Trying to decode date with a Love-Shy guy.

[CherryPepper]

I had a crush on him before realizing that he is love shy. From friends, I found out he has very little experience with women, is a virgin (he's over 35), and a coworker that dated him said she had to make all the moves.

I flirted the best I could with him but we don't cross paths often (he's a distant coworker). After talking to my coworker, I finally realized that I had to be the one to ask him out. He was sort of wishywashy but we made a plan. When I realized that the original plan wouldn't work because of my work schedule, I let him know and he suggested an early dinner after work last week.

We talked a lot and laughed a lot and there weren't really any awkward silences. At the end he thanked me a couple times (I paid since I asked him out, he left tip) and he said he'd bring pictures of a project I asked to see.

Later that night he texted me saying thank you and sorry if he talked too much. I texted back that he didn't, that I liked hearing about his interests. I texted him a couple days later about something I found in my car and he had a cute/funny response. Then he texted me the next day saying Happy Easter. But he hasn't come to see me or contacted me since.

Most people say to let it go, the ball is in his court. But does that also apply to a love shy guy?

 

[Remus]

Give him time, he may warm up eventually as he gets more used to you. Oh, you will need to take the initiative with the dates I should think.

 

[Nanita]

I would let it go, or let him take the next step, if more steps are to be taken...

 

[Scrobes]

I had a crush on him before realizing that he is love shy. From friends, I found out he has very little experience with women, is a virgin (he's over 35), and a coworker that dated him said she had to make all the moves.

I flirted the best I could with him but we don't cross paths often (he's a distant coworker). After talking to my coworker, I finally realized that I had to be the one to ask him out. He was sort of wishywashy but we made a plan. When I realized that the original plan wouldn't work because of my work schedule, I let him know and he suggested an early dinner after work last week.

We talked a lot and laughed a lot and there weren't really any awkward silences. At the end he thanked me a couple times (I paid since I asked him out, he left tip) and he said he'd bring pictures of a project I asked to see.

Later that night he texted me saying thank you and sorry if he talked too much. I texted back that he didn't, that I liked hearing about his interests. I texted him a couple days later about something I found in my car and he had a cute/funny response. Then he texted me the next day saying Happy Easter. But he hasn't come to see me or contacted me since.

Most people say to let it go, the ball is in his court. But does that also apply to a love shy guy?

Going out on a limb a bit here, but he may not realise he's supposed to do something. Yes I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but there are guys who are *that* clueless (I'm probably one of them). Please don't judge us for that however. We just simply don't realise. He may just need more of a chance. He *could* also realise that you like him a bit, but is in denial. Denial because if he's gone that long without ever having a girl genuinely be affectionate with him and care about him (lack of validation, lack of acceptance), you start to become 'programmed' that no one likes you (edit: or will *ever* like you). Does this make sense? Perhaps he thought it was more of just a friendly thing; the eating out, though sure it *was* that, but obviously with an interest in him from yourself. Easier to believe that it was a "work" dinner or something than the alternative. A loveshy guy will almost want or hope to believe you're not interested in him (and this can be on top of the fact that he realises he likes you too). It sounds totally bizarre and reverse logic, but it's because we're a) in disbelief that a girl likes us, and b) the idea of a girl liking us has potential to just send us fleeing (clam up, close up, unresponsive).

Trying to keep this brief and concise. Your friend that said she had to make all the moves, this is typically what you are going to find too. However! And I admit I could be wrong here. I'd like to believe that as time went by, he would start making his own moves, start showing initiative. It's almost like you're attaching jump leads to a car, to get it running. Though, somehow it will eventually start running itself. Does this make sense? The unknown element is how long it will take before there is some.. 'autonomy' for want of a better word - and I think this will definitely range from one loveshy guy to another (depending on lots of elements, including things like exposure to female friends, females in general, etc, and other things like experience). It might take one guy ages, it might take another no time at all. We are very unused to being assertive (due to feeling shame at expressions of affection towards females).

