They do stare.

[nicknamehere]

So they say to prove no one really takes notice of you when you're in public... wrong. I contantly get stared at when I work on exposing myself in public to really get a clear picture that noone is looking at me. Well they do.
I can feel someone is looking at me, so I look and there they are, staring. So they quickly turn away like nothing happened.
This has happened many times and it just shows my thoughts are really true, and I'm not being paranoid.

I try to ignore and tell myself, who cares. But it still plays on my mind everyday.
I don't know what to think anymore *sighs*

 

[Zaona]

...........

 

[Anomaly]

I myself can stare all I want. Doesn't mean I give a s*** or remember it 30 minutes later. Unless something utterly outrageous happens like a guy wearing a jumpsuit rides a unicycle, juggles swords, and balances a cake on his head, I'm not going to remember it. Or care, for that matter.

 

[dottie]

anomaly, that doesn't make it any less rude.

 

[Anomaly]

anomaly, that doesn't make it any less rude.

To which sense of the word do you allude to?

Quick internet reference:

1. discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way: a rude reply.

Emphasis mine.

 

[dottie]

so because it is not especially deliberate you think it is less rude? is that what you are implying? whatevs.

 

[Anomaly]

so because it is not especially deliberate you think it is less rude? is that what you are implying? whatevs.

We're dealing with a subjective matter here. I can consider someone breathing within 15 meters of me to be highly rude, but others would laugh at the idea. You see?

so because it is not especially deliberate

I hold that it isn't deliberate at all (my example). Noticing unusual things is a sensory adaptation. When I walk, I don't need to be reminded that there is concrete under my feet every step I take. When I sit in class, I don't need to be reminded by my senses, "I am wearing shoes, I am wearing shoes, I am wearing shoes," I notice that when I take them off or direct my attention there. When I see someone with purple dyed hair, my eyes dart to them more often than mine dart to all of the blonde or brown haired people I see on a daily basis.

 

[Fear of people]

So they say to prove no one really takes notice of you when you're in public... wrong. I contantly get stared at when I work on exposing myself in public to really get a clear picture that noone is looking at me. Well they do.
I can feel someone is looking at me, so I look and there they are, staring. So they quickly turn away like nothing happened.
This has happened many times and it just shows my thoughts are really true, and I'm not being paranoid.

I try to ignore and tell myself, who cares. But it still plays on my mind everyday.
I don't know what to think anymore *sighs*

huge shopping malls...I find are the worse for people staring at you and all I want to do is get the F**K out of there when this happens. Basically...when I notice some body staring at me...OMG...what the F**K is he or she staring at me for...am I weird or ugly looking, I think to myself.

 

[Anomaly]

quit being such a smart ass dude! people don't like smart asses. This was somebody elses thread post who wanted answers to their question.

While your second claim can be challenged, I'll leave this thread to emotional outbursts.

This was somebody elses thread post who wanted answers to their question

Protip: thread consists of responses on similar topic, not solely to original poster.

 

[fitftw]

the staring got to me so much that I can only wear white t-shirts and black pants nowadays, otherwise I get extremely paranoid.

 

[DungeonMaster]

Yes, they are all looking at you.

 

[fitftw]

 

[nicknamehere]

Maybe they think your attractive. I get stared at all the time. I used to take it personal but when it came down to them hitting on me, I knew why.

Although I understand the side to that, that's not the case. I often find mature adults giving me this blank stance. Eh, I just find it rude.

 

[theslowesthand]

This is one of those things that i've been trying to figure out for YEARS, no DECADES. I would have written down quite a fair bit about over the years, but to no avail, it has evaded all my attempts at "resolving" using logic (i tend to "analyse the sh¿t" out of most things). Maybe its because it affects us at a deep level, that it needs sth equally deep to resolve it?

But whatever, here is some guff about it off the top-of-my-head. Who knows, it may even help someone.

Listed in no particular order, some random points about staring...

