Checkonit22
Well-known member
*this is removed*
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The fake "How are you?"
- Thread starter Checkonit22
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Confuseddd
Well-known member
Is it not possible conversation is built off those three words? How are you?
And other variations or ice breakers so to speak. People engage in pleasantrys for a reason... (most of the time)
And other variations or ice breakers so to speak. People engage in pleasantrys for a reason... (most of the time)
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
Yep. I used to get angry at the few How Ya Doin'? greetings, but that's all they are: greetings. Ways to feel each other out. As for important convo starters, they're not too good.
You can either go along with it, tell them how you REALLY are (a trick my friend used to do: the other person's face always went 'uh-oh'), or twist the way the talk goes so something useful comes out of it if you want to pursue it & actually get to know someone else.
YouTube - Six Ways To Save A Sinking Conversation
You can either go along with it, tell them how you REALLY are (a trick my friend used to do: the other person's face always went 'uh-oh'), or twist the way the talk goes so something useful comes out of it if you want to pursue it & actually get to know someone else.
YouTube - Six Ways To Save A Sinking Conversation
Tiercel
Well-known member
So do I. And I usually shrug and say, "Well, I'm still alive."
I figure I'll let them interpret that however they wish.
Anomaly
Well-known member
Although that could definitely work, I assume it's given when I'm having a conversation. I instead bore/torture people by telling them some tidbits of my day's events.
JamesSmith
Well-known member
This may sound weird, but I've always thought the hardest and one of the most common questions ever asked is "What's up?" In the past my response has been "nothing," but i've thought about how negative that sounds. It sounds like i'm telling the person I'm depressed. It seems like the best answer would be to start talking about what you are doing. I'm also one of those people who will answer a question with a question, or not answer their hello question. Like if someone says how are you doing? I'll say hello. It's because I'm so shy I don't want to give a full answer.
That question always puts me in an awkward position. I always wonder if the other person is genuinely interested in how I've been or if they're throwing one out there just to sound polite. Sometimes I dunno if I ought to reply with a curt "Fine, thanks, and you?" or a proper, long answer. Then again no matter how I answer the question I sometimes can't continue the conversation. *sighs*
GoBlue72
Well-known member
This has irked me for awhile as well. I think I've finally learned that unless you're talking to your doctor, therapist, partner, or family member, they really DON'T want to know. They're just being polite. Like others might here, I have a difficult time lying about how I feel. I've resigned myself to alternating between "okay", "pretty good", or something like that which is not the total truth all the time, but good enough for them to feel I gave them an answer. People really don't want to hear...."well, my bunions have been giving me problems, and I only slept one hour last night, and my girlfriend broke up with me, blah, blah, blah." If they get that response, they likely won't ask "how are you" the next time.
Checkonit22
Well-known member
*this is removed*
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"How are you?" -- I almost always respond with "I'm good. How are you?" Even if it's not exactly true, I don't feel like I have the right to dump my problems on other people. When they ask that question, they usually want to hear "I'm good."
"What's up?" -- I usually respond with "Not much. How are you?" Most people recognize that I have a giant wall around me at all hours of the day and are respectful of it. That's AvPD for you.
"What's up?" -- I usually respond with "Not much. How are you?" Most people recognize that I have a giant wall around me at all hours of the day and are respectful of it. That's AvPD for you.
JamesSmith
Well-known member
One time I was talking to this outgoing girl and she admitted she didn't know how to answer "what's up" either. I don't know why, but it just stumps some people such as myself and her.
lisalove22
Active member
I agree. Whats up is a really difficult question to answer. Sometimes i have to think for some seconds before i answer and just stand there like a freak 
BlueDays
1
I agree with this. I find "whats up?" much more intimidating to answer then "How are you?" too.
You can lie and say a one word answer...."Fine" with the "How are you?" greeting.
However the "What's up?" one requires more detail and social interaction.
I take the "How are you?" as a kind of rhetorical question, more of a statement that acknowledges your presence, like the old fashioned "Good day".
JamesSmith
Well-known member
I think every one of my friends say what's up as a greeting in person to me, and i'm not over-exaggerating that. I can't picture them saying "how are you?" or "hello" unless maybe they were answering the phone.
scoobycrawler
Well-known member
we say howdy here in texas
Falkor
1
if people ask ''How are you?''
their not only asking ''how i am'' they are also asking to tell something. like this:
how are you?
i'm good thank you! i was just doing this.... or i just came back from this great holiday.. or... i just saw this nice topic about... or.... i just listened to this nice song... or do you know what i just heard? or... do you know what my mom just told me? or.... do you know what i just did , i have been doing.... today..
they want to hear about you.
like not answer with ''í'm good, what about you''.
i have to tell a story about things. and find things to talk about.