Another possibility is that he is frightened, BUT, dealing with you in a disconnected manner, i.e. by email, txt, phone is 'easier' because you're not face to face. (Frightened maybe isn't the right word, but I can speak from experience - a loveshy guy will physically tremble (maybe even to point of shaking) in an intimate, tender setting with a girl - and yes even if he likes her) It's really great that he's being courteous with you, and it looks like he is comfortable doing that via txt. How was the date? Was he nervous, agitated, anxious? You said you laughed a lot and he talked a lot. It's really hard to form a picture just from this, but it almost.. and I emphasise almost, sounds like he may not necessarily be loveshy. Just very inexperienced or unassertive (which yes cross over into loveshyness). If he was nervous at the start, he might have relaxed by halfway and been fairly comfortable towards the end. You could look for his hands/fingers trembling.

Hopefully at least some of that helped. If you like him a lot, all I will say is try to be patient with him and give him time if you can. Of course, how much time you're prepared to give is up to you, and unfortunately you cannot know that either. Then there's also the question of whether he is actually interested or not. I realise this doesn't make it easy for you, but that's for you to draw the line of how much worth it is to wait and see, or to let go and move on. For example, maybe he can reciprocate to some degree and he's receptive, but initiating is really really tough for him. (at least at the start, as I mentioned)

(just fyi, I'm 35 and a virgin too. The last time I kissed a girl was when I was 13 :\ Regrettably, so many years of no companionship can take their toll. If you're able to understand this, you're doing both yourself, and him a small favor. And he will probably be incredibly grateful. If you think he's worth it, give him the chance, it might turn out really good )

 

[Section_31]

I was about to say, being inexperienced, he might honestly not realize he needs to do somthing.

Have you thought about sending an inviting open ended text?. Just somthing like "i miss you" or somthin like that?. That might let him know the door is open and you want him to come to you.

Be patient with him. He sounds like a good guy who just needs to learn as he goes. I used to have this problem, on occasion i still do!.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I can help you CherryPepper! I use to be that guy, well kind of! I met my first girlfriend at the office and I too was a virgin-in my twenties! We went on a date, it was really romantic, we had an amazing time. Before that, I had never been on a date before. Well, that night, she became my girlfriend. The problem was, I told her that I wanted to get to know here more before having sex and that we should wait a while.

The truth was that I was terrified of humiliating myself. I NEVER had sex before. What if I didn't know what I was doing???I thought at my age, I should know all the moves and she wouldn't understand. I made her wait (and myself due to fear) two weeks before we had sex. I also lied to her and said that I was experienced. That's how embarrassed I was about being a virgin.

I can only imagine what is going on in his head. He's a virgin and over 35. That has to be causing him a lot of mental turmoil. To make matters worse, you two work together!! I'm sure that reality is not lost on him either.

Do you really like this guy? If so, go for hit. At this point in his life he may even suffer from AvPD. Ask him out again! You can initiate sex in a non-intimidating way. Make him think like he's the aggressor. Maybe let a boob pop out and act shy and embarrassed....I don't know how you girls do it but you know .......LOL

You might have to go out with him a few more time (or several) before he feels confident enough to have sex. I'm sure he's dying to have sex with you! The work situation makes things a little more risky for someone as inexperienced as he is.

Good Luck!

 

[mismeek]

I can help you CherryPepper! I use to be that guy, well kind of! I met my first girlfriend at the office and I too was a virgin-in my twenties! We went on a date, it was really romantic, we had an amazing time. Before that, I had never been on a date before. Well, that night, she became my girlfriend. The problem was, I told her that I wanted to get to know here more before having sex and that we should wait a while.

The truth was that I was terrified of humiliating myself. I NEVER had sex before. What if I didn't know what I was doing???I thought at my age, I should know all the moves and she wouldn't understand. I made her wait (and myself due to fear) two weeks before we had sex. I also lied to her and said that I was experienced. That's how embarrassed I was about being a virgin.

