I have a question to those who have kids. Does your social phobia affect your relationship with your children? I don't have kids yet and am up in the air if I want kids. On one hand I'm scared, on the other I want to have them, I'm afraid to have kids/bring kids into this world for many reasons, part of it is S.P. how am I going to talk too as my kids get older, have the energy for, kids?
social phobia and relationship with your kids
- Thread starter PhillyFlyersGrl
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Agent_Violet
Well-known member
It's hard bc my son is 9 and he doesn't have much of a social life and i think it's bc i don't.
i try to push both of us to be social but it gets tedious. He has a lot of trouble with peer relations and i think it's my fault.
i fear he will grow up to be just like me
i try to push both of us to be social but it gets tedious. He has a lot of trouble with peer relations and i think it's my fault.
i fear he will grow up to be just like me
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
It's hard bc my son is 9 and he doesn't have much of a social life and i think it's bc i don't.
i try to push both of us to be social but it gets tedious. He has a lot of trouble with peer relations and i think it's my fault.
i fear he will grow up to be just like me
Are you the female version of me?
I have exactly the same issues with my 9 year old daughter.
She has one good friend and she is the only person she see's out of school.
I take her swimming every sunday afternoon which was really difficult for the first few weeks but is getting easier. She aslo goes to Karate but doesn't talk to any of the other kids there.
I found her journal the other day and I to worry she will end up the same as my wife and myself, but that is another thread.
You will find when you have children you will think less about what is affecting you and more about what they want and what you can provide. It takes strength of mind but can be done
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bigcat1967
Well-known member
I have an eight year old. This alone has motivated me to get out there and be out going. We have her into all types of stuff - and it gives me a chance to meet new ppl while I'm waiting for her ballet class. So - us having our daughter has been better for me because I force myself to do things where I used to never do.
I appreciate all the comments so far. Anyone feel self-conscience around their own child or child and friends? I ask this because not only do I have S.P. with adults Im shy with children too. Not always, I am on medication, my S.P. isnt bad as it once was, but I have my moments.
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
I am not self conscious with my daughter but I am with other children. I get paranoid about what other people think of me when I am around other children as if they are thinking I am some kind of peadophile. I think that is the same with a lot of people though which is down to the way in which peadophilia has come more to the forefront of what people are exposed to through media. There are a lot more reported cases than there ever was when I was growing up and so people are a lot more standoffish when it comes to other people's children.
Agent_Violet
Well-known member
Other kids freak me out. especially the ones that STARE at adults...ugh.
I'm most comfortable with my son. As much as I fear he'll be like me, I adore him bc he accepts me no matter what....and i think he kinda likes me
bc i accept him no matter what.
Section_31
Well-known member
Im not a parent, yet, but ive been paying close attention to this because me and my wife do want children someday. With both of us having S/A and a long history of mental instability in both families, we both feel its pretty much assured our kids will have S/A.
That said, we want to teach them from a young age what it is, that they arent alone, that we have it as well. Im hoping that maybe with understanding, and encouragement instead of what we got from our parents, maybe their outcome will be different?.
I dont know, maybe im being too optimistic or unrealistic, but i have to try. For them.
That said, we want to teach them from a young age what it is, that they arent alone, that we have it as well. Im hoping that maybe with understanding, and encouragement instead of what we got from our parents, maybe their outcome will be different?.
I dont know, maybe im being too optimistic or unrealistic, but i have to try. For them.
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
i think shy moms are better moms since you will be more sensitve to the childs feelings but also there's disipline involved but not physical punishment of coarse if you want them and have a stable life then have a kid or more.... p.s i'm not a mom but offered advice anyway
if you want them and have a stable life then have a kid or more.... p.s i'm not a mom but offered advice anywayOther kids freak me out. especially the ones that STARE at adults...ugh.
I'm most comfortable with my son. As much as I fear he'll be like me, I adore him bc he accepts me no matter what....and i think he kinda likes me
Yeah the staring drives me nuts too. Or how about when kids are playing in the street and they stare at you as your trying to drive by..like your doing something wrong, meanwhile they are pretty much in the middle of the road..
i think shy moms are better moms since you will be more sensitve to the childs feelings but also there's disipline involved but not physical punishment of coarse
That would be good if it works in my favor. But if I'm shy with my own child I don't want to make him or her feel shy towards me. It seems to rub off sometimes..