i practiced this a lot and it helped me become more communicational.
but still, i tend to forget this, and i become very quiet.
but nowadays i'm much more talk-active, human kind is made to talk.
so we should have something to talk about , cuz people would like to hear ya.
i think that would make a conversation much more interested, if someone tells about himself a lot more, if someone comes up with a nice subject or an interesting fact, or talking about deep thoughts in mind and talk about educational subjects or about your hobbies like everyone else does.
talk about what happens in your daily life, and what goes on in your invirement. that works a lot to keep a conversation going.
and to keep it goin', keep on being questionized about the other person, just think about what you wanna know. so many questions you still could ask to your convo partner.
i learned a lot through this and just wanted to share
their not only asking ''how i am'' they are also asking to tell something. like this:
how are you?
i'm good thank you! i was just doing this.... or i just came back from this great holiday.. or... i just saw this nice topic about... or.... i just listened to this nice song... or do you know what i just heard? or... do you know what my mom just told me? or.... do you know what i just did , i have been doing.... today..
they want to hear about you.
like not answer with ''í'm good, what about you''.
i have to tell a story about things. and find things to talk about.
i practiced this a lot and it helped me become more communicational.
but still, i tend to forget this, and i become very quiet.
but nowadays i'm much more talk-active, human kind is made to talk.
so we should have something to talk about , cuz people would like to hear ya.
i think that would make a conversation much more interested, if someone tells about himself a lot more, if someone comes up with a nice subject or an interesting fact, or talking about deep thoughts in mind and talk about educational subjects or about your hobbies like everyone else does.
talk about what happens in your daily life, and what goes on in your invirement. that works a lot to keep a conversation going.
and to keep it goin', keep on being questionized about the other person, just think about what you wanna know. so many questions you still could ask to your convo partner.
i learned a lot through this and just wanted to share
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vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
I think it's probably easier to try to develop a conversation from "How's it going" or "what's up" for the reason that it's scripted, easy to remember, and everyone is expecting it. If you're talking with a close friend I think this goes quick, and sometimes completely skipped to indulge in more meaningful conversation.
But with less close friends and strangers I think it is to help wade into conversation. I know I have to have a pre-prepared response to all these sorts of greetings if I don't get tongue tied trying to say three different things, and I think everyone, or a lot of people, may have this same feeling of uncomfortableness even if it is on a much less severe level. I think both parties of a conversation is aware it is scripted, but don't care. That's the point, to wade into conversation. Maybe a response will trigger something to talk about, or at least make both people feel more comfortable. Just a theory, haven't had many conversations to back it up though ::
And in regards to the "What's up" dilemma, I usually take it as a rhetorical greeting, not a question. So if someone says "what's up" to me I'll say "hey" or "hi" in response. Unless of course they say hi, I say hi, and then they ask what's up, in which I will reply nothing or nothing really.
But with less close friends and strangers I think it is to help wade into conversation. I know I have to have a pre-prepared response to all these sorts of greetings if I don't get tongue tied trying to say three different things, and I think everyone, or a lot of people, may have this same feeling of uncomfortableness even if it is on a much less severe level. I think both parties of a conversation is aware it is scripted, but don't care. That's the point, to wade into conversation. Maybe a response will trigger something to talk about, or at least make both people feel more comfortable. Just a theory, haven't had many conversations to back it up though :
:And in regards to the "What's up" dilemma, I usually take it as a rhetorical greeting, not a question. So if someone says "what's up" to me I'll say "hey" or "hi" in response. Unless of course they say hi, I say hi, and then they ask what's up, in which I will reply nothing or nothing really.
Checkonit22
Well-known member
I think it's probably easier to try to develop a conversation from "How's it going" or "what's up" for the reason that it's scripted, easy to remember, and everyone is expecting it. If you're talking with a close friend I think this goes quick, and sometimes completely skipped to indulge in more meaningful conversation.
But with less close friends and strangers I think it is to help wade into conversation. I know I have to have a pre-prepared response to all these sorts of greetings if I don't get tongue tied trying to say three different things, and I think everyone, or a lot of people, may have this same feeling of uncomfortableness even if it is on a much less severe level. I think both parties of a conversation is aware it is scripted, but don't care. That's the point, to wade into conversation. Maybe a response will trigger something to talk about, or at least make both people feel more comfortable. Just a theory, haven't had many conversations to back it up though :
And in regards to the "What's up" dilemma, I usually take it as a rhetorical greeting, not a question. So if someone says "what's up" to me I'll say "hey" or "hi" in response. Unless of course they say hi, I say hi, and then they ask what's up, in which I will reply nothing or nothing really.
That's it! I think you got it right on point. Never could figure it out, but you are right. It is a rhetorical greeting.
Infact, it's the other "Hello"