If you are a guy even if you don't say anything,people will assume you are a virgin,inexperienced or gay if they don't see you with girls,I am pretty sure a lot of guys here went through this,I had sexual experiences when I was a teen,but after that I really lost interest I don't know why,if I don't like or love them I have no interest.
The 30-year-old virgin
- Thread starter Rumplestiltskin
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jayfan
Well-known member
I never get seen with females recently but no one thinks I'm gay. I have my kids with me all the time.
I was a virgin till I was 23 and have only slept with 7 girls in my life and have been made fun of by one person and told that's a low number by people ive told.....it's better not to have it at all. Once you have it becomes addicting and it gets even worst when you don't have it because you know what your missing...I'm on a current 4 month drought .. Haven't had sex since since I dumped my ex girl at the end of summer..
Smh ima loser...
I was a virgin till I was 23 and have only slept with 7 girls in my life and have been made fun of by one person and told that's a low number by people ive told.....it's better not to have it at all. Once you have it becomes addicting and it gets even worst when you don't have it because you know what your missing...I'm on a current 4 month drought .. Haven't had sex since since I dumped my ex girl at the end of summer..
Smh ima loser...
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Zipper
Well-known member
Every person on this thread who hasn't had sex is not far from becoming sexually experienced, if you would only take the necessary steps to get it. And by sex, I mean mutual, caring, sober, adult, free sex with someone who is being kind to you and who you are being kind to. No coercion, no payment. How close? My guess is that each of you could have sex within 48 hours. I know that for me, from the moment when I made up my mind that I was willing to take the risk and pay the emotional cost, I was having sex before 48 hours had elapsed. We all make choices in life and rank priorities. We decide what is important to us, and what we are ready to sacrifice. We choose what beliefs we have and what we will take as evidence to support those beliefs. Life is a compromise. If you had strong enough desire, with a willingness to give up everything else that is precious to you, then you would get what you want in 48 hours.
Comments from women about a male's sexual attraction to a 19 year old woman have to be read in context. From the perspective of an adult male, take those comments about "creepiness" for what they are worth, understanding where they are coming from.
Comments from women about a male's sexual attraction to a 19 year old woman have to be read in context. From the perspective of an adult male, take those comments about "creepiness" for what they are worth, understanding where they are coming from.
Megaten
Well-known member
I could be wrong, but I think the major problem with late virgins is the feeling of being undesirable to the gender they're attracted to. Not so much just wanting to get their groove on. A hooker could actually make these bad feelings worse since in all honesty they just want to get paid and not beat by their pimps more so than care about your feelings.
Personally i think,in modern society its a weight on a guy mentally to be a virgin,more so than women because in relationships women expect a guy to perform,they like a guy with experience.Men don't necessarily want women with a lot of experience,that might be generalizing a bit but you get the idea.
I know some are saying its not important losing your virginity and stuff like that and doesnt change who you are etc. and all that is totally true and in a perfect world it shouldn't make a difference but its not a perfect world it won't ever be.The prostitute way is the only way to go,take your time choose the right one and even if it takes a number of times,get to know her,build up to it,there is plenty of nice friendly prostitutes and when they are getting paid they will be glad of someone like you.
Megaten
Well-known member
Well I mean it depends on what we're talking about. If we're talking about flings then yeah your experience might be important, but if we're talking about relationships then Im not so sure. Once someone falls for you they've fallen for you. But like some others said, I don't think you'd want to tell someone this early on as that's very personal information and could lead to some awkwardness.
Bronson99
Well-known member
If we are talking practically here, what kind of scenario are you suggesting here? As an example, going out to a bar on a Friday or Saturday night..? You make it sound easy, and I'm afraid it really is anything but. Especially for folks with social anxiety.
NamiraWilhelm
Well-known member
Actually I agree, getting laid is extremely easy. If you're the type to not care where it comes from, don't need an attachment etc and no I don't mean prostitution. Clubs, bars, lots of people looking to get off everywhere
whoever said its creepy to think a teenage girl is hot....wtf are you on? girls have their periods at like 12...meaning they are ready to bear a ****ing child. I'm not saying I'm into 12 year olds or anything...but yeah I've seen some hot 16 17 18 year olds no doubt. I will still think they are hot when im 60. Why would i not???? what dafuq lol. calling someone creepy for finder teens attractive is some cultural/societal bullshit. its just taboo, not morally wrong.
Zipper
Well-known member
In practical application, my method is like what you see in the following YouTube video. Everyone one this thread has the mobility, language and motor skills in order to follow this method. The only question is -- would you want to? People have to choose what kind of life they want to live. After they've made their choice, they would be wise to be pleased with it, having no regrets. Your choice may be to be a sexless person, and that's ok. Different choices are available to a person if he is willing to suffer the consequences.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ira9A7wSW3M
Metal_isthe_Answer
Well-known member
Only 7? Kind of seems like a lot to me, like 3 or 4 too many, but thats me I guess
Metal_isthe_Answer
Well-known member
This made me laugh, a friend I used to work with said "if it bleeds is breeds," another guy said "if there's grass on the field play ball."
I wouldn't seek out women 10 years younger than me, but if she was the right person, and ok with the age difference, why not right?
