Spoken to my Mum.

[Chriiss]

I've had big issues for a while now with being depressed and social anxiety. And have managed to convince my family that I'm some sort of Confident fella. When inside I feel like an emotional wreck.
I've been isolating myself for atleast a year now and really struggle to have family meals at the table. Don't know why.. Just struggle with the small talk and I can't stand looking/hearing someone eat.. Is that weird?
Anyways I decided to speak to my Mum.. My Mum suffers from depression so I always thought not to give her added stress an worry. But I know she's been worried about me for a while so I went for it.
I have this diary which I have written in everyday for the last year. Not essays but short sentences on how my day went an how my mood was at the time. So I just gave that to my Mum... Explained about my suicidal thoughts.. Just everything. I just had to let it out.
Joining this forum has helped me and made me feel I wasn't alone.
So my Mum cried, I cried. She's gonna take me to the doctors and get proper medical advice.

I feel happier that I've told her.. But also don't want my Dad to know because he'll think I'm weak soo it's between me and my Mum at the moment.

Anyways I thought I'd just share that with everyone..
And thanks for Reading

 

[Emmaa]

That's good It's nice that your mum understands and wants to help you as well.. Make the most of any advice you're given by the doctor and see what happens I guess! Hopefully it can only get better, eh

 

[Chriiss]

Thanks Emma

 

[Kristina223]

That's really nice to hear. You're very lucky to have a mom that understands you and helps you.
I have similar story - my mom is also depressed, but unlike yours, she's in denial. She doesn't think that mental problems are really a health problem. And when I told her about my suicidal thoughts, she just laughed and asked me how am I planning to do it. At the end, she did "forbid" me to think about that, but she wasn't really serious about it. So yeah, I'm very happy for you and the fact that you have someone so close that you can talk to ... that's great.

and I can't stand looking/hearing someone eat.. Is that weird?

I have the same problem and I thought I was the only one. It's just disgusting to me watching/hearing someone eat. I understand that we all have to eat and that I eat too, but I just can't look at others. :: So I always eat alone - that's not really a problem with me, because our family never eats together anyways, but still.

 

[Chriiss]

Thanks Kristina.
Yee feels like a weights been lifted off my shoulders. Sorry to hear about your Mum.. It's horrible thing seeing your Mum unmotivated, always tired etc... I hope you've got someone to talk to.
The eating thing is horrible. I thought I was the only too haha. I always have to sit at the end of the table. My family think I'm so weird!

 

[kihira]

In my family two of us don't like eating in public/being watched eating; one hates eating and many other noises and will snap angrily at the person making them; and one eats noisily. Personally, I think that sitting around a table eating/talking where you are an arms length from others is unnatural. I can remember a Star Trek episode where the alien species considered eating as an act on the same level of privacy as copulating.

 

[Mystic-Biscuit]

Great to hear! Well done for getting it out there - I know how difficult it is telling someone - took me 8 years to tell my mum about my HH (I got pretty good at hiding it), and she turned out to be pretty supportive about it. Your mum sounds quite understanding, too, and I totally agree with you about joining this forum - it's already helped me out loads.

Anyway, hope the doctor can help you out.

 

[Chriiss]

That's good to hear! It is always important to have supportive family members or friends. Even if they are not doctors, they can be sensitivve to your condition and help reduce the stress in your environment. Hoprefully, both you and your mum can help each other. That's beautiful

Does she get treatment for her depression?

Yee she takes tablets daily I think.. She's not very open about it but who is.

Thanks everyone for your kind words

 

[Chriiss]

In my family two of us don't like eating in public/being watched eating; one hates eating and many other noises and will snap angrily at the person making them; and one eats noisily. Personally, I think that sitting around a table eating/talking where you are an arms length from others is unnatural. I can remember a Star Trek episode where the alien species considered eating as an act on the same level of privacy as copulating.

I agree Phocas. It does seem uneccesary to be touching each others elbows while eating. I think familys think there closer if they eat at the table. But from my experience I gain nothing from it, except I get all hot and flustered and just really irritated.

 

[Blaze]

Awesome Chriiss. I'm glad to hear you were able to discuss your anxieties with your mother. My mother is aware of my anxieties but we just do not discuss that sort of thing. There is enough going on with her divorce/ my dad going through court because he decided to attack me, so discussing my anxieties kinda just sit on the sideline. I don't really want any sort of therapy or doctors assistance, I'm kinda stubborn and am making small strides at helping myself, so I'm fine for now.

 

[Kiwong]

You and your mum can face your battles together. That's great.

 

[Chriiss]

Thanks Blaze. Sorry to hear about your Dad. Your a strong person trying to do it yourself.. Respect

Haha ye Kiwong!

 

[Phoenixx]

Wow. Glad to hear that you discussed your anxieties with your mom I've been wanting to tell my mom about everything I've been through the last 5 years, the anxiety, the depression, my SA in general and how it's just gotten worse. I just can't bring myself to tell her though. It's a little different with my mom. She teases me, and sometimes it can be really insulting. It only adds to my low self-esteem, my anxiety, etc. and it's these reasons why I keep things from her. From the teasing, I'm just too afraid to actually open up to her.

 

[Chriiss]

Wow. Glad to hear that you discussed your anxieties with your mom I've been wanting to tell my mom about everything I've been through the last 5 years, the anxiety, the depression, my SA in general and how it's just gotten worse. I just can't bring myself to tell her though. It's a little different with my mom. She teases me, and sometimes it can be really insulting. It only adds to my low self-esteem, my anxiety, etc. and it's these reasons why I keep things from her. From the teasing, I'm just too afraid to actually open up to her.

Maybe she hasn't realised how your actually feeling. My Mum new I was feeling down but never realised how bad I was feeling. I'm not the closest to my Mum but I feel closer now that I've explained everything to her.
I think you should go for it... She's your Mum, She will only want to help you

 

[Phoenixx]

^ Thanks I'll see if I can give it a go sometime, it's gonna take me a bit to work up the courage though... Yeah I'm not the closest to my mom either. I mean, we talk quite a bit, but it's mostly just little things. I've never really had personal talks with her, actually with neither of my parents.