Felgen
Well-known member
A lot of guys on this board have problems with the opposite sex. A few will even blame every individual girl because of it. I'm not a dating expert or anything, but here is how I managed to overcome love-shyness:
First of all, you will need confidence. This can be "faked" for a short amount of time (enough to get you in bed with a drunk chick, but no more than that), but it will come by itself after hard work. If you're obese, try to lose some weight; while there are fat guys with hot girlfriends, these fat guys have social skills we don't have. Start going to the gym and become more muscular--this will also boost your confidence. Get a job that will enable you to move out of mom's house (and don't give up before you have one) and consider enrolling in college.
Secondly, most of the PUA stuff with the cheesy pick-up lines is BULLSH!T designed by guys who want to earn money from other people's problems. The only ones worth mentioning are David DeAngelo and Neil Strauss, because unlike other pick-up artists, their material isn't as out of date as Windows 95. However, before you try out any of the dating gurus, read books and articles on overcoming shyness and anxiety.
Third, get a haircut and a nice wardrobe. Make sure it's a haircut that looks good with your facial structure; what looks great one one person, may not look that great on the person next to him. If you know where to look, designer jeans and nice sweaters don't have to be expensive. If you're not sure about what looks good on you, ask a female friend (female friends are underrated). A lot of men and women are uncut diamonds without knowing it themselves.
Fourth, ignore all the cliches about how "you just have to be yourself", "it will happen when you least expect it" or "there's someone out there for everybody". 10% of all the single males get 60% of all the single females, because they have confidence and social skills. You can overcome your shyness and improve your confidence and still keep your personality.
Fifth, stop blaming your problems on girls and women. While women have it easier than men when it comes to dating, ranting about it isn't going to make it easier to you. A woman isn't going to feel bad for you and date you just because she can get laid easier than you can. The guy who doesn't even have a high school degree and drives a Corvette, isn't going to give it to you because you work harder than him either.
Finally, don't be afraid to give the cute, slightly chubby girl a chance. If a person is 20 lbs overweight, it doesn't make them less attractive. If the only place where you look for girls is the local bar (where 3/4 of the customers are men), you're going to get rejected a lot. A great place to meet girls in 2010 is therefore the internet. Don't waste your money on Match.com where none of the girls have a paid subscribtion, but try out some of the free alternatives (eg. Plenty of Fish) instead.
Good luck!
Some tips I forgot to add: Mature women aren't attracted to a-holes. Some immature ones fall for "wannabe gangsters" because the media tells them that they're "cool", but most mature women actually like friendly guys as long as they're able to stand up for themselves and don't put her on a pedestal.
First of all, you will need confidence. This can be "faked" for a short amount of time (enough to get you in bed with a drunk chick, but no more than that), but it will come by itself after hard work. If you're obese, try to lose some weight; while there are fat guys with hot girlfriends, these fat guys have social skills we don't have. Start going to the gym and become more muscular--this will also boost your confidence. Get a job that will enable you to move out of mom's house (and don't give up before you have one) and consider enrolling in college.
Secondly, most of the PUA stuff with the cheesy pick-up lines is BULLSH!T designed by guys who want to earn money from other people's problems. The only ones worth mentioning are David DeAngelo and Neil Strauss, because unlike other pick-up artists, their material isn't as out of date as Windows 95. However, before you try out any of the dating gurus, read books and articles on overcoming shyness and anxiety.
Third, get a haircut and a nice wardrobe. Make sure it's a haircut that looks good with your facial structure; what looks great one one person, may not look that great on the person next to him. If you know where to look, designer jeans and nice sweaters don't have to be expensive. If you're not sure about what looks good on you, ask a female friend (female friends are underrated). A lot of men and women are uncut diamonds without knowing it themselves.
Fourth, ignore all the cliches about how "you just have to be yourself", "it will happen when you least expect it" or "there's someone out there for everybody". 10% of all the single males get 60% of all the single females, because they have confidence and social skills. You can overcome your shyness and improve your confidence and still keep your personality.
Fifth, stop blaming your problems on girls and women. While women have it easier than men when it comes to dating, ranting about it isn't going to make it easier to you. A woman isn't going to feel bad for you and date you just because she can get laid easier than you can. The guy who doesn't even have a high school degree and drives a Corvette, isn't going to give it to you because you work harder than him either.
Finally, don't be afraid to give the cute, slightly chubby girl a chance. If a person is 20 lbs overweight, it doesn't make them less attractive. If the only place where you look for girls is the local bar (where 3/4 of the customers are men), you're going to get rejected a lot. A great place to meet girls in 2010 is therefore the internet. Don't waste your money on Match.com where none of the girls have a paid subscribtion, but try out some of the free alternatives (eg. Plenty of Fish) instead.
Good luck!
Some tips I forgot to add: Mature women aren't attracted to a-holes. Some immature ones fall for "wannabe gangsters" because the media tells them that they're "cool", but most mature women actually like friendly guys as long as they're able to stand up for themselves and don't put her on a pedestal.
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*thumbs up*
