can say is try to make the most of your life while you still got your life ahead of you. live every day to its fullest, as hard as that may be.
Gaucho
Well-known member
hi, when i finished high school i was 18, and i also didn't do a thing for 2 years, i basically spent 2 years doing nothing, maybe working 1 month in 2 years lol. My problem is/was to find something to study i like, because i hated school and nothing interested me. After 2 years i started university, not because i wanted, but because i had to, i have made the wrong decision again(as usual) i have done so much crap in my las 2/3 years(also moneywise) that i feel very uncomfortable about my situation.
I know the feeling. I did the college thing because you're supposed to do the college thing, lasted two years and have spent the last four doing not much of anything. (I'm 23, 24 in July.)
As you described, I don't mind being alone, but it sure was nice when that was more of a conscious choice than just the status quo. I can look back and remember a lot of times that, had I been mindful enough to care at the time, were pretty fantastic opportunities.
There's no single crushing tragic event in my past, or any series of them, just a pattern of apathy and timidity that only really becomes apparent in hindsight. That's a helluva lot better situation some people are in, but it still leaves me feeling a bit powerless sometimes.
I'd say more but you seem to already have the right mindset. Change is rarely as hard as we make it out to be, and you know that possibility is out there.
As you described, I don't mind being alone, but it sure was nice when that was more of a conscious choice than just the status quo. I can look back and remember a lot of times that, had I been mindful enough to care at the time, were pretty fantastic opportunities.
There's no single crushing tragic event in my past, or any series of them, just a pattern of apathy and timidity that only really becomes apparent in hindsight. That's a helluva lot better situation some people are in, but it still leaves me feeling a bit powerless sometimes.
I'd say more but you seem to already have the right mindset. Change is rarely as hard as we make it out to be, and you know that possibility is out there.
Thank you all for responding. I feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone in this situation.
There's so much things controlled by money. Even if everything would be good, and you would be ready to do something the lack of money can stop you, and someone who was lucky to be born rich can go in front of you.
No, no advices, it was the point of this. I'm just glad you wanted to tell about yourself. Yeah, it's hard to live every day to it's full extent. Some sick person would just be glad to breathe air and watch the clouds pass by, but if you're just socially isolated and feel powerless you can only think about the time that doesn't go, but fly away from you.
I'm in that extremley hard choice now to define the coming year or years. I'm scared of doing the wrong thing.
Exactly. I'm in that middle, with a foot in both directions. All wrapped up in a great deal of uncertainty. What did I miss, what was I spared from, what could've been different?
There's so much things controlled by money. Even if everything would be good, and you would be ready to do something the lack of money can stop you, and someone who was lucky to be born rich can go in front of you.
No, no advices, it was the point of this. I'm just glad you wanted to tell about yourself. Yeah, it's hard to live every day to it's full extent. Some sick person would just be glad to breathe air and watch the clouds pass by, but if you're just socially isolated and feel powerless you can only think about the time that doesn't go, but fly away from you.
I'm in that extremley hard choice now to define the coming year or years. I'm scared of doing the wrong thing.
Exactly. I'm in that middle, with a foot in both directions. All wrapped up in a great deal of uncertainty. What did I miss, what was I spared from, what could've been different?
mart22n
Well-known member
I have also spent a lot of time on gaming, being quite isolated, so I know what you're feeling.
My suggestions:
1) Start using your time efficiently - you don't want to waste more seconds from your life, literally!
2) Think - what makes you feel really good deep inside? Is it mingling with friends? Is it playing an instrument? Is it extreme sports? Is it backpacking? Scientific research and academic career? Arts? Anything else?
3) Act - remember that without failure and embarrassment, there is no social success. GET OUT OF YOUR APATHY. Gradually, but steadily.
Good luck!
Lonelykitsune
Well-known member
I can relate to what your going through. I had my graduation last night from secondary school last night and I've my final exams in 2 weeks, then I'm done with school. Watching the school slide show full of pictures from the last 6 years was horrible as I missed out on so much.
I don't konw what I'm going to do without the routine of school. My parents are assuming I'll be going to university but I don't think I could face university life. A job as a factory drone is what I'd want
I did have a good childhood, but it was all family stuff, not anything much with friends. I have aquaintances but I don't see why'd they would bother with me after school is over.
Like you, I get worried about thoughts of my parents dying suddenly and me being totally alone.
I've lost interest in stuff I used to like too, like gaming and have no talent for anything.
Ugh, and these are supposed to be the best years of your life.
I don't konw what I'm going to do without the routine of school. My parents are assuming I'll be going to university but I don't think I could face university life. A job as a factory drone is what I'd want
I did have a good childhood, but it was all family stuff, not anything much with friends. I have aquaintances but I don't see why'd they would bother with me after school is over.
Like you, I get worried about thoughts of my parents dying suddenly and me being totally alone.
I've lost interest in stuff I used to like too, like gaming and have no talent for anything.
Ugh, and these are supposed to be the best years of your life.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I read your post and feel deeply for you. I just am putting that there because honestly I don't know what advice I have to offer other than relating to your situation. mart22n has some good advice. Taking away the things that give you artificial fulfillment (computer, television, even music) will open the wound which will give you enough motivation to find what really fills your heart.
I relate to so many of the things you said and to so many of the things you have been thinking about. And i related to almost all of the comments. That is some consolation in itself.
I have been in an obsessive, morbid, compulsive, nonstop black hole of thinking, all the thoughts surrounding 'time'...just like you said- am I wasting it? Will I look back and feel I spent it well? All thoughts that come from projecting myself into an imaginary future... and it makes it impossible, for me at least, to make decisions, because I'm constantly getting all philosophical about what the consequences will be and what it will feel like a long time from now. So I just end up frozen.
