Hastings & Main
Well-known member
Hello!
Hey everybody.
My last post here.
Okay, I joined this thing in Oct. 2011. I had had enough, I was going through some very bad stuff that was making my living intolerable. I did a Google search. By chance, I found this site. I read through a few threads. I realized that this S.A.D. was not something just aimed at me through Fate's sniper-scope. I sought answers and I found none. Although, I DID find many MANY tips and points of advice. Almost immediately, I found solace and understanding.
THIS - this site, was my very first step towards well-being.
I just wanted to stop by one last time to say thank you to whomever founded this site, and to all who kept it going.
Now, many people who have been on here, who have registered and have posted, have found the answer and have moved on, hopefully to better lives and an understanding of what this (in retrospect) ridiculous mental malady has made of them.
I took pieces from here and there, applied my own observances of life around me, put them together and found a tunnel in this maze of a mine-shaft with a little light shining off in the distance.
I am nearly 45 years old. I have been alone most of those years. I have wanted companionship for as many of those years that I have been alone. Someone to understand me. Hell, maybe even not to understand me, but just to be there for me. Friends? Yes, a few. They are just as screwed up as I am. Living with SAD, I collect the disenfranchised as acquaintances. It can't be helped. It's whom I register with. Frankly, I wouldn't trade any of my few friendships with 'normal' friends with any amount of money you could throw in my direction. We're unique. I understand what too few do not.
How did I finally escape this 'hell'? Well... it's a long and short, complicated and simple story. The stupid and utterly aggravating thing about leaving your SAD behind like a bad habit is -
it's different for every individual.
You have to reach that point where it's best to venture into uncharted territory rather than go through the same f'n torment every damn day. You have to actually use some advice posted in a column somewhere rather than bookmarking it for "later, when I have the time"; you have to realize that, finally, other people's thoughts...
mean absolutely NOTHING in
your
own
life.
The secret? The secret.
Want to know what the big bad secret of this all is?
You take that first step.
That's all.
It's a tiny step; oh, it's a HUGE STEP IN YOUR HEAD, BUT it's honestly such a tiny step (when you look back it'll be as obvious as breathing) that soon you'll be running a marathon with no breaks.
You knock down that wall. That very first wall. That very very first wall is HUGE. You look at that wall in front of you, that thing that is there, right now, making you all nervous and "I can't think of a comeback, and please don't make me make eye-contact with you" quivering with fear?
That wall has "I'm ugly" on it.
That wall has "I'm not worth your time" on it.
That wall has "I am uninteresting" on it.
That wall has "I am boring" on it.
That wall has "You're making fun of me" on it.
That wall has "You're trying to get inside me to hurt me" on it
That wall has your entire life all over it, and it is time to own it.
This sounds like pure BS, right here. Like some spiritual-awakening stuff. But it isn't, I assure you. You realize what it takes to dig that first chip in your personal wall, and you're pretty much on your way out.
One more secret, before I sign off.
Amazingly, once you conquer your first fear, the others will fall away like dominoes in slow motion. Your brain realizes that the first fear was like a photo of a monster you saw when you were a child: incredibly frightening, but later on you realized there was nothing at all behind it.
Realize this: once you start, your mind will naturally kick your remaining old fears out of the way like garbage on the street. It just happens. The assassination of the big guy in front sends the little guys behind just scrambling for cover. It really is the damnedest thing. Soon there will be nothing in front of you but what you have always deserved: peace of mind.
S.A.D. is impenetrable armor right now. Look back and it seems a soap-bubble. Take the time. You are worth every moment.
Thank you.
Hey everybody.
My last post here.
Okay, I joined this thing in Oct. 2011. I had had enough, I was going through some very bad stuff that was making my living intolerable. I did a Google search. By chance, I found this site. I read through a few threads. I realized that this S.A.D. was not something just aimed at me through Fate's sniper-scope. I sought answers and I found none. Although, I DID find many MANY tips and points of advice. Almost immediately, I found solace and understanding.
THIS - this site, was my very first step towards well-being.
I just wanted to stop by one last time to say thank you to whomever founded this site, and to all who kept it going.
Now, many people who have been on here, who have registered and have posted, have found the answer and have moved on, hopefully to better lives and an understanding of what this (in retrospect) ridiculous mental malady has made of them.
I took pieces from here and there, applied my own observances of life around me, put them together and found a tunnel in this maze of a mine-shaft with a little light shining off in the distance.
I am nearly 45 years old. I have been alone most of those years. I have wanted companionship for as many of those years that I have been alone. Someone to understand me. Hell, maybe even not to understand me, but just to be there for me. Friends? Yes, a few. They are just as screwed up as I am. Living with SAD, I collect the disenfranchised as acquaintances. It can't be helped. It's whom I register with. Frankly, I wouldn't trade any of my few friendships with 'normal' friends with any amount of money you could throw in my direction. We're unique. I understand what too few do not.
How did I finally escape this 'hell'? Well... it's a long and short, complicated and simple story. The stupid and utterly aggravating thing about leaving your SAD behind like a bad habit is -
it's different for every individual.
You have to reach that point where it's best to venture into uncharted territory rather than go through the same f'n torment every damn day. You have to actually use some advice posted in a column somewhere rather than bookmarking it for "later, when I have the time"; you have to realize that, finally, other people's thoughts...
mean absolutely NOTHING in
your
own
life.
The secret? The secret.
Want to know what the big bad secret of this all is?
You take that first step.
That's all.
It's a tiny step; oh, it's a HUGE STEP IN YOUR HEAD, BUT it's honestly such a tiny step (when you look back it'll be as obvious as breathing) that soon you'll be running a marathon with no breaks.
You knock down that wall. That very first wall. That very very first wall is HUGE. You look at that wall in front of you, that thing that is there, right now, making you all nervous and "I can't think of a comeback, and please don't make me make eye-contact with you" quivering with fear?
That wall has "I'm ugly" on it.
That wall has "I'm not worth your time" on it.
That wall has "I am uninteresting" on it.
That wall has "I am boring" on it.
That wall has "You're making fun of me" on it.
That wall has "You're trying to get inside me to hurt me" on it
That wall has your entire life all over it, and it is time to own it.
This sounds like pure BS, right here. Like some spiritual-awakening stuff. But it isn't, I assure you. You realize what it takes to dig that first chip in your personal wall, and you're pretty much on your way out.
One more secret, before I sign off.
Amazingly, once you conquer your first fear, the others will fall away like dominoes in slow motion. Your brain realizes that the first fear was like a photo of a monster you saw when you were a child: incredibly frightening, but later on you realized there was nothing at all behind it.
Realize this: once you start, your mind will naturally kick your remaining old fears out of the way like garbage on the street. It just happens. The assassination of the big guy in front sends the little guys behind just scrambling for cover. It really is the damnedest thing. Soon there will be nothing in front of you but what you have always deserved: peace of mind.
S.A.D. is impenetrable armor right now. Look back and it seems a soap-bubble. Take the time. You are worth every moment.
Thank you.
