Someone said getting a love life would help beat social anxiety?

[recluse]

The general Balkan area is a pretty macho culture from what I've seen. I used to know a guy from Macedonia who would always brag about beating up policemen. I'd be like "wtf are you talking about?" but I guess down there that's quite normal.

Anyway, I think a relationship can sometimes help with social anxiety in that it can mask the problem somewhat when you have someone to share life's ups and downs with. Of course, that's not really a solution, it just gives you more to hide behind. But it is comforting having someone by your side.

I used to work with a guy from Lithuania and he would be always bragging and acting macho. All he would talk about was pumping iron in the gym, picking up girls, doing drugs, about the time he worked as a bouncer etc.

He claimed that he had never cried in his life ''because men aren't supposed to cry'' and he would generally act like a douche walking around with his arms out to make himself appear bigger.

I've noticed that when i've been in Poland and Slovenia men seem to carry this type of caveman mentality, not to say that all of them do though.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Having a love life always made SA worse for me. I become dependent on that person to be the social representative of us as a couple so I don't have to do it.
And if I have someone who is always available to me and makes me feel comfortable, I won't branch out and try to be social with others at all.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

The experience itself may help, but having friends would probably do the same thing.

Being with someone who will bring you out places with them, talk, listen and force you to push your limits a bit could be good for anyone with SA.
Like some have said though-- it could also make things worse.

 

[Feathers]

Not all men from Eastern Europe are the same!! Yikes!! Stereotypes!!

While some of the 'louder' ones (perhaps especially in some professions, eg construction etc) might be more inclined to act this way (especially when around other guys, strangers/new people or people they might think they need to 'impress' - I think it's the typical 'alpha macho' bull****... trying to 'out-macho each other'... ) some may be really nice and polite to women, kids, older or other people...

I've been told Greek guys can be very jealous (some of them) and 'macho', and someone I know is happily married to one anyway!! Don't generalize!!

You might find more 'sensitive' types among artsy people, musicians etc.
There are LOTS of miserable songs that people sing when get drunk, wearing heart on the sleeve etc.

On topic: to me, getting a love life did help in the past, I was more comfortable around guys etc.
It wasn't a 'magical cure-all' for everything... It also depends who you're with, yeah, if they're supportive or not, what they think about you, how they behave and what they say... I'd probably nix someone unsupportive or too difficult to be with...

As to 'how' well, there's online dating etc. But it would be good to work on sa first too, or in paralell to both...? 'small steps'!! maybe just talk to people in stores first (eg older nice-looking lady selling cheese/bread?) if that's easier?

Some people may only have sa in certain situation, some with handsome/pretty interesting people or some with other people... so it partly depends on your sa too...?

 

[hidwell]

I feel it is a lot easier for women with social anxiety than it is for men. As women find attracting a partner much easier than men with social anxiety.

 

[recluse]

Not all men from Eastern Europe are the same!! Yikes!! Stereotypes!!

While some of the 'louder' ones (perhaps especially in some professions, eg construction etc) might be more inclined to act this way (especially when around other guys, strangers/new people or people they might think they need to 'impress' - I think it's the typical 'alpha macho' bull****... trying to 'out-macho each other'... ) some may be really nice and polite to women, kids, older or other people...

I've been told Greek guys can be very jealous (some of them) and 'macho', and someone I know is happily married to one anyway!! Don't generalize!!

You might find more 'sensitive' types among artsy people, musicians etc.
There are LOTS of miserable songs that people sing when get drunk, wearing heart on the sleeve etc.

On topic: to me, getting a love life did help in the past, I was more comfortable around guys etc.
It wasn't a 'magical cure-all' for everything... It also depends who you're with, yeah, if they're supportive or not, what they think about you, how they behave and what they say... I'd probably nix someone unsupportive or too difficult to be with...

As to 'how' well, there's online dating etc. But it would be good to work on sa first too, or in paralell to both...? 'small steps'!! maybe just talk to people in stores first (eg older nice-looking lady selling cheese/bread?) if that's easier?

Some people may only have sa in certain situation, some with handsome/pretty interesting people or some with other people... so it partly depends on your sa too...?

Was this directed at me? If it was i'm sorry, i guess i do sound like i am stereo typing. I suppose that British people are stereotyped as being drunken louts.

 

[Sartana]

I feel it is a lot easier for women with social anxiety than it is for men. As women find attracting a partner much easier than men with social anxiety.

Doesn't mean that it'll be any easier for them in attracting the guy they're interested in.

 

[jonas89]

I think it might help when you're focusing on making someone happy and caring for, because you're setting more focus on your partner than yourself.

But it's no cure, there will always be some difficulties facing your way.

 

[Ambere]

yeah that can't be any less true. I have had three boyfriends and social situations still scare the crap out of me, its nice being able to tell someone how your feeling but it definitely won't make it go away.

 

[da_illest101]

I just think it will help with loneliness and making life a bit more interesting. It might help SA a bit, but most likely won't change anything about it

 

[Gee-Em-Vee]

It's not a cure, more of a distraction maybe, it could help you forget about SA for a while, but as soon as you get your heart broken again, it feels like when your SA comes back, it will only get worse, plus the getting over or moving on part, really hurts a lot.

 

[ohheybbyitscorixx]

It's no cure, in fact for me it made things worse from being in abusive relationships with me on the receiving end.

I know how that is. I've been in several, and it usually makes anxiety waaay worse.



I think it depends. For example, in my current relationship, my S/O has anxiety problems, too. I think I am either attracted to people who have the same problems as me (oh..very bad), or people who do not understand and aren't supportive. If you can find a supportive person to be around, be it a friend or s/o, it can help a lot! I think a support system is the main concern, especially when some people with SA have trouble meeting people, and thus can't find support to get better. I think if you have other anxiety issues (like OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks) maybe it would help to have a supportive s/o more so than if you just have SA.