Unavoidable Problem in Life?
- Thread starter Silvox Black
- Start date
Elenwen
1
Well, I assume you know there's nothing we can do to help you? It'd be nice to but all you'll get are other people's answers on how they think you should handle this, try to understand your feelings but ultimately this issue is always laid at your feet. You'll have great advice but at the end of the day you'll still be worrying about it. I'd suggest you talk to someone, professionally. Even if it's a counselor.
Also, in addition to the following below..when you asked a lady if she felt she missed out on being in a better relationship or if she felt it could get better in any way. Loving someone who loves you doesn't get any better because it's a spectacular feeling. There's no missing out because everything you need is in that one person. It's rare but it happens.
Sadly, there will always be self doubt, especially for us but there are ways of overcoming it for the most part. I have someone but I feel as if they're above me in some way, that my issues make me out to be this neurotic mess to them. But I love this person, he loves me in spite of it and never for a moment do I doubt that I don't deserve him. Because I have SA, depression, it's a struggle but I will not be the person to lower my standards. I might feel worthless at times but the best thing about having someone who you've placed your ultimate feelings in no matter the...social level you have them on..they will make you feel as if you deserve everything good in the world, despite. If you "settled" for someone that means your heart isn't in it and you're not going to get the fulfillment that you would. It's very hard to see how we'll ever not always feel as if things in this world are above our reach or we're undeserving in some way but if anything, we're more. Of course I could talk until I'm blue in the face :
: Only you have the power to change the way you feel. Everyone is strong enough but most don't have the will power to keep the idea that change for the best is the best solution. Falling back into old habits and ways of thinking is easy but if you truly want to be happy, you'll find what it takes to do it.
Last edited:
206Raider
Well-known member
I don't think you have to lower your standards or anything by anymeans, does having SA make things 100x worse, yes. But that doesn't mean I'm hopeless or anyt of you are, I think a lot of us are actually more gifted but I believe there is somebody out there for everyone. So what if you hoaven't met this person yet, but as long as you open yourself up you will find somebody. Opening up is the hard part for someone with SA. I don't think anyone has to lower their standards though unless your searching for a supermodel only or something. Don't only be attracted to looks, I know that is hard but some of the girls I really liked in the past I thought they looked "good" but not like a model or something and then I found there personality made me like them even mroe til I thought they were the most beautful girl in the school.
Nobody has to lower his standards, unless they are unrealistically high. However, the higher your expectations - while still humanly possible - the more people you have to meet to find those you want. And SA, or just unprovidential life situations, can be an obstacle in this regard, as it makes meeting lots of new people quite hard.
I think sometimes we do, and other people who don't have these issues. But it doesn't mean we should.