I can only imagine what is going on in his head. He's a virgin and over 35. That has to be causing him a lot of mental turmoil. To make matters worse, you two work together!! I'm sure that reality is not lost on him either.

Do you really like this guy? If so, go for hit. At this point in his life he may even suffer from AvPD. Ask him out again! You can initiate sex in a non-intimidating way. Make him think like he's the aggressor. Maybe let a boob pop out and act shy and embarrassed....I don't know how you girls do it but you know .......LOL

You might have to go out with him a few more time (or several) before he feels confident enough to have sex. I'm sure he's dying to have sex with you! The work situation makes things a little more risky for someone as inexperienced as he is.

Good Luck!

I dont think shes really needing advice on sex....:shyness:

But i also think you should keep at it also, and make him VERY aware that you want to date him. Maybe just say it outright and ask him if this is something he wants to do ( maybe thru text so he doesnt get nervous) then you'll know for sure this is what you both want.

 

[A86]

Going out on a limb a bit here, but he may not realise he's supposed to do something. Yes I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but there are guys who are *that* clueless (I'm probably one of them). Please don't judge us for that however. We just simply don't realise. He may just need more of a chance. He *could* also realise that you like him a bit, but is in denial. Denial because if he's gone that long without ever having a girl genuinely be affectionate with him and care about him (lack of validation, lack of acceptance), you start to become 'programmed' that no one likes you (edit: or will *ever* like you). Does this make sense? Perhaps he thought it was more of just a friendly thing; the eating out, though sure it *was* that, but obviously with an interest in him from yourself. Easier to believe that it was a "work" dinner or something than the alternative. A loveshy guy will almost want or hope to believe you're not interested in him (and this can be on top of the fact that he realises he likes you too). It sounds totally bizarre and reverse logic, but it's because we're a) in disbelief that a girl likes us, and b) the idea of a girl liking us has potential to just send us fleeing (clam up, close up, unresponsive).

Trying to keep this brief and concise. Your friend that said she had to make all the moves, this is typically what you are going to find too. However! And I admit I could be wrong here. I'd like to believe that as time went by, he would start making his own moves, start showing initiative. It's almost like you're attaching jump leads to a car, to get it running. Though, somehow it will eventually start running itself. Does this make sense? The unknown element is how long it will take before there is some.. 'autonomy' for want of a better word - and I think this will definitely range from one loveshy guy to another (depending on lots of elements, including things like exposure to female friends, females in general, etc, and other things like experience). It might take one guy ages, it might take another no time at all. We are very unused to being assertive (due to feeling shame at expressions of affection towards females).

Another possibility is that he is frightened, BUT, dealing with you in a disconnected manner, i.e. by email, txt, phone is 'easier' because you're not face to face. (Frightened maybe isn't the right word, but I can speak from experience - a loveshy guy will physically tremble (maybe even to point of shaking) in an intimate, tender setting with a girl - and yes even if he likes her) It's really great that he's being courteous with you, and it looks like he is comfortable doing that via txt. How was the date? Was he nervous, agitated, anxious? You said you laughed a lot and he talked a lot. It's really hard to form a picture just from this, but it almost.. and I emphasise almost, sounds like he may not necessarily be loveshy. Just very inexperienced or unassertive (which yes cross over into loveshyness). If he was nervous at the start, he might have relaxed by halfway and been fairly comfortable towards the end. You could look for his hands/fingers trembling.

Hopefully at least some of that helped. If you like him a lot, all I will say is try to be patient with him and give him time if you can. Of course, how much time you're prepared to give is up to you, and unfortunately you cannot know that either. Then there's also the question of whether he is actually interested or not. I realise this doesn't make it easy for you, but that's for you to draw the line of how much worth it is to wait and see, or to let go and move on. For example, maybe he can reciprocate to some degree and he's receptive, but initiating is really really tough for him. (at least at the start, as I mentioned)

(just fyi, I'm 35 and a virgin too. The last time I kissed a girl was when I was 13 :\ Regrettably, so many years of no companionship can take their toll. If you're able to understand this, you're doing both yourself, and him a small favor. And he will probably be incredibly grateful. If you think he's worth it, give him the chance, it might turn out really good )

my personal opinion is this is most likely the case. well articulated.