I also relate to what you said about being alone so often and just wishing it was more of a choice. I have the exact same thought constantly. Every Friday night that rolls around, I end up alone. And like you said again, it has waxed and waned over the years, and there have been times that I have enjoyed being alone. i need alone time at least occasionally no matter what. But when it becomes the norm, it becomes unbelievably painful. When it feels like there is no other option; when it is not a choice.
Just know you are not truly alone. I relate to you a lot, and all of the other people who commented do as well. Also, it is clear you are very smart, and that is part of why you are thinking about all of these things, and from so many different angles. Just try not to be so hard on yourself.
I have been in an obsessive, morbid, compulsive, nonstop black hole of thinking, all the thoughts surrounding 'time'...just like you said- am I wasting it? Will I look back and feel I spent it well? All thoughts that come from projecting myself into an imaginary future... and it makes it impossible, for me at least, to make decisions, because I'm constantly getting all philosophical about what the consequences will be and what it will feel like a long time from now. So I just end up frozen.
I also relate to what you said about being alone so often and just wishing it was more of a choice. I have the exact same thought constantly. Every Friday night that rolls around, I end up alone. And like you said again, it has waxed and waned over the years, and there have been times that I have enjoyed being alone. i need alone time at least occasionally no matter what. But when it becomes the norm, it becomes unbelievably painful. When it feels like there is no other option; when it is not a choice.
Just know you are not truly alone. I relate to you a lot, and all of the other people who commented do as well. Also, it is clear you are very smart, and that is part of why you are thinking about all of these things, and from so many different angles. Just try not to be so hard on yourself.
Roman Legion
Well-known member
I'm 22, I can't afford college, got turned down for financial aid even though I am likely the poorest person here. I can't find a job, if could I couldn't do it as my first job in the Army reserve really messed my knees up.. My father told me to stop wasting my life. There isn't much I can do with my anxiety and knee problems. Been thinking more of suicide in the past few weeks as I ultimately know life is only going to get worse with no viable options to go with.. I have a car because I used my military money to get one and I used most of it to get a decent one I could enjoy.. I don't get to enjoy much at all in life, so I got a nice one..
Kat
Well-known member
I don’t know why you don’t qualify for disability severe mental illness alone sometimes qualifies. You should look into this.
Hurt on the Job
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Roman Legion
Well-known member
The Army refused to do a LOD when I was injured, I mean flat out refused to do one.. Only documents I have are from sickcall, the doctor and the hospital/ test results from an xray and MRI on my knees.. LOD is the military's burecratic way of screwing the injured over. I don't think the AFL-CIO can do anything here, let alone on military matters.. They won't fix my knees, pay me for the damage or even discharge me and this happened End of August early September 2011.. Almost 1 freaking year ago and they just keep me coming to drill and expect me to train.. Then get pissy when I refuse.. I have to carry around all my documents at drill to keep those morons at bay!
Kat
Well-known member
Yeah, it sounds like a tough situation if you haven’t already I’d be talking to an attorney.
to the poster of this thread same here age 26 and done nothing with my life was going to write something similar,never was the best at school and only few friends,and at this age im still nowhere in my life,nor do i have any qualifications or friends,and still living at home.And the worst thing is when i start to compare myself to what others have and want to give advice believe me there are more people in difficult situations then yourself and dont be so paranoid because as you said life happens as it is,you wont change anything,and your still young and theres plenty of opportunities,just maybe its not the time yet 
Roman Legion
Well-known member
Kat
Well-known member
They may be able to help you here. Ask A Lawyer - WORLD Law Direct they have a forum and you can receive advice from lawyers for free.
Back to thread you guys are still very young, it can take a few small steps to change your life. It’s not too late to get qualifications some people are very old when they decide to go get a technical degree or any qualification they are wanting.
Valhalla,
I emphatize completely how you feel and the situation you are in. I was in the same rut as you for five years. It took every ounce of energy I had to put strucutre in my life. I worked at one job for a year, following which I worked a variety of jobs over the course of the next year with periods of non working in between. I finally got a job where I worked eight months at followed by my current of which I have been working nine months. In all honesty I hate most of the jobs due to a range of reasons but I keep at it as it at least gives me structure in my life. More importantly if I quit this job for the next job who knows how it will be. I hate my life and every Sunday the dread of a new week and Monday only looking forward to the end of the week. Its horrid. But there really could be worse so I . stick at it.
Not exactly sure what this post is about I guess just to say I completely understand what you are going through ::
I emphatize completely how you feel and the situation you are in. I was in the same rut as you for five years. It took every ounce of energy I had to put strucutre in my life. I worked at one job for a year, following which I worked a variety of jobs over the course of the next year with periods of non working in between. I finally got a job where I worked eight months at followed by my current of which I have been working nine months. In all honesty I hate most of the jobs due to a range of reasons but I keep at it as it at least gives me structure in my life. More importantly if I quit this job for the next job who knows how it will be. I hate my life and every Sunday the dread of a new week and Monday only looking forward to the end of the week. Its horrid. But there really could be worse so I . stick at it.
Not exactly sure what this post is about I guess just to say I completely understand what you are going through :
:
Kat
Well-known member
You will do great Valhalla
It may be hard and sometimes you will make mistakes and feel like giving up but you just have to realize how awesome you are. It doesn’t matter if someone tells it to you or not, the main opinion that matters is yours and the smart ones will catch on.
It may be hard and sometimes you will make mistakes and feel like giving up but you just have to realize how awesome you are. It doesn’t matter if someone tells it to you or not, the main opinion that matters is yours and the smart ones will catch on.