Ugly and Toxic Person

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#1
I have been often told that I am a very ugly and very toxic person to be around. I have no clue why other than I have had severe mental health issues for some time, and being so depressed has made me very moody towards others. Nobody understands that part of my mental health problems things might come across as being toxic, but its not my choice.

Because of this, I have isolated myself from people, due to the fact that I am not an attractive person to be around. In the recent months its becoming more apparent that I can't deal with people anymore. As much as i would love the company, or even a relationship, having to deal with people other than making transactions at a store is much as i can stand others, and even then it takes all my energy to keep it altogether.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
#2
It's been my experience that anyone who says those things to you is either trying to hurt you, push your buttons or push you away.

Who said this to you and in what context?
 

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#3
So called friends of mine, women, etc.. In context, well, just that when i am in a depressive mood. I know i'm not, but everything i seem to touch i ruin too, so that doesn't help.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
#4
No one who cares about you would ever call you ugly. It's been my experience anyways, since that is an insult.

As far as being "toxic" goes, that is something that you might be labeled as after you had been in a relationship with someone as friends or intimately with and they thought you have issues with being destructive or negative. No one likes to be around negative or destructive people. Would you say you might be having problems with being that way? Sometimes when we are hurting and don't know how to fix things we act out and people don't understand that behavior is just us being in psychological pain. When I am depressed I turn my anger inwards which is toxic but to myself. I also feel that everything I touch I ruin when I am in this depressed and toxic state of mind.
 

lily

Well-known member
#5
As long as you're open that you've often been told that you're a very toxic person that's good as then if other people find you that way they're not going to be hurt and you can still get help by counseling or cbt how to get better. good luck lifesnotfair, i don't know what they mean by toxic as I've spoken to you before and have not found you to be 'toxic' so far.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
#7
I dont know you so I cant really say one way or another, but I know how mental health issues can make people act in a way that others perceive as being toxic. The only way to really deal with that is to try and be aware of how your behaviors manifest and to just do your best to manage it. But also explaining to people who you are close to or want to be close to about your mental health issues and how it can impact your behaviors and that its not something you're able to control but you're working on it and you'd appreciate some help with that by having them explain what the issues are (maybe at a later point and not in the immediate situation if its easier).

But like MollyBeGood was saying, people who care about you wouldnt go calling you very ugly. So maybe its them that are the toxic ones if thats how they're speaking to you
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#9
Whoever said that lacks the tact to say things properly. My only advice would be for you to not hang out with that person, and work on being more at peace with yourself and your circumstances, and keep working on the person you want to be.
 

grapevine

Well-known member
#10
Yeah, what you say to yourself and what you choose to believe from others becomes your world.
Judge those people, not yourself. Generally they said those things because of their own circumstances, hurt, not getting thier needs met - what ever it was - probably had entirely nothing to do with you. But when you believe things like that, your mind, your life starts to make it come true.
Its like with me, I start to believe im fat and then I end up there.
Forgive those people for being so small minded and not actually even noticing who you are for they had thier own blindness of hurt and anger of thier own agendas instead.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
#12
Yeah, what you say to yourself and what you choose to believe from others becomes your world.
Judge those people, not yourself. Generally they said those things because of their own circumstances, hurt, not getting thier needs met - what ever it was - probably had entirely nothing to do with you. But when you believe things like that, your mind, your life starts to make it come true.
Its like with me, I start to believe im fat and then I end up there.
Forgive those people for being so small minded and not actually even noticing who you are for they had thier own blindness of hurt and anger of thier own agendas instead.
Absolutely our thoughts do form our world. I really have discovered this the older I get. So much of my negative stuff is just that- MINE. Most people unless they say it to your face are not even thinking those things, it's our twisted thought patterns.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#14
The paradox is to be better around people, you need to spend time around them. Withdrawal leads to losing social skills. There are many toxic people, the trick is not letting them get under your skin as much.
 

Ransfordrowe

Well-known member
#15
Hi.Some people are more understanding than others about emotional anxiety problems.I know it can be tough to control our feelings when very anxious.But it's not really fair to expect people to put up with someone being reguraly rude to them.Everyone is entitled to be treated with consideration.My anxiety means I'm tough to be around at times.But I take responsibility for my actions and don't write it off as being the fault of my anxiety.I can influence my own behaviour and recognize when I'm not being fair on another person.Then I can try to rein in my feelings and even apologize if necessary. I would not like some one to be rude to me so it's fair enough if someone else does not like it or want to be around someone like that.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
#16
I feel you. I think people think I'm stuck-up, even though I feel incredibly inferior most of the time. No one really knows what's going on underneath. They just take it at face value. Therefore, I am toxic and ugly to them.
 
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