But i also think you should keep at it also, and make him VERY aware that you want to date him. Maybe just say it outright and ask him if this is something he wants to do ( maybe thru text so he doesnt get nervous) then you'll know for sure this is what you both want.

i also agree being blunt may be the most effective move forward.
as Scrobes mentioned, any ambiguity (even subtle) is left to self doubt.

 

[CherryPepper]

Wow. Thank you all so much for the replies. They are very helpful.

...he may not realise he's supposed to do something. Yes I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but there are guys who are *that* clueless (I'm probably one of them).

I wish I could distinguish between him being clueless and uninterested. :sad:

Perhaps he thought it was more of just a friendly thing; the eating out, though sure it *was* that, but obviously with an interest in him from yourself. Easier to believe that it was a "work" dinner or something than the alternative.

He did keep his work badge on during dinner and he also thanked me for the "outing". I took that as him wanting to keep it as a "work thing", rather than assuming he thought it was just a work thing.

I'd like to believe that as time went by, he would start making his own moves, start showing initiative. It's almost like you're attaching jump leads to a car, to get it running. Though, somehow it will eventually start running itself. Does this make sense?

It does make sense, and I think you are right because my coworker did say that he did eventually take some initiative but that she did have to make most of the moves.

How was the date? Was he nervous, agitated, anxious? You said you laughed a lot and he talked a lot. It's really hard to form a picture just from this, but it almost.. and I emphasise almost, sounds like he may not necessarily be loveshy. Just very inexperienced or unassertive (which yes cross over into loveshyness). If he was nervous at the start, he might have relaxed by halfway and been fairly comfortable towards the end. You could look for his hands/fingers trembling.

He was actually more comfortable than I was, I think. He is super into his hobbies and had plenty to say about them. Whenever there started to be a silence he picked right up. He was very talkative and didn't seem to be nervous at all. I mean, not tongue rattling talkative, he's very intelligent, almost to the point where I was afraid I sounded dumb to him. At the end of the "date" he was not afraid to walk back into the building with me (I forgot my phone) and we had to take the long way since the building was closed. When we said goodbye he thanked me a couple times and was very friendly and smiling and stopped. It wasn't like he was trying to run from me. If anything he probably thought I was trying to run from him because I was so nervous at how to end things.

(just fyi, I'm 35 and a virgin too. The last time I kissed a girl was when I was 13 :\ Regrettably, so many years of no companionship can take their toll. If you're able to understand this, you're doing both yourself, and him a small favor. And he will probably be incredibly grateful. If you think he's worth it, give him the chance, it might turn out really good )

Thank you for your insight, it has been very helpful. I am prepared to be patient for him. I just wish I knew if he was even interested so I knew if I'm being patient for a reason. lol. Thanks again.

But i also think you should keep at it also, and make him VERY aware that you want to date him. Maybe just say it outright and ask him if this is something he wants to do ( maybe thru text so he doesnt get nervous) then you'll know for sure this is what you both want

This is really what I would like to do, just so that we both KNOW and we're both on the same page. Even if he tells me he doesn't like me as more than friends, at least I would know. The problem is there are all these dating "rules" out there that says that he should be the one to make the next move if he is interested...but I feel like this isn't a "normal" scenario. But even the "rules" say women will make excuses as to why a man is not making a move.

You might have to go out with him a few more time (or several) before he feels confident enough to have sex. I'm sure he's dying to have sex with you! The work situation makes things a little more risky for someone as inexperienced as he is.

At this point in the game I'm not too worried about the sex part. I am more than happy to go very slow with him and slowly show the ropes...or ravish him if that's what he prefers :inlove:but first I need to know if he's interested. lol

Have you thought about sending an inviting open ended text?. Just somthing like "i miss you" or somthin like that?. That might let him know the door is open and you want him to come to you.