• In most societies staring is considered "rude" (but not all; think about that!)
• People stare for various reasons
  - novelty
  - trying to "work you out"
  - attraction (sexual, admiration, ..)
  - just to be rude
  - fight/flight response (they feel "threatened" by you in some way)
  - they react to your "fear" of them (they take it as an insult; it implies that they're not as friendly/approachable as they want to believe)
  - is a form of attack (eg trying to intimidate you; maybe you seem "weak" (easy target for their anger at people/society; also animals/mammals (of which is a large part of our human makeup) tend to pick on the weak individuals of their "pack", either due to pure instincts, desperate hunger, pecking order (& maintaining dominance/status))
  - power/control/manipulation (is an inate urge of humans; some have it more than others; for some it is a "drug"; also related to pecking-order)
  - they're "out of it" (in a mental "haze" or "fog"; on whatever their drug of choice is - sugar, caffeine, alcohol, MEDICATION (maybe even what you're on!), harder drugs; or the more "natural" drugs such as people, love, sex, food, entertainment; these are all "drugs" and they certainly can prevent the human mind from thinking clearly & being aware of their effects on others)
  - they want a reaction out of you (from post by Misterhopefull on thread "Clever comebacks"; "Well I think the real reason people do that is they want a reaction out of you. I doubt they care if you're a loner or whatever. They just want you to respond, and when you do respond it's either they feel bad about messing with you or they keep messing with you")
  - or ANY COMBINATION of the above
• Duration of stare:
  - Secretely (break stare the moment you "spot" them; avoiding all eye-contact)
  - Transient (for an instant after making eye-contact; so, wanted to make that transient eye-contact (for whatever reason))
  - Momentary (maintain eye-contact/staring for a second/so after detection)
  - Prolonged (this is the rude one (or rudest one); anywhere from a few seconds upwards; whatever the case/reason, it can almost never be considered "polite" (in any stretch of the imagination; there's just NO EXCUSE for it; the offender can therefore safely be accurately categorised as (for want of a better description) a COMPLETELY V*LE, IGNORANT-AS-F***, INSENSITIVE F***ING B***ARD/B**CH); this goes for children as well (why be "easy" on them when thy're not on you?); they're SICK UGLY F*CKS, but being anally-focussed maybe you're giving them a break from thinking/feeling about their own f*cked-up problems, and so they're actually in their own warped little way GREATFUL to you - THEY NEED YOU!!! YOU ARE A (temporary) SAVIOUR to them!!! Needy losers, haha - oh sorry pal, don't mean to LAUGH at you!!! ---> See how easy it is to "turn-the-tables" on them? You need to keep practising & practising & practising these thoughts until you can do them IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE, and like them you can "parrot-it-off" easily & freely)

Got tonnes more of this stuff in my head & scrawled down over a million bits of paper .. might add to this list later sometime...

 

[dottie]

@thesmallestloser oh man that is gold! this made me laugh so much. it is so true!

 

[EasySkanking]

I don't have much time to write a good post, but I'll just say this:

-Are you giving them a reason to stare at you? Is there is something out of the ordinary about you? (Even you would stare at something that differs from your everyday expectations). Ie: extremly overweight, weird haircut, strange clothing....etc... (anything that differs). Then THAT'S why they stare... it has nothing to do with YOU PERSONALLY .

-I used to think that people were starring at me, but it just wasn't true - my anxiety triggers very unclear blurry stupified thinking and it thinks that I'm being starred at (maybe it even 'slows down' time) but I really am not... people just look at me - just as you would at someone that is nearing you. I've noticed this phenomenon, because at times I am able to remain 100% calm, and I notice that people do look at me, but just to look... I can be wearing the same clothing.... looking the same and if I let me anxiety kick in, and I get all paranoid, then I feel like I'm being starred at.... though I really am not (just being looked at ). Try this yourself.... go out calmly and realize how things really are... unless there's something about you that is worth staring at (in which case, if you are happy with it, then just don't give a **** about it )

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

My problem is, I don't want others to think I'm staring at them, so I can never figure out where to look. Then it becomes a weird psychological game that torments me.
Nice post though smallestloser. The one that bothers me most and I'm most paranoid about is they "react to fear, and I'm an easy target."
I feel that everyone around me can sense I don't get out much.

 

[Iseesky]

It's kind of a vain thought, isn't it?
That when you walk into a room everyone is staring at you...Not paying attention to anyone else, but just observing what you're doing.

People don't really care about you. I mean that in the nicest way possible. YES people are looking at you! Staring at you? Probably not, but maybe. As others have said, they could be looking at you for various reasons. Just yesterday I was in the lineup at college to get my student ID card and I was staring and observing a girl for quite awhile. I didn't realize I was doing it, but I eventually caught myself. She was a plain girl, nothing to look at, but she was reading a book that I've always wanted to read and that's why I started looking at her. It may sound creepy, but I was observing her. She had brown hair with a thick streak of blonde at the side. She had a tattoo of a tiny green star behind her ear and a yellow shirt with a face on it. She was also wearing red glasses. I thought nothing more than 'she must be a cool person' and I eventually stopped staring carried on with my own business. In a few days I'll probably forget all about her and the rest of the people in the lineup. What else are you supposed to do in the line? You can only read the posters on the walls so many times before you lose it.

But yeah, people will stare. People are curious. Most of the time they'll look and look away. Unless they find you attractive or interesting in some way. They aren't going to waste their time staring at you unless you catch their attention. And sadly, most of the time that doesn't happen.

 

[Ignace]

I have this too. Both boys and girls. So I'm attractive, ugly, or I act weird. Hmmm, I do act weird with friends, maybe too active..

 

[Falkor]

My problem is, I don't want others to think I'm staring at them, so I can never figure out where to look. Then it becomes a weird psychological game that torments me.
Nice post though smallestloser. The one that bothers me most and I'm most paranoid about is they "react to fear, and I'm an easy target."
I feel that everyone around me can sense I don't get out much.

Wow both thing you mentioned, are exactly things i have !!
I don't know where to look at, so i end up staring back.. omg!!!
Just to look if they are still staring, it's like a game.. o.o
And i feel like everyone senses that im a lonely girl, with not a really social life..
But hey, we all stare, don't we?