I'm sure everyone has had this happen at one point or another. I end up I can't stop replaying it over and over in my head when it happens. Someone comes in to hug you and you go to hug them and you end up giving them a kiss too, right on their ear or neck lol. Or you go in to hug someone and they were just expecting a handshake and they end up giving you this really awkward hug..and afterwords you just feel like hiding in a little ball. I seem to be notorious for this..it seems to happen to me everytime. I try to be friendly although I have social phobia..but I turn a simple greeting or goodbye into the most awkward experience at family events..meeting new people etc. lol. And I try to laugh it off to myself but its hard. I don't want anything to think I'm weird.
The awkward hug or kiss.
- Thread starter PhillyFlyersGrl
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lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
I've never had that happen to me, luckily.
I'm always terrified of this happening, which is why I never initiate hugs or anything of the sort. I don't have a "huggy" family, so even when I see my mom I think, "Uh-oh, do I go in for a hug? Do I just say hi and keep my distance?" Sometimes I meet people who are huggers, and they come in for a hug no matter whether you are just meeting them, or saying goodbye, or what. As long as they initiate the hug, I'm usually fine with it.
Now that I think of it, I did have an extremely awkward hug once. I met my ex-bf's Big Brother (as in the program for underprivileged children). Anyway, this 40-ish year old guy came in for a hug, and he wasn't a whole lot taller than I am, and I wasn't expecting a full on hug so I didn't turn my face away. So we hugged pretty much face to face, staring at each other, lol. It makes me laugh to think about it. Sometimes you just have to embrace the ridiculousness of it.
Now that I think of it, I did have an extremely awkward hug once. I met my ex-bf's Big Brother (as in the program for underprivileged children). Anyway, this 40-ish year old guy came in for a hug, and he wasn't a whole lot taller than I am, and I wasn't expecting a full on hug so I didn't turn my face away. So we hugged pretty much face to face, staring at each other, lol. It makes me laugh to think about it. Sometimes you just have to embrace the ridiculousness of it.
You know...I've never thought, "Should I hug this person?" Maybe I'm completely oblivious to social expectations or something but it's just something I never consider doing. The only people who go in for the hug with me are family members and it's kinda awkward, but usually more so for them because everyone knows I'm not the huggy-type and I'm just doing it for their benefit. And I'm a girl. So maybe people DO expect me to hug often and are put off when I don't but I've honestly never been conscious of it.
It's always been weird to me that people find hugging comforting or polite.
It's always been weird to me that people find hugging comforting or polite.
LOL! That's funny!
I think that my most awkward hug occurred when I was employed part-time with a female boss who was quite... abrasive and caustic in her dealing with most people. During the holiday season she decided to host an Xmas dinner party at a local restaurant. Of course attendance was mandatory so, I went. (I remember spending a whole week worrying about what it would be like, sitting with unfamiliar coworkers...Needless to say, I was anxiety-ridden by the time the event rolled around.)
I arrived at the restaurant earlier than the rest of my coworkers so, I sought refuge in the washroom, thinking that I would have a safe haven for a while until others turned up. Wrong.
My boss walks in and says ''Merry Christmas''. I was cornered. She stepped towards me and I stood there in shock. She sort of leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me, palms on the sides of my arm and awkwardly gave me a hug. I realized that this was a hugging cue so, I reacted! I stretched out my arms to hug her as she stepped away so, I sort of .... clung to her? Awkwardly? =_=;
There was a lot of silence afterwards. lol
I agree with Absoloutely_Sweet_Mhaarie. You just have to laugh sometimes
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Gaucho
Well-known member
in the country i lived my entire life it is normal to give 2(left and right cheek) kisses, even if you don't know that person. for example a mother of a friend, even the grandmother of a friend sometimes, presenting persons, always 2 kisses. the good thing about it is, that you know what to do, the bad thing is sometimes its a bit awkward. what if that person wants to give you a kiss on the other cheek first and you accidentally kiss on th mouth, happened to me, awkward LOL
lol Gaucho.
What bother's me most about hugging/kissing people etc is when I was a kid up into my early teens it just felt so natural..I don't recall having the awkwardness problem until I got older and my social phobia started developing. I think if you hesitate it makes it worse or if you mistake someones cue for a hug or a kiss..thinking too much about what to do. I think social phobia really takes away your natural ability to read people..instead you end up overthinking.
What bother's me most about hugging/kissing people etc is when I was a kid up into my early teens it just felt so natural..I don't recall having the awkwardness problem until I got older and my social phobia started developing. I think if you hesitate it makes it worse or if you mistake someones cue for a hug or a kiss..thinking too much about what to do. I think social phobia really takes away your natural ability to read people..instead you end up overthinking.
I'l share one of my stories.
I had 1 of the most awkward hugs ever not that long ago. I went to a birthday party for one of my husband's friends, it was first time meeting him. Anyway although I have S.P. it wasn't too bad of a party because it was at a pool hall..so I could do something to distract from having to talk to people too much, I like playing pool. Well as we were getting ready to leave..I figure I'll be friendly and tell the guy Happy birthday and give him a hug goodbye...well this guy when I went to give him a hug..didn't want to budge..his feet kinda planted in the ground..he ended up giving me a very half hearted hug. It struck me then that he was probably a very introverted person and doesn't hug people he doesn't know. I should have just said Happy birthday and gave a wave goodbye. (just a note although I have S.P. I try to fight through it and be friendly if I work up nerve, I'm also on medication which helps.)
I had 1 of the most awkward hugs ever not that long ago. I went to a birthday party for one of my husband's friends, it was first time meeting him. Anyway although I have S.P. it wasn't too bad of a party because it was at a pool hall..so I could do something to distract from having to talk to people too much, I like playing pool. Well as we were getting ready to leave..I figure I'll be friendly and tell the guy Happy birthday and give him a hug goodbye...well this guy when I went to give him a hug..didn't want to budge..his feet kinda planted in the ground..he ended up giving me a very half hearted hug. It struck me then that he was probably a very introverted person and doesn't hug people he doesn't know. I should have just said Happy birthday and gave a wave goodbye. (just a note although I have S.P. I try to fight through it and be friendly if I work up nerve, I'm also on medication which helps.)
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Srijita52
Well-known member
Oh I'm sorry that happened. But its not your fault, how're you supposed to know that he's not comfortable with hugs. You did try your best to be friendly.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Sometimes you just never know whether a hug is appropriate or not. I don't think you did anything wrong, but it's always one of those things that replay in your mind because that's just how it is.
Thanks..I know your right.
Thanks.
I think I take myself way too seriously..or maybe thats normal with S.P. Sometimes things seem magnifyed.
fedupoffear88
Well-known member
I have something similar where I try to hug the female when they try to kiss me on the cheek, and what ends up happening is that she kisses my neck while I hug her...LOL!
But, this only happens sometimes, as it occurs only with people that I have talked to multiple times. I usually stick with just a handshake, and I would suggest you do the same. As that will make it very obvious when someone tries to hug you, you will know to do the same.
But, this only happens sometimes, as it occurs only with people that I have talked to multiple times. I usually stick with just a handshake, and I would suggest you do the same. As that will make it very obvious when someone tries to hug you, you will know to do the same.
dallasthekid
Well-known member
this happens to me all the time lol. another thing that happens is when you go to give another guy a handshake, but which kind of handshake, it could get pretty awkward haha.
persianfan247
Active member
MikeyC
Well-known member
Possibly. It's still one of those things that I know I would replay if it happened to me.Thanks.