I have thought about sending a text just being direct...I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no. LOL. Not exactly, but pretty much! Just in an adult way. I just don't want to scare him or make things awkward.

 

[Scrobes]

Thank you for your insight, it has been very helpful. I am prepared to be patient for him. I just wish I knew if he was even interested so I knew if I'm being patient for a reason. lol. Thanks again.

Trust me, I know, I really know. I totally understand. The ambiguity of these situations is mindshatteringly frustrating. Also, it's great to hear you're prepared to be patient for him. Now I'm envious hehe. The only time a girl has *ever* said she'd like to ravish me, was at University when a girl said she wanted to cover me in marmite and lick it off. I kid you not. Yes it was weird. ;x I just didn't know what to say to it - I couldn't even tell if she was taking the piss or being serious. I think she was serious, which is scarier.

Anyway, trying to think of a way you could find out between obliviousness and disinterest. The person that suggested a bit more of a direct txt has a good point. Um.. if you're able to, you could maybe try to arrange a few more friendly "outings" with him. A couple more? Get him comfortable with you. *Then* do the txt. And one or two more will let you gather more information about him while you enjoy his company. Doesn't hurt.

The more you tell me about it, the more it begins to make sense. It's intriguing to me that you felt more nervous than he seemingly appeared to. He talked confidently about his interests? Hmm, interesting. I am even more sure now, he doesn't realise you like him. And trust me... when he eventually clicks that you like him, he will be the nervous one. I mean, I could be wrong. You mentioned he dated another girl. ;o Actually it's beginning to sound less like loveshyness and more like Asperger's. ;o I'm just speculating, I might be way off. You may need to be more direct than you're used to.

It's funny hearing you talk about expected practices of guys doing the legwork. IMO, all that matters is what you think, and what he thinks. Anyone else can just shove it. If it means you have to get the ball rolling, who cares! I thought this was the age of gender equality now. ;p

I really hope it works out though. Successful stories help increment my own crushed hope back up slightly.

 

[CherryPepper]

The ambiguity of these situations is mindshatteringly frustrating.

It is...almost to the point of heart palpatations. :kickingmyself:

The only time a girl has *ever* said she'd like to ravish me, was at University when a girl said she wanted to cover me in marmite and lick it off. I kid you not. Yes it was weird. ;x I just didn't know what to say to it - I couldn't even tell if she was taking the piss or being serious. I think she was serious, which is scarier.

Wow, that is quite the offer!:thumbup:

Anyway, trying to think of a way you could find out between obliviousness and disinterest. The person that suggested a bit more of a direct txt has a good point. Um.. if you're able to, you could maybe try to arrange a few more friendly "outings" with him. A couple more? Get him comfortable with you. *Then* do the txt. And one or two more will let you gather more information about him while you enjoy his company. Doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt, but unfortunately I just don't have the self-confidence it takes to ask him out again not knowing if he is interested, and he could very well just be going along with me to be nice, and that is even more disheartening to me than if he were just to tell me he is not interested. I did have a quick back-and-forth with him today via text, but nothing significant. He doesn't keep the texts going really...

He talked confidently about his interests? Hmm, interesting.

Yes, he is SUPER into his hobbies, especially one. It was kind of interesting to me when I asked him what he does when he puts all this time and money into a project and it fails...legit question out of curiousity. His response was that he doesn't fail, and pretty much never has. He started telling me how conservative and precision oriented he is and I just crossed that over to relationships and figure that he won't start something that he knows there is a chance of failing. :question:

If it means you have to get the ball rolling, who cares! I thought this was the age of gender equality now. ;p

Very true, but at the same time, there is the need inside of me that needs to feel wanted and pursued.

I really hope it works out though. Successful stories help increment my own crushed hope back up slightly.

Well, it sounds like you are self-aware so I think you have a very good shot! Be yourself and don't be afraid to take a bold step every now and then.

