I don't understand why you titled the thread what you did. Are you saying that by having social anxiety, it has helped your spiritual awareness? That your fears have helped you become in tune with the divine?
My SA led me to the practice of meditation about a year ago. I was just coming in to a house with people who I had mostly never met before and I knew I needed something to help calm me down. Unfortunately I never felt comfortable discussing that with them because I wanted to appear normal. Didn't want to shake the boat.
That, of course, just made it worse. I went pretty much the whole year never knowing If I could be comfortable around them. Then about a month or two ago when I was feeling particularly lost I had an experience around people that was very complicated but I will try to explain.
I was sitting on couch and everyone else was playing a RPG strategy game. I was feeling anxious so I decided to form my hands into the shape I did when meditating. Instantly, and I mean instantly, someone mentioned the word "guardian angel" and the room looked as if it was flashing. I had been looking into the subject earlier. The person who said it in particular was flashing gold. I was afraid to look. When I finally did I started to hear the voices of everyone in my head. It was as if I was speaking to their spirits directly, their higher selves, and the physical them didn't know it. But then I felt as if the game they were playing was real life. I was some sort of pillar (A golden buddha statue in the videogame) and I had to stay alive, but I couldn't. I started to see white energy everywhere and it felt incredible, but I was still scared. I realized I was going to die. I remember just before I did I visualized a virtual reality mask coming off of my face. I heard the words (roughly) "Why are you scared? Its just a game. Life is just a game". I almost let go, which I now think would have been the death of my ego, but I asked "what about my family?" and I came right back. But I was still in the state I had been in before and I still felt like if I didn't stay active I would die.
There were several points in which I heard voices distinct from my own and those in the room commenting on what I was doing. Twice I was told that if I let go, myself and everyone there would be sent into a better reality, but we all had to die first.
Not me kill them, just die. I want to make that clear.
At one point I touched what I believed to be my guardian angel and felt an amazing beautiful energy run through my arm. But then it was gone.
There were many other things that happened too which aren't so clear anymore. I was directed towards a piece of paper which I used to write some jumbled things which included "Kyle and I are one" "water is God" then "everything is God". I remember trying to count to ten with deep breaths several times. When I was writing, the light level from one light kept changing. It was just bare bulb. Then, as quickly as it started it was over when someone asked if I wanted to watch a movie. The movie was an episode of "Game of Thrones" which had a ton of spiritual references and deaths.
That is about as much as I can remember of the event at the time being. To answer your question, yes SA had led me to discover spirituality as it is the reason I started meditating.
I have not been able to explain this to anyone in person yet without stuttering and not being able to end up finishing the story. Everyone also automatically discounts the story when I mention that there was substances used. But I emphasize, No Psychedelics! I do consider them a window into true reality, but I have never used them myself.
I'm not sure what else to say right now so I'll just post again if I need to.
If anyone wants to recount their own story please do. I would be fascinated by, and love to hear them.