R3K
Well-known member
if ur seeking sex in a structured, relationship way with a girlfriend... it's going to probably be boring and unfulfilling.
if you want flingy, no strings attached sex with some girl u meet at the club/bar... it's going to be smelly, dirty, and regretful.
a young, ****ty coworker of mine cornered me at an outing with other coworkers after she'd pounded about 400 beers, she flung herself into my arms and forced me to make out with her. is pent the next 8 hours soberly bar-babysitting her *** and smelling her nasty breath. she kept talking about having sex, and I was thinking like... i'd considered it before tonight, but now i'm completely disgusted and just want to fkn escape somehow but i'm kinda worried ur gonna be kidnapped, raped and killd.
if you want flingy, no strings attached sex with some girl u meet at the club/bar... it's going to be smelly, dirty, and regretful.
a young, ****ty coworker of mine cornered me at an outing with other coworkers after she'd pounded about 400 beers, she flung herself into my arms and forced me to make out with her. is pent the next 8 hours soberly bar-babysitting her *** and smelling her nasty breath. she kept talking about having sex, and I was thinking like... i'd considered it before tonight, but now i'm completely disgusted and just want to fkn escape somehow but i'm kinda worried ur gonna be kidnapped, raped and killd.
Sex therapy is kept confidential ... In sex therapy the therapist understand your problem and then slowly and patiently works with you through your problem ... I understand what you are going through , I come from a country where they say sex is a taboo until you are married and suddenly expected to PROVIDE SEX...
advancedatheist
New member
A rational society wouldn't leave something this important to the haphazard. If you have a teenage son, and you can see that girls don't find your boy sexually attractive, don't just shrug it off as a phase and that young women will find him more sexually attractive in his 20's - because it may not work out that way. The boy needs to get some kind of help to turn his situation around quickly.
Boys need to acquire the rudiments of what I call the Adult Man's Skill Set (AMSS) in their late teens and early 20's for other important reasons outside of learning how to get into sexual relationships through dating. The AMSS doesn't exist in isolation, but it applies to dealing with women successfully in other areas, especially in the work place Women respect the sexually confident man more than the sexually in- or under-experienced man.
Boys need to acquire the rudiments of what I call the Adult Man's Skill Set (AMSS) in their late teens and early 20's for other important reasons outside of learning how to get into sexual relationships through dating. The AMSS doesn't exist in isolation, but it applies to dealing with women successfully in other areas, especially in the work place Women respect the sexually confident man more than the sexually in- or under-experienced man.
Bronson99
Well-known member
Well I certainly do not want to be a sexless person. I never have been, to be honest.
But have you considered this:
1) First of all, in the video you have linked to, only 2 out of 200 (from what I read there? I didn't watch the whole thing) said yes, that means he had to deal with 198 women declining and/or embarrassing him
2) You also have to consider videos will be heavily edited and perhaps even faked, to attract viewership. It is perfectly conceivable, then, that the 2 women who said yes may just be staffers for this internet company or 2 friends of this man, etc.
So my opinion is that the above method is probably not viable at all, and a man employing that is likely to have zero percent acceptance unless he is some kind of gym-rat Adonis or something.
So in summary, whether or not the type of method seen in the video could work, it seems to me you (and possibly others here) make it sound easy. But how can it be easy if you've got social anxiety, you're shy and awkward, etc?
Just let me illustrate that difficulty to you, with an example: I was on a dating site for a month, about one year ago. I tried my best, and still could not even get a single email address from anyone. I can't imagine staying on that depressing site for another 5 months would have been any different, either.. and I can't see the use in staying in a losing game, it eats away at one's self-esteem. I imagine the same could be said of approaching women in real life..
Bronson99
Well-known member
This is rubbish, IMO
Zipper
Well-known member
Bronson --
I didn't say that the video perfectly illustrated my method, but I said that it they were alike, more or less. Obviously a person could do things a bit differently in order to raise the chance of success in terms of finding a partner. For example, a person could initiate small-talk first, could meet a person in a group rather than anonymous setting, one could speak in euphemysms rather than taking the direct method. One could ask for sex after several encounters or dates. All of these are variations on the same theme that you see in the video. It's a difference in degree.
Even a success rate of 1 out of 200 may count as a success to the person, whatever that person judges to be a success. It certainly can immediately solve the problem of being a "30-year-old-virgin." It it is objectively not, as you say, a "zero percent acceptance."
As for dealing with 198 women declining a person -- each person decides what significance, if any, they will ascribe to this experience. The meaning of this experience does not press itself upon you from the outside, but is open to interpretation. Obviously the makers of this video were amused and delighted by the experience of rejection. A person with Social Anxiety may choose to interpret this in a negative or destructive manner -- whatever makes a person happiest.
I didn't say that the video perfectly illustrated my method, but I said that it they were alike, more or less. Obviously a person could do things a bit differently in order to raise the chance of success in terms of finding a partner. For example, a person could initiate small-talk first, could meet a person in a group rather than anonymous setting, one could speak in euphemysms rather than taking the direct method. One could ask for sex after several encounters or dates. All of these are variations on the same theme that you see in the video. It's a difference in degree.
Even a success rate of 1 out of 200 may count as a success to the person, whatever that person judges to be a success. It certainly can immediately solve the problem of being a "30-year-old-virgin." It it is objectively not, as you say, a "zero percent acceptance."
As for dealing with 198 women declining a person -- each person decides what significance, if any, they will ascribe to this experience. The meaning of this experience does not press itself upon you from the outside, but is open to interpretation. Obviously the makers of this video were amused and delighted by the experience of rejection. A person with Social Anxiety may choose to interpret this in a negative or destructive manner -- whatever makes a person happiest.
Metal_isthe_Answer
Well-known member
Sorry but I honestly cant read that without laughing. What does a sex therapist do though? Surely they don't "work with you" if you know what I mean