Sometimes things can be difficult to say. I 'dated' my last girlfriend for several months before I finally asked her to be with me. Being so smitten and overtaken by her beauty, I sounded a bit like a teenager confessing to my crush in the schoolyard. It made me feel very vulnerable, despite how much we cared about one another already.

That is super sweet.

 

[CherryPepper]

I crossed paths with him this morning and he didn't run away. He offered me a snack. lol. Then later he had a friendly reply to a mass e-mail I sent.

Sooo, at least I haven't scared him away yet. That could either be good or bad. If it means he's just getting more comortbable with me - Good. If it means that he only sees me as a friend - Bad.

:question:

 

[Scrobes]

Are you able to see what he's like with other girls?

I can understand how it's confusing and I sympathise. More than you can possibly imagine. I've spent a year doing what you're doing with a girl online. A year. Never really knowing one way or the other how she felt. She wasn't loveshy per se, but she had her own anxieties and things. It's draining and deflating (it didn't work out). I thought she needed time to develop trust and comfort with me, but I may have misinterpreted things, so some of it is my fault.

Um.. anyway. I think he may be warming up to you, but at the same time, they could be simple, unassuming acts of kindness. I keep to myself though. I know he and I are probably nothing alike, but if I do a little something for someone in my office, it's because I like her a tiny bit (it's like a shy show of appreciation/admiration - but probably just seen as creepy). ;x

You could maybe try to encourage him to email you a bit? A bit of a back and forth that way? I feel more comfortable in the written medium, there's less pressure and so on. But this would also set you up to one day send an email maybe explaining that you like him and how does he feel about that. I suppose you could do this via txt too.

Yes, I am similar. I don't want to waste a girl's time. So I am not going commit to even starting if I think we're not compatible and so on. Guys like me are extremely slow at building momentum, but once we get going, we're sticking around. It could be like that.

Been meaning to ask for days, but could you explain what you mean by self-aware please? I've heard this term before from guys talking about certain girls. I kind of know what it means a bit.

 

[CherryPepper]

Been meaning to ask for days, but could you explain what you mean by self-aware please? I've heard this term before from guys talking about certain girls. I kind of know what it means a bit.

You seem to know what relationship "issues" you have/might have and can use that knowledge to start/move forward with relationships. I am just assuming that from your replies.

Um.. anyway. I think he may be warming up to you, but at the same time, they could be simple, unassuming acts of kindness. I keep to myself though. I know he and I are probably nothing alike, but if I do a little something for someone in my office, it's because I like her a tiny bit (it's like a shy show of appreciation/admiration - but probably just seen as creepy). ;x

I highly doubt your acts of kindness are seen as creepy! Give yourself some credit! In the past before I was interested, my crush gave me a couple gifts of work appreciativeness and I thought it was super thoughtful. Of course when he gave me a gift recently I tried to snowball it from thoughtful to interested. lol.

You could maybe try to encourage him to email you a bit? A bit of a back and forth that way? I feel more comfortable in the written medium, there's less pressure and so on. But this would also set you up to one day send an email maybe explaining that you like him and how does he feel about that. I suppose you could do this via txt too.

We have texted and e-mailed a tiny bit, but it's never anything significant or lengthy, just friendly and short. Which leads me to believe he's not interested.

Today I found out my co-worker friend asked his friend (yes...jr. high school much?) if he had mentioned that anyone is interested in him and she said he hasn't mentioned anything. So my co-worker told the friend that someone is interested in him. :sad: I'm so afraid it will get awkward now. Ugh. But at the same time, this might be a good opportunity to speak up and be direct. :question:

 

[Scrobes]

You seem to know what relationship "issues" you have/might have and can use that knowledge to start/move forward with relationships. I am just assuming that from your replies.

I highly doubt your acts of kindness are seen as creepy! Give yourself some credit! In the past before I was interested, my crush gave me a couple gifts of work appreciativeness and I thought it was super thoughtful. Of course when he gave me a gift recently I tried to snowball it from thoughtful to interested. lol.

We have texted and e-mailed a tiny bit, but it's never anything significant or lengthy, just friendly and short. Which leads me to believe he's not interested.

Today I found out my co-worker friend asked his friend (yes...jr. high school much?) if he had mentioned that anyone is interested in him and she said he hasn't mentioned anything. So my co-worker told the friend that someone is interested in him. :sad: I'm so afraid it will get awkward now. Ugh. But at the same time, this might be a good opportunity to speak up and be direct. :question:

Thx for answering me about the self-aware thing. I do have some idea about some things, but also a real lack of ideas about other things, hehe. I have huge trepidation about a lot of relationship-habits/expectations. I feel very green, and would worry a lot about doing something wrong. Silly, but it's true.

Ah okay.. well I sometimes rolled my eyes at myself after doing the kind gesture. Like one time a girl from work had written on her facebook that she wished she had some bonjela (it's like a teething gel thing), presumably because she might have had an ulcer. It was a jokey type of post, you know how ppl do. I saw this, but didn't reply. But the next day on the way to work I bought some for her and gave it to her in the office. I think she was quite touched, and pretty grateful. If you're now thinking, "Well what happened next!?" Nothing. I went back into hiding. I'm not her type I think, nor is she really mine, and there's a social/age gap too (she has over 1000 friends on fb :O I have like 75). She's far too trendy for me. ;x

I can see how his brief replies would maybe suggest he's not interested. :\ I'm not sure. I just don't know enough about him to really say.

Hehe, school playground he-said/she-said. Fun times. Not. ;p But wait.. he said that no one was interested in him? Is it possible that he's a bit oblivious? :O Yeah, it might get awkward. The problem is, the control of information should be coming from you, and you alone. When stuff like this happens, you lose the steering wheel. Yes it might be nice if he hears in a roundabout way that someone has interest in him, and maybe even he might suddenly click that it's you. But typically, and this is just my opinion, I think if he learns of anything, it should maybe come from you. Knowing that someone is interested in him, but not who, might make him close up a bit (or it might not). Just speculating. It's unfortunate, but it might be that you may need to say something sooner rather than later now, if you are able to. I know it will be hard. :\

 

[CherryPepper]

Well, I can guarantee I just screwed everything up. Totally laid everything out on the line via text message. Totally kicking myself now. But the thought of him hearing it from anyone else but me was making me so worried it would scare him away. So better to be scared away by me?

 

[Scrobes]

Well, I can guarantee I just screwed everything up. Totally laid everything out on the line via text message. Totally kicking myself now. But the thought of him hearing it from anyone else but me was making me so worried it would scare him away. So better to be scared away by me?

I think you did the right thing. I do believe it is better he hear it from you. I hope he responds and I hope it's what you want to hear.

 

[CherryPepper]

He responded! He made light of it... Joked that his mustache got me. He said that he once dated a coworker (my friend lol) and it ended badly but that she is a jerk (she's very ummm outspoken). He said he's not sure how he feels about a relationship at this point in his life but that maybe we could go out again to discuss it.

Works for me !!!! I told him to let me know when/if he'd like to go out again.

 

[JuiceB]

He responded! He made light of it... Joked that his mustache got me. He said that he once dated a coworker (my friend lol) and it ended badly but that she is a jerk (she's very ummm outspoken). He said he's not sure how he feels about a relationship at this point in his life but that maybe we could go out again to discuss it.

Works for me !!!! I told him to let me know when/if he'd like to go out again.

:thumbup:

:applause:

 

[Scrobes]

He responded! He made light of it... Joked that his mustache got me. He said that he once dated a coworker (my friend lol) and it ended badly but that she is a jerk (she's very ummm outspoken). He said he's not sure how he feels about a relationship at this point in his life but that maybe we could go out again to discuss it.

Works for me !!!! I told him to let me know when/if he'd like to go out again.

This is cool. I'm very happy for you. You must be pretty thrilled. Now I can sleep soundly. :>