L30n0r4Qu1g13y
New member
I mean wth? If i can barely talk to people/ have friends how am i suppose to get a boyfriend?
Someone said getting a love life would help beat social anxiety?
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MikeyC
Well-known member
Getting a boyfriend won't magically make everything go away, but having someone there that loves you and cares for you is nice.
If you're finding it hard to talk to people now then it will certainly be difficult to dive into a relationship. Small steps.
Are you after a boyfriend?
If you're finding it hard to talk to people now then it will certainly be difficult to dive into a relationship. Small steps.
Are you after a boyfriend?
gustavofring
Well-known member
I have a girlfriend, and I am still socially anxious.
It is really unwise to put all your hope of dissolving social anxiety in a relationship.
It is really unwise to put all your hope of dissolving social anxiety in a relationship.
Boby
Well-known member
I really don't understand how can someone have a relationship when they have SA ,especially guys ...it's a big mystery for me.I don't know how it's for you but all the girls that I meet seems to smell my lack of confidence from miles like a bloodhound and they don't give me any chance to prove myself is the first 5 min or nothing.
gustavofring
Well-known member
I don't know. I have certainly been a little anxious at the first stages of relationships, but I suppose the girls I have been with found that cute.
Remember that not all girls like super confident guys.
Remember that not all girls like super confident guys.
Boby
Well-known member
That may be true...but i don't think you have met any romanian girls ,they like boys with "balls" the size of China ,figuratively speaking.
gustavofring
Well-known member
I'm sure there are girls who like shyer guys in Romania too. I can't imagine entire Romania consists of the same type of girls who like macho guys?
The general Balkan area is a pretty macho culture from what I've seen. I used to know a guy from Macedonia who would always brag about beating up policemen. I'd be like "wtf are you talking about?" but I guess down there that's quite normal.
Anyway, I think a relationship can sometimes help with social anxiety in that it can mask the problem somewhat when you have someone to share life's ups and downs with. Of course, that's not really a solution, it just gives you more to hide behind. But it is comforting having someone by your side.
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Boby
Well-known member
The general Balkan area is a pretty macho culture from what I've seen. I used to know a guy from Macedonia who would always brag about beating up policemen. I'd be like "wtf are you talking about?" but I guess down there that's quite normal.
Yep just had an discussion with one of my colleagues from uni,he was bragging he was caught by police driving will he was drunk...i was like WTF dude?That's not something to brag about!And the ppl from my uni are considered more "educated".
Vampayah88
Well-known member
I don't know if it helps beating SA, but it's nice, I finally go out more often instead of just going to college then spending all days in my room, I like having someone to talk to, to laugh with, someone who cares for me, looks out for me, Im not as miserable as before. I still don't have more friends than I did before though, which is none.
Well a love life won't help you beat SA. But it is nice to have someone that you can talk to, share things with, and it helps you get out of the house more too. However, be very very careful about having a partner who exploits your vulnerable position and proceeds to mentally abuse you. Thats not good. I have been in this position a couple of times and sometimes people that seem harmless turn out to be quite abusive or cunning. You need to be able to spot these people and not let them hurt you. Be careful and take care of yourself out there.
Newtype
Well-known member
Who told you that? A love life is probably the worst thing to beat SA.
I find that having someone to be around on a day to day basis is healthy for me. However, my SA has caused huge problems in every single relationship I've ever had. For me, the amount that it helps is only a little more than the amount of trouble and pain that it causes. I have to be social much more often than I would have to if I were single.
I disagree with relationships curing SA, I have been seeing a girl last couple weeks and my anxiety has been alot worse during this time, but I have been more motivated to deal with the anxiety. At this point its just waiting to see if she likes me or not enough for a relationship, with SA being part of the package.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
Being in a relationship will not cure SA. I suppose it might give you a temporary confidence boost, but that will eventually pass once you settle into the relationship and your old anxieties return. And the fact that you now have to worry about maintaining a relationship (which can bring its own worries, anxieties and stress) might mean that you end up more anxious than you were before.
(That all sounds terribly negative I know, and I'm not saying that being in a relationship doesn't bring a lot of benefits, but it would be a mistake to think that it's a magical cure for anxiety.)
(That all sounds terribly negative I know, and I'm not saying that being in a relationship doesn't bring a lot of benefits, but it would be a mistake to think that it's a magical cure for anxiety.)
megalon
Well-known member
I think having someone who cares about me and relies on me would give me a source of motivation to achieve some of the goals that I've put on the back burner lately. I would want to be the best person I could be, for her sake. I would then be more confident and sure of myself, and presumably my anxiety would